'Free birthing' AIBU to think this woman should not be encouraging people to do this

[WilliowGreen]

In this guardian article this woman boasts about her wonderful birth experience by rejecting all care including scans because "it was not empowering".
Before I had my baby (she is 2 weeks old) I would probably have thought her lack of self awareness was funny. Now it quite irrationally fills me with rage.
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/28/experience-i-had-a-free-birth.

Of course things will affect the outcome, but that isn't the same thing as being able to control the outcome. You can woo your way through your pregnancy, take a hypnobirthing course, swim 3 times a week be completely relaxed in labour luxuriating in the pool and end up with a C Section. The risk might just be 15% instead of 25% (made up stats btw) but the risk is still there.

If you have a very high risk pregnancy you don't really have choices. Unless you count if you don't do this you and your baby will die a choice.

I do. It is up to the woman what level of risk she is prepared to accept.

But that risk is there in hospital too.

Which is why it's individual choice about what a person feels will reduce the risk as much as possible for them

Giles I think the issue is that many people don't understand risk tbh. They want assurance of safety which of course is impossible.

I also think this thread is about freebirthing not homebirths v hospital. I have had a HB personally and consider this to be an entirely mainstream choice.

Eradicating medical professionals though people struggle to understand why is in keeping with minimising risks to some people.

It could be because someone is highly stressed by strangers or has had previous negative experiences with HCP or who's treatment so far has been so bad they can't cope with any more.

It's balancing that risk isn't it? Trusting your dh/dw to alert you to anything that could I dictate a problem vs trusting a HCP who has so far proven to be wrong or has upset or hurt you?

Or it is about their perceived risk as opposed to the reality of the risks that they face?

It amazes me that this thread has gone on so long. However odd she is, it was her decision. End of story really.

Perceived risk is all you have though

As I said hospital poses just as many risks

Lack of care
Infection
Refusal of pain relief
No anaethatist available
Pool occupied
Rough handling

Amongst others

No garuntee any of those or all of those will happen either on the day and time you visit but they can and do frequently.

And i would suspect that soneone faving a birth in this way has thoight of And accepted all those risks and has acknowledged the possibilities.

Alot more so than someone entering a hospital has expected or accepted all the potential poor treatments and screw ups that await them

I also think this thread is about freebirthing not homebirths v hospital. I have had a HB personally and consider this to be an entirely mainstream choice.

Exactly.
It's not about home birth vs hospital.

It's about somebody choosing to be medically misinformed, withdraw from almost all medical support on the grounds of 'empowerment' and arrogant enough to feel they can build a business/brand on their 'it turned out OK for me' story Vs somebody with a reasonable knowledge base making an informed decision based on a range of evidence and choosing a home/hospital birth because it's right for them and standing by their own choice without trying to evangelise on social media.

Thumb no not a midwife but I would say my work has given me more experience than just my own births which is all most pregnant women have to go on. Interestingly, while totally supportive, my dh said beforehand that he would feel more confident if I were next to him helping rather than actually being the one give birth. When it came to it, I don't know if it was the absence of gas and air but I was totally with it and told him when I was getting near to start pushing, when I was pushing, when he needed to get ready to catch. He was relieved I was able to talk him through it!

Perceived risk is all you have though

Well no, because HCPs should be providing advice on how to lower your risk. If all women have is perceived risk there is something badly wrong

But they will tell you how to reduce risk medically in all the obvious ways.

That wont factor in a person's stress levels which may well alter depending on how these appointments go.

And they sure as he'll wont factor in all the appalling treatment women receive in the hospital. Any outbreaks if infections etc

It's much more complicated than lowering risk. You may lower risk of one outcome but increase the risk of another.
No HCp can tell you your specific risk as the stats are so general.

I think we have to face up to the reality that there isn't only one type of risk. Risk to the baby's health is one type. Risk to the mother's physical health is another. Risk to the mother's mental health is a third. All serious. If you tell me there is a risk to my physical health and my baby's physical health involved in birth, I will have to weigh that risk against the risk to my mental health involved in being in hospital. No-one can quantify that for any individual woman. Some women come out of hospital after giving birth and their mental health does not recover. That isn't trivial.

Giles most of the risks you list, besides infection, aren't a risk to life though

And you can't really rely on a non medical birthing partner to alert you, if something is going wrong

I can't help thinking it's a bit ungrateful to be honest. There are woman in third world countries who would kills for the pregnancy support and care we have access too, to call it unempowering is remarkable. To have reassurance and choices that scans etc provide is a privilege that shouldn't be sneered at.

I know it's slightly different but I read somewhere that in Portugal only ten maternity units have gas and air. Gas and air only! I WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP! I feel very greatful for ever support I had access too.

You can't rely on a hospital either.

Yeah to a degree what happens will happen. But it's not rocket science to realise that stress and comfort levels will affect outcome.

Speaking from my own personal experience I have to take issue with this. When the midwives came out to me during DS2's labour they said that I was incredibly calm considering I was in labour. One said she'd never seen anyone so relaxed. That didn't stop DS2 getting stuck sideways resulting in my crash section as previously mentioned. I still say LUCK plays a huge, huge part in birth.

I havent denied that it does

But being too hot exhausted disturbed and scared won't help.

At all.

And you could easily have been amongst the many women ignored in hospitals where problem a remained undetected due to lack of care.

You can't say you would have been better off in hospital where that midwife would not have been present and got you the help you needed.

You can't say either way

That's the point.

Excellent post trifle.
Whilst I wouldn't personally do what that woman did and free birth, I would defend her right to do it.

Headofthehive55
Whereas I take an issue with it.

If she wanted an unassisted homebirth then I wouldn't agree but would respect the choice if medically she was low risk, had attended scans and her wishes were communicated, she called midwives at the start of labour and the hospital knew they had staff available should there be a complication.

To pull out of almost all medical care but expect people to swoop in incase your reckless decision doesn't pay off I can't agree with. I find it selfish to expect somebody else's care to be interrupted because somebody who's shunned medicine in thr name of being quirky now actually decides she wants it.

MaisyPops

I said earlier, I think she is a few sandwiches short reckless myself! But I respect her right to make a decision I don't agree with and think is incorrect in its assessment of risk.