To think breastfeeding has made no difference to my dd and is massively overrated in terms of benefits?

[Placeanditspatrons]

I've nearly driven myself to a breakdown feeding my dd. She is 16 months now and I'm still feeding. She has been ill more times and worse than my formula fed from four months son. She does not recover any faster and she catches anything I get and gets it worse, despite supppsedly the antibodies passing to her and either preventing or reducing the severity of the illness.

I know it's anecdotal and the studies say overall bf babies are healthier but how much healthier? I mean I we talking one less cold? One less ear injection? Statistically? Many of my friends have said similar. Again anecdotal but I can't help wondering - after the colostrum which is more important I guess - does it really make any noticeable difference?

Writer😂

In real life I've never met a woman especially mum who appeared to judge other mum's choice re feeding. But I've met a couple of men with very strong opinions on breastfeeding and generally on how to correctly bring up your child....

It's far far too complicated for anyone to be right/wrong.

I desperately tried to feed (first month went okay) and then it went totally tits up I was given loads of help that in the end was wrong/useless.
Whilst I continued to battle my child was starving - no matter how many people told me 'to eat more oats' 'skin to skin' 'drink more water'

I was under enormous pressure to continue and in the end made me and DD ill.

My consultant told me I shouldn't have started in the first place! I'm glad I am tried - however the advice I got all made me feel like I was going something wrong and if I tried harder my supply would come in again.

Any you can't tell DD wasn't totally BF - she's now tall and slim.
I can show you plenty of kids who were BF and now fat

One of dd's brothers had the same problem. That midwife refused to leave until she'd seen a bottle of formula drunk. He escaped SCBU by a whisper. So wish I'd had her second time round.

Writer

My sample of two (one ebf to 6 months and mixed feeding to 10 months; one completely ff) shows two DC that you would struggle to tell which was which, there is no difference between them developmentally, physically, health wise etc etc

I am a firm believer in bf and wish that new mums had better support in the early days to get it established (I can still remember the one nurse who sat with me for ages and ages to get the latch right and helped me and DS "crack it" one night). But at the expense of the mother's sanity / ability to go out to work to earn a living / making an informed decision on how to raise her children? Nah, no way. I'd fight any politician who tried to make formula prescription only as a regressive misogynist

I think 'feeding choice' as a term is a real misnomer- similar to birth choices, in that you may have expected to be able to do x, but you find yourself doing y, and there may be complex, multifaceted reasons why.

In that context, remarks about how some people seem insecure about their feeding choices seems unkind, to say the least.

to all mothers, however they are feeding their babies

I have clashed with mini plenty of times but sometimes (only sometimes) she makes valid points, whereas ImYour is just batshit cray-cray IMHO.

Mini, if that is you, give your head a wobble. Sanctimony is slightly more acceptable when backed up by science

I'm currently 8 months pregnant and planning on bottle feeding. I've had numerous people questioning me on this, in a way that wouldn't have crossed their mind if I was breastfeeding.

My nct course refuses to discuss bottles, and whilst I've been told about breastfeeding support groups covering every day of the week, breastfeeding support numbers for 24 hours a day etc, for me, there is nothing. No support. No practical guidance. Nothing except for questioning and judgement.

And yet people say here that breastfeeding support is poor. Maybe it is, but bottle support is non existent.

I don't understand why people think bottle feeding support is required as much as breastfeeding support is? Tits don't come with instructions on them. Formula tins do. Bottle feeding doesn't require your body to behave a certain way and is very easily established once you've made a bottle up. Pop in the baby's mouth, done. With breastfeeding women need support with latch, inverted nipples, supply, pain, interference with medication, tongue tie, cluster feeding, potential for mastitis, to name but a few. Not having a go at FFers, I just wish people wouldn't believe lack of support is down to anyone 'judging' you, it's merely a case of pouring resources into where it's needed most.

The two largest studies done to date have not found a long lasting benefit from breastfeeding over formula. The most interesting study focused on 8,000 families where one sibling was breastfed and the other sibling formula fed. Beyond the first year of life no benefit was found, interestingly though the researchers discovered a slightly higher of developing asthma in the breastfed group.

At the end of the day it's a personal decision and I agree that overall it's probably better to aim to breastfeed, for bonding and health benefits to the mother no one should feel guilty or worry about their children if they use formula.

www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2014-02/osu-bba022514.php

pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2017/03/23/peds.2016-1848

but bottle support is non existent.

