To think breastfeeding has made no difference to my dd and is massively overrated in terms of benefits?

[Placeanditspatrons]

I've nearly driven myself to a breakdown feeding my dd. She is 16 months now and I'm still feeding. She has been ill more times and worse than my formula fed from four months son. She does not recover any faster and she catches anything I get and gets it worse, despite supppsedly the antibodies passing to her and either preventing or reducing the severity of the illness.

I know it's anecdotal and the studies say overall bf babies are healthier but how much healthier? I mean I we talking one less cold? One less ear injection? Statistically? Many of my friends have said similar. Again anecdotal but I can't help wondering - after the colostrum which is more important I guess - does it really make any noticeable difference?

You sound like you need to stop. And 16 monthsciscsurely plenty. I think one of the greatest statistical confounders of BF studies is maternal socio-economic status, as middle class parents have a much greater tendency to breastfeed, so many of the benefits associated with BF are actually tied in with maternal socio economic status and educational attainment.

Yasmin it's been explained so many times proper studies account for these sociology economic differences so that's not the case...!

And 16 months isn't 'plenty' - there's so much negative pressure on extended breastfeeders to stop after 12 months!

People can feed for 6 hours or 6 years - what you think is 'plenty' might be not enough for someone else or way too much for others.

Nuff said....

Really you can stop now, your angst with it is not good for you or your baby. I struggled 4 weeks with my first DD, bleeding, so expressing when she slept, and I was in such turmoil and dreaded the feeds when at last a lovely 50 year old healthy visitor said "what are you stressing about, I fed all mine on formula, get some in and enjoy your baby" best advice and "permission" to bottle feed and it was all up hill from then. My second DD was different, I realised how hard breast feeding was and researched and got calendula cream as fair ladies are prone to sensitive nipples even when baby is latched perfectly, and I managed to feed her for 7 months, HOWEVER, both are now 20 and 16 and happy and healthy and equally intelligent and I am just glad for that lovely health visitor that gave me "permission", too much pressure on breastfeeding, they are not babies for long so whichever works BF OR formula, just do it and enjoy 😰

Really you can stop now, your angst with it is not good for you or your baby. I struggled 4 weeks with my first DD, bleeding, so expressing when she slept, and I was in such turmoil and dreaded the feeds when at last a lovely 50 year old healthy visitor said "what are you stressing about, I fed all mine on formula, get some in and enjoy your baby" best advice and "permission" to bottle feed and it was all up hill from then. My second DD was different, I realised how hard breast feeding was and researched and got calendula cream as fair ladies are prone to sensitive nipples even when baby is latched perfectly, and I managed to feed her for 7 months, HOWEVER, both are now 20 and 16 and happy and healthy and equally intelligent and I am just glad for that lovely health visitor that gave me "permission", too much pressure on breastfeeding, they are not babies for long so whichever works BF OR formula, just do it and enjoy 😰

Child 1 - bf, lovely home, non smoking parents, heeds advice re SIDS, gets their child immunised, attends regular HV checks, attends baby massage class and the like, is given good quality healthy food when weaned...
Child 2 - ff, dirty home, pets, smokers in the house, ignores adive on SIDS, misses HV checks and immunisations, is plonked in a travel system for hours on end, formula not always made as per instructions

Lovely stereotypes there

FWIF, I know a bf child who lives in a "dirty home, pets, smokers in the house, ignores adive on SIDS, misses HV checks and immunisations" who is the healthiest child in her year.

By 16 months I was only doing a night feed so maybe time to stop anyway? I think the immunity thing is supposed to be there up until two years but in the 1st World it doesn't really provide much benefit after one year I believe, and some say six months is plenty.

Someone just shared this on FB. Can this be true? My antibodies aren't doing a great job. Dd caught the cold off me and now has it worse than I did!

you have done amazing to breastfeed past 12 months but if your not enjoying breastfeeding your child then maybe its time to stop

i breastfed both my children and had one thats bright top class at school and rarely ill although she has eczema and another child who was ill like yours with constant cold, ear infections and is in the lower ability class at school ( i think its more to do what month they were born )
so i wouldnt worry too much about what the statistics says or whats written in paper its what is best for you and your child ..every child is different

I think I have posted this but new to it and not sure!
Really you can stop now, your angst with it is not good for you or your baby. I struggled 4 weeks with my first DD, bleeding, so expressing when she slept, and I was in such turmoil and dreaded the feeds when at last a lovely 50 year old healthy visitor said "what are you stressing about, I fed all mine on formula, get some in and enjoy your baby" best advice and "permission" to bottle feed and it was all up hill from then. My second DD was different, I realised how hard breast feeding was and researched and got calendula cream as fair ladies are prone to sensitive nipples even when baby is latched perfectly, and I managed to feed her for 7 months, HOWEVER, both are now 20 and 16 and happy and healthy and equally intelligent and I am just glad for that lovely health visitor that gave me "permission", too much pressure on breastfeeding, they are not babies for long so whichever works BF OR formula, just do it and enjoy 😰

Those are articles and statements, not studies.

