Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

Dads changing nappies

165 replies

GastonsWife · 28/04/2017 13:56

I have a newborn DD. My friend has a 5 month DD. At my baby shower friend told me that her DH doesn't change their babies nappies because she's a girl. Now DD is here and my DH changes just as many nappies as I do and I think I would find it a definite strain to be breast feeding and doing all the nappies. I never thought of dad's changing girls nappies as an issue. Should I have?

OP posts:

RainbowJack · 28/04/2017 14:09

I also know a couple who think like your friend. I don't agree with it. YANBU.

NerrSnerr · 28/04/2017 14:09

I have a 2.5 year old girl still in nappies. If my husband wasn't comfortable changing them they'd never be able to do anything together, or I could never have a lie in etc. Are these men who don't want to do the nappies never going to be in sole charge of the child?

wasonthelist · 28/04/2017 14:09

Dad here - changed far more of DDs nappies than her Mum did as she will readily attest - simply cos I didn't mind dealing with it and her Mum did plenty of other stuff.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops · 28/04/2017 14:17

Weird woman. Wonder whether she is related to the woman at toddler group, whose dds (aged 3 and 4) watched me change my ds's nappy - they had a lot of questions. She later grumbled to another mother that I should not have let her dds watch, because their innocence was now ruined.

IloveBanff · 28/04/2017 14:19

How ridiculous. My husband had no problem with changing our daughter whatsoever and it would never have crossed our minds that any father would. Very weird indeed.

KatharinaRosalie · 28/04/2017 14:21

As her what they will do if the next one is a boy

JanetBrown2015 · 28/04/2017 14:22

My father a doctor changed loads of our nappies in the 1960s even. This is not a new thing.

Mind you my mother kept him from her wages for 10 years when he was studying and I earned 10x what my children's father earned so not surprisingly things were pretty fair. Money gives power. Women go out and out earn men and all is well. I was back expressing milk and working full time after a few weeks and it has worked so very well.

JustAKitten · 28/04/2017 14:22

My dad only ever changed me once because of this!

TheExuberant1 · 28/04/2017 14:22

Your friend is an idiot.

thecatsarecrazy · 28/04/2017 14:23

I have 3 boys should I have left my dh to do all nappies

xStefx · 28/04/2017 14:24

Haha, don't worry your friend is an idiot

Funnyface1 · 28/04/2017 14:24

My dh changes plenty of nappies, he did them all in the early days straight after my section. We had ds first but has been the same with dd, it's not an issue. I don't think there are many who think like your friend.

Vroomster · 28/04/2017 14:25

Well that's totally batshit.

I have two DS's so on that basis I should be leaving their nappies until DH gets home right?

SlumcatMillionaire · 28/04/2017 14:26

Very odd. If he's the one who has decided that I would think either he is a lazy shit or he should not be around children.

mrsmortis · 28/04/2017 14:26

My DH has been the stay at home parent since my DDs were 4 months old. I'd hate to think of them not having had a clean nappy for days on end when I'm travelling for work (5 weeks at one point when DD1 was a year old)...

Minty82 · 28/04/2017 14:27

That's completely bizarre. And a bit creepy. Why on earth would it even cross your mind that providing basic care for your own baby could be inappropriate?!

usefultoken · 28/04/2017 14:27

To be fair my DH said he would feel weird about it if we had a girl, but I suspect in reality he would realise it wasn't weird and get on with it.

PickAChew · 28/04/2017 14:28

If that rule held, I shouldn't have changed my boys' nappies. I wonder how that would have worked?

Northgate · 28/04/2017 14:31

Clearly I've been doing this all wrong!

3 DS's and I've never realised before that I shouldn't be changing their nappies because they're boys and I'm a woman. I'd better take DS3 to see DH at work so he can get a clean bottom before DH finishes work!

SquatBetty · 28/04/2017 14:32

Your friend and her DH are really, really weird. Is her DH not going to wipe their DDs arse when toilet training her either?!

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2017 14:32

God what a weirdo, why should a child's other parent, not be involved in their child's personal care.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/04/2017 14:32

Sounds entirely sensible (I have a 3 day old boy and he's doing some revolting poos).

Yukbuck · 28/04/2017 14:32

That's very odd behaviour. I assume if they have a boy that he will take 9 months off for paternity leave since the mum won't be able to change the babies nappy?
Also to someone who said they dh will put cream on when you're not around but gets you to do it if you're around... really?! What really is the difference? It's a bit worrying that they aren't happy to do it when you're around but will do it when you're not. When you become a parent these are just things we have to deal with.

alltalknobaby · 28/04/2017 14:34

If my DP said changing our DD's nappies made him feel uncomfortable I would have more worries than just nappies tbh.

Mummytobe11 · 28/04/2017 14:36

My DP did ask me to wipe my DDs bits when he was changing his first soiled nappy. I explained what to do and told him he would have to do it when he has her on his own. It's quite sad they are made to feel like that really.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread