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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dads changing nappies

165 replies

GastonsWife · 28/04/2017 13:56

I have a newborn DD. My friend has a 5 month DD. At my baby shower friend told me that her DH doesn't change their babies nappies because she's a girl. Now DD is here and my DH changes just as many nappies as I do and I think I would find it a definite strain to be breast feeding and doing all the nappies. I never thought of dad's changing girls nappies as an issue. Should I have?

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/04/2017 15:36

He needs to get comfortable, IMO. He is being very unreasonable, and she should tell him to step,up to the mark, otherwise it will damage his relationship with his dd. If he can't do that sort of personal care, he won't be able to take her out on his own until she is fully toilet trained, and he will have missed out on so much by then, that he will not be able to get back.

AuldAlliance · 28/04/2017 15:38

Is he?

Andrewofgg · 28/04/2017 15:39

If he is dodging the dirty work and she is letting him there's two twats who deserve each other. I never had a DD but I have changed nieces' and great-niece's and cousins' daughters' nappies. why the hell not?

HarmlessChap · 28/04/2017 15:41

I changed loads of DD's nappies and DS's, I had them on my own one day a week and we both took turns when we were both around.

I admit that I asked if there was anything I should be doing different with DD than DS as she was the 2nd but at no point was there any feeling uncomfortable.

Sounds very odd to me.

IJustLostTheGame · 28/04/2017 15:42

If she'd had a boy would he change all the nappies?

If DH had trotted that line out at me I'd have thrown one at his head, of the brown variety.

Original poster
GastonsWife · 28/04/2017 15:46

Auld sorry just sported my awful awful grammar. Baby brain must be kicking in!

OP posts:
ShowMeWhatYouGot · 28/04/2017 15:47

Haha sounds like he wanted an excuse to not do the dirty work & your friend fell for it.

Either that or she wouldn't trust him... either way it's wrong.

Hullabaloo31 · 28/04/2017 15:52

We had DD after a DS and I think the conversation went along the lines of:
DP: What do I do different with this one?
Me: Front to back love, always.

And that was that. Your friends are weird!

PeaFaceMcgee · 28/04/2017 15:54

In what way doesn't he feel "comfortable"?

Because it gives him very wrong stirrings? Or he thinks other people will think it does? Or he hasn't a clue about female genitalia? Or he hates female genitalia generally?
Or it's all a bit 'icky' or something?

He needs to get over himself (unless it's no.1 in which case he needs to seek serious help)

MyBeautifulSquid · 28/04/2017 15:55

I know a bloke who never changed his dd's nappies or took her to the loo hen she was too little to go herself ....my friends DP. he has the same excuse reason as your friends dp

Its Just a bollocks lame excuse to be a lazy shit

Emboo19 · 28/04/2017 15:55

I don't get it at all!
My bf changes dd, he also baths her every night when he's here and takes her swimming alone. My dad and both her uncles have changed her too.
And my dad was a stay at home dad when I was young so I'm sure he must have changed me.

My mum used to work in a nursery and they had a male nursery nurse working there, a few parents weren't happy with him changing their children though and a few said their dads didn't even do it. Management had to have a meeting to discuss their concerns.

Trifleorbust · 28/04/2017 15:57

If I tried to prevent my DH from changing our DD's nappies, what would I be saying about him? Confused

BouncyFlouncy · 28/04/2017 16:01

Reminds me of my brothers friend, he has DTD and on day he was at my DMs with one of the DTs, she must have been around 2. She proceeded to fill her nappy and rather than change her he was going to leave her like it 'til they got back home to her mum as 'it feels a bit dodgy changing her as she's a girl!' In the end I ended up changing her as I couldn't see the poor girl suffer (even though I'd never met the child before), and she had horrendous nappy rash all over - no doubt caused by his dickish behavior and nappy changing refusal. I was so Angry and Sad for the DC and hi partner.

BouncyFlouncy · 28/04/2017 16:02

*one day, his partner, grr why can't we have an edit button MNHQ whyyyy

baconandmushrooms · 28/04/2017 16:05

She's crazy. I wouldn't have a baby with someone I couldn't trust to change a nappy.

stoplickingthetelly · 28/04/2017 16:05

So should mums not change baby boys? How odd x

GooseFriend · 28/04/2017 16:09

If a man can't separate caring for a child's genitals from being sexual with an adult woman then he is not fit to be around children, really.

This!

JustAKitten · 28/04/2017 16:12

I think some of you are being harsh. It can be an anxiety thing. I have anxiety and I felt like this the first few times I changed DS. You get over it but it can be daunting and you feel like you're doing something wrong.

haveacupoftea · 28/04/2017 16:13

That is extremely weird.

x2boys · 28/04/2017 16:16

i,m still changing nappies and ds is seven [disabled] maybe i should just tell dh i wont anymore.Hmm

BakedBeeeen · 28/04/2017 16:18

Aha, the rogue apostrophe has been removed from the thread title! Phew, I can breathe again.

gillybeanz · 28/04/2017 16:21

How ridiculous, I bet he just didn't want to do it. Poor child.
I have never heard of anything so daft.
Although when I had ds1 many moons ago, there were articles about modern man and how wonderful, they can change nappies too now Grin. They can feed from a bottle if a woman expresses, and they are willing to do housework, laundry as well as go to work.
Aren't they all so fab Grin Cosmopolitan 1990 Grin

Mrsknackered · 28/04/2017 16:59

I've known people like this. It's so beyond ridiculous. They're the same kind of fruitcakes that think bathing with your kid is wrong though.

Placeanditspatrons · 28/04/2017 17:20

Dh never changes dd. I think he's changed two in 16 months. However that's about the amount he did with ds too so I don't think it's because she's a girl.

I actually would feel weird about him doing it now I've thought about it. Luckily he's lazy so it's not an issue.

Skisunsnow · 28/04/2017 17:30

That's just odd. My DH has probable changed as many of DD's nappies as I have! What's he going to do when he has her on his own?

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