The WHO is quite clear that the studies which have weighted the data properly, still show a significant difference between outcomes for babies who have been BF and those who haven't.

All other things being equal, breastfed babies within the same socio economic group as bottle fed ones, will have better outcomes.

I don't know why people keep saying that it's all social class, it just isn't. The studies have already weighted for that.

But as far as the OP is concerned, it sounds like you're ready to stop and as long as that choice is right for you, you should go for it. Everyone's welfare has to be balanced in a family and your welfare is just as important as anyone else's.

I have always thought my friends breastfed babies were the sickest babies. Chest infections, coughs, colds, ear infections, tonsillitis. You could almost draw a line down my 5 friends that breastfed and the constant sickness and my 4 friends that FF and their children's quite good health.

It's quite freaky really.

I have two DC who were breastfed for a year + apiece, and who - touch wood - are never sick.

DB and I were both breastfed back in 70s when it was unfashionable, and we're robust as anything.

My anecdata re other people's sick kids is quite the opposite.

Still defend to the death any woman's right to feed her own DC how she chooses...

Have not read the full thread, I can imagine how it went! But yes, as previous posters have said, with clean water and good nutrition the effects of breastfeeding are overstated. The research is not of great quality, for one thing, it is hard to control for variables because you cannot randomly allocate children to breastfeeding or formula feeding. The "breast is best" thing has gone mad, I think, and women are way under too much pressure to breastfeed on the basis of evidence that is less strong than breastfeeding advocates believe or admit. I have breastfed both of mine for a very long time (toddlers), and quite enjoyed it, so no negative experience for me, but I found the excessive zeal of some breastfeeding advocates off-putting.

one of my friends never attempted breast feeding and uses the controversial perfect prep machine.

She is always posting on facebook.about how sick her baby is. Colic. Vomiting. diarhea etc.

would he be any better if he was breastfed? who knows.

Same with yours. bottom line is you are.struggling with it now and totally fine to stop.

Not read all the posts but u sound a bit depressed? Ignore benefits to breastfeeding right now, do u want to continue or not? With my first I loved it but suddenly I had had enough and it was absolutely the right time (14 month) for me. Hugs xx

Anyone who wants to BF and gets on with it brilliant but if you don't it's not at all an issue. Formula has come a long way and has lots of extras these days. BF is only as good as you are putting into your body. All the studies are mainly anecdotal because it is usually "middle class" families that breastfeed and due to a number of reasons their kids are likely to be healthier, better educated etc. Plus most the evidence is very old. The recommendations on BF come from the WHO and of course it is a very important source of nutrition in developing countries. I work with a lady who struggled through mastitis etc because the midwives etc kept pushing her saying it's much better for him he won't have any allergies etc and he had loads. She was adamant they weren't going to pressurise her second time. My son goes to school (yes!) with a boy who is still BF he's ill all the time with chest problems and bugs. It's no golden bullet. Don't forget I think it was a French lady who did a study on twins 1 BF 1 FF - no difference

Across the globe it isn't mainly middle class mothers who breastfeed is it?

I can't believe the astonishing ignorance of some of the actual science!

"I work with a lady who struggled through mastitis etc because the midwives etc kept pushing her saying it's much better for him he won't have any allergies etc and he had loads"

Or what she might have been told is that the best way to deal with mastitis is to feed through it-then decide about whether to carry on afterwards.

Anyone who HCP who says that bf means no allergies, or is a silver bullet or any other hyperbolic statement needs to be reported.

But it is also important to remember that earlier on this thread, a poster said that we don't actually know about the long term benefits of bf, and there is a possibility that on a population level it may reduce the risk of cancer, and immediately another poster said "oh, so bfrastfeeding prevents all cancer now!" So we do need to be careful.

Breast milk isn't "only as good as you're putting in". It doesn't work like that. maternal nutrition doesn't make much difference to milk composition, unless you're literally starving. It's made from stuff in your blood post digestion & excretion of toxins etc. Cells in your breasts uptake what's needed to make milk in the proportions required etc. It doesn't come directly from your stomach contents.
kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-diet/
Even alcohol only transfers to breastmilk in really small quantities so the "pump & dump" idea is not thought necessary now for non excessive drinking. There are so many myths still out there, there's clearly a fair bit wrong with education on infant feeding given to new mums