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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dads changing nappies

165 replies

GastonsWife · 28/04/2017 13:56

I have a newborn DD. My friend has a 5 month DD. At my baby shower friend told me that her DH doesn't change their babies nappies because she's a girl. Now DD is here and my DH changes just as many nappies as I do and I think I would find it a definite strain to be breast feeding and doing all the nappies. I never thought of dad's changing girls nappies as an issue. Should I have?

OP posts:
Placeanditspatrons · 28/04/2017 17:31

My dh never has dd on his own

corythatwas · 28/04/2017 17:36

Placeanditspatrons Fri 28-Apr-17 17:20:07
"Dh never changes dd. I think he's changed two in 16 months. However that's about the amount he did with ds too so I don't think it's because she's a girl.

I actually would feel weird about him doing it now I've thought about it. Luckily he's lazy so it's not an issue."

So did you expect other people to feel weird about you changing the nappies of a baby of the opposite sex? Or is it only men who can be paedophiles and does it apply to all men?

skerrywind · 28/04/2017 17:41

My OH never changed nappies- once or twice only.
He never changed our DDs nappies, never fed her either.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/04/2017 17:41

@Placeanditspatrons - do you not think that your dd's relationship with her dad, and his with her, would benefit from time spent alone together?

There is noting abnormal or dodgy about a father changing his dd's nappy, bathing her, taking her swimming or to the loo.

What would happen in an emergency, if you couldn't change her? If her dad couldn't change her, should she stay in a pooey nappy until a woman can change her? Would you really think nappy rash was a reasonable price to pay for her not to have a man change her nappy?

Placeanditspatrons · 28/04/2017 17:43

He doesn't want her on his own. He never had ds on his own either until ds was about 5

Placeanditspatrons · 28/04/2017 17:43

I'm not stopping him

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/04/2017 17:45

He doesn't want to have his children on his own? That is really sad, and both he and his children will miss out because of it.

strawberrypenguin · 28/04/2017 17:46

Ah no. Your friend is being weird. Does that mean I get to tell DH I'm not changing DS's nappies anymore or does this crazy rule only apply to dads and daughters?

skerrywind · 28/04/2017 17:47

I don't think it's sad, Just the way things work in some families.

My OH never had the kids on his own until they were 3 or so.

Placeanditspatrons · 28/04/2017 17:47

No he's not much interest until they are older.

boolifooli · 28/04/2017 17:50

Op I haven't read any replies but you're right. And I bloody hope most of the responses say the same! It comes from the assumption that women are inherently incapable of harming their children. That's patent crap and a dangerous crap too.

Congratulations on you baby as well :) 💐🍫

outabout · 28/04/2017 17:52

Changing DD nappies over doing the vacuuming any day of the week for me!

Angelicinnocent · 28/04/2017 17:55

Dh always changed nappies for not DS and DD at home or relatives houses etc but would never do them when out because if there was unisex baby change facilities, frequently not, women always looked at him as though he'd been doing something wrong.

glueandstick · 28/04/2017 18:04

My dad changes my daughter's nappy when she's with them. (Actually mostly leaves it to my mum and provides the distraction). It's an adult tending to a child's needs.

PhyllisNights · 28/04/2017 18:05

I've been so worried and paranoid about my husband changing the babies nappy that I've asked him to practice changing nappies on a dolly.

corythatwas · 28/04/2017 18:12

But Place, you did say:

"I actually would feel weird about him doing it now I've thought about it. Luckily he's lazy so it's not an issue."

So you do think there would be something wrong about him doing it. Could you explain why you think it is lucky that he doesn't want to?

IloveBanff · 28/04/2017 18:16

PhyllisNights I'm assuming that's a joke, but you can never be sure on here.

Andrewofgg · 28/04/2017 18:17

Dh always changed nappies for not [?our?] DS and DD at home or relatives houses etc but would never do them when out because if there was unisex baby change facilities, frequently not, women always looked at him as though he'd been doing something wrong.

Yes, I recognise that.

When I took (ff) DS out alone in nappy-and-bottle days, before I took him into a unisex changing room I asked a passing woman to see if there was a woman bf and ask if she minded - I can only remember two occasions when there was and the answer in both cases was No problem so I went ahead and thanked the woman without looking in her direction. On another occasion when there was nobody in but a woman arrived while DS was having his bottle and looked less than pleased to see me I just sat so that she was not in my lien of sight and got on with it. I was there first!

PhyllisNights · 28/04/2017 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Placeanditspatrons · 28/04/2017 18:21

I don't know. It makes me feel weird. I don't change her in sight of anyone actually. I just don't like it. I don't like her walking round without a nappy on either.

skerrywind · 28/04/2017 18:22

I fucking hate to see combined breastfeeding/changing rooms.

Like eating a meal out of a urinal.

PhyllisNights · 28/04/2017 18:23

IloveBanff, sorry, got confused with threads. My sister in law's friend asked her husband to practice on a baby doll. That's where I got the idea from.

FiftyShadesOfDuckEggBlue · 28/04/2017 18:25

Lol, I didn't change any nappies for the first 2 months! Grin My DP and Mum did everything. I was breastfeeding literally non-stop so I refused to do anything else. DP will still change nappies exclusively when he is at home.

corythatwas · 28/04/2017 18:26

Placeanditspatrons Fri 28-Apr-17 18:21:40
"I don't know. It makes me feel weird."

So what would you do if the thought of you changing your ds made him feel weird?

And rather more to the point, what would happen if you were taken ill one day?

Brownhairbrowneyes · 28/04/2017 18:27

I find this kind of thinking from your friend weird

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