Well, that's not true. It's a step-by-step procedure that's outlined on each and every tin you buy.

CherryChasingDotMuncher, some support from the judgement would be nice, as would some company with other new parents.

If there were feeding support groups, then no one would be excluded and we could all support each other, but instead formula feeders are left out, which leads to more social isolation.

Ok but formula feeders don't need support in feeding? Bfeeding groups are specifically tailored to support with breastfeeding, which is a specific thing requiring specific support.

I formula fed my son from 6 months. It doesn't require support.

For general support there are tonnes of baby groups etc which aren't geared around feeding.

I normally stay away from these threads, because reacting to them always ends up feeling a bit pointless. But I do feel the need to point out that rainbunny overstates the importance of that siblings' study - raised a few times on mumsnet. Just read the study critically; read the discussion on it in the academic journals; ask yourself about the outcomes of this study and their relevance. If you don't want to track this stuff down search for discussions on mumsnet. It is far from being the largest study and even further from being some sort of last word on the issue.

rainbunny, the problem is that infant feeding can be much more complex than a 'personal decision'. Too often mothers find the decision is taken out of their hands- bf goes wrong and they end up ff when they did not plan to. The whole 'decision' is mediated through culture, psychological factors, social pressures of one sort or another, and physical/physiological aspects.

No one sensible who works either voluntrarily or professionally in early parenting support should be ignoring maternal mental health - which is vital for infant mental health, too. Some posts here indicate that mothers have some sort of moral duty to bf whatever the circumstances - ugh!!! Most women want to bf - they recognise it is a worthwhile thing to do which can be rewarding and pleasurable for both them and their baby. They're not doing it out of duty or guilt. Yet it can be hard to do, and they need extra help and support. For an individual who wants to ff to resent this extra help and support being on offer to those who need it strikes me as churlish.

Ff are isolated because a tiny number of support groups focus on bf???!

Almost 100 per cent of mothers use formula at some point.

It is the norm in the uk.

Ninety nine per cent of support groups and activities and events for mothers and babies are not bf support groups.

If you are miffed at the existence of necessary support groups for bf, then I wonder if you are looking too hard for something to be miffed by!

The thing is that there are lots of better ways of doing things, but being a mother is for the long haul and the mother's peace of mind is the most important thing.

I do think that breast is best, but my MIL just passed away at the age of 84 and she was bottle fed (heaven knows what she was given in those days).

Perhaps the amount of unwell episodes compared to your FF Ds is to do with lack of vitamin D (important for immunity) which you are recommended to supplement with when BF?

Ridiculous, rabbitmummy. There is no evidence at all that bf babies unsupplemented with vit d are more likely to have increased frequency of illness. The advice to supplement babies with vit d makes some sense in Northern Europe (Norwegians of all ages all supplement) in case we or our babies miss out on sunlight but there is no risk of babies being actually ill without it. You're gonna worry some ppl with your judgmental post :(

Rabbit

At 16 months why don't you just jack it in if you cba anymore? Most women are happy to make 6 days, then 6 weeks and then 6 months. Why do you need to moan about it? Also at only days away from giving birth I can honestly say that no midwife or health professional has been pushy in any way at all about breastfeeding, if anything they haven't been encouraging enough.

And if you honestly need to query the health benefits of breastfeeding over formula then maybe you should just stop because it's obviously not right for you.

We are all different. So just make your own choice and be happy with that. I don't see why there always have to be these battles!

For me breastfeeding worked fine once it was established and some of my happiest times of my life have been quietly feeding the five babies (including twins one on each side), the warmth, the oxytocin hit as the let down reflex occurs - some of the best momemts of my life (and I hope the babies enjoyed it too!). Not everyone is as lucky as I am with that.

If you don't like it stop it. In fact by 16 months some of my babies have given up on it - not my choice - theirs. I never wanted them to stop but they sacked me in the end not the other way round.

I breastfed my DC, I found it easy and convenient. If it's not working for you, just stop!

You know your trying to use ancedotal evidence to justify your reasons to quit. You have every right to stop breastfeeding as first and foremost its your body, you dont have the right to suggest your personal experience with your children overrides literally every medical body in existance.

On a side note why on earth do formula feedings mums need support groups? You are 99.5% of the mothering community, i do think there just be a FF best practise as part of ante natal support but its unreasonable to suggest that FF babies need ongoing post natal support to the same level as BF do.