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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm crying because of a lost toy - AIBU?

163 replies

Sycam0re · 28/04/2017 13:00

My dd lost her beloved Platypus (Jellycat make) at Disneyland after Easter. She has been extremely upset because she is so attached to him. It has been heartbreaking to see her sadness & I have been crying too - AIBU?

I don't think IABU because it has been so upsetting watching her distress. She even held a 'Goodbye Platypus Ceremony' in her bedroom, getting dressed up in her best clothes, writing an eulogy & singing a sad song before collapsing in tears. I also feel completely responsible as it was me who failed to stop her taking Platypus out to a restaurant to meet the princesses...I tried but gave in to her protest due to being in a hurry, thinking that I could monitor her platypus closely & then getting totally distracted by the princesses.

I have been desperately hunting for a replacement platypus but Jellycat stopped making him in 2009 & I have had no luck on eBay etc. It seems nigh on impossible to locate her platypus (Disneyland has not found it) or to find another one.

It's as if she has been bereaved...

OP posts:
Original poster
Sycam0re · 01/05/2017 22:35

Thank you Princessgenie. Actually I did call Jellycat & they gave me a list of shops that stock Jellycat toys but all the shops said they had no stock left because the platypus was last made in 2009.

Sensible you having several of the same toy. This never occurred to me because it only became clear that platypus was the absolute favourite very gradually, by which time it was out of production.

Luckily, I think we are over the worst. My dd is getting distracted by life/school etc. & has stopped crying. I don't know if she is bottling up her feelings as she is extremely secretive. I feel a bit better now too because she seems less distressed.

Thank you for your support.

OP posts:
Chandlerbing1997 · 02/05/2017 08:42

So sorry to hear that you lost your daughter's platypuss but I do have a story for you (or cautionary tale). My daughter had a penguin (pingu) that she absolutely loved - my husband left him in the trolley at sainsburys and within two minutes he was gone :( We took her out on a special shopping trip to find someone or something to take Pingu's place (after concocting a story about where Pingu had waddled off to) and she chose a polar bear. It started something.....something big....she became obsessed with Polar Bears, we bought every cuddly polar bear we saw and travelled a six hour round trip to a zoo in france just to see a real one. Be upbeat about it = even write a letter to put through the door from Platypus saying he's having a wonderful time and has found his old family - it may seem like fibbing which, of course, it is, but it's damage limitation!

Original poster
Sycam0re · 02/05/2017 15:12

Springflowers11 - my dd doesn't know anything about how upset I was, nor anything about my hunt for her platypus/a replacement. She was very upset, I comforted her & since then we haven't mentioned it. How am I making this worse for her?

SuperHighFly - what do you mean 'pandering' to her? She hasn't been demanding a new toy.

Chandlerbing1997 - thank you for sharing your tale. Amazing that someone should take a child's toy from a shopping trolley! I wonder how old your child was at the time. My 7 year old wouldn't believe any made up stories/letters etc. I've just told her the truth, that someone took her toy. She couldn't believe that someone would be mean enough not to hand it in.

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 02/05/2017 18:03

OP - I mean pandering to her over the treatment for the toy etc. It all seems a bit excessive and over dramatic on your DD's part.

However, I do recall not knowing (or caring maybe??) when my purple velvet Kanga went missing... But I was also very upset when I left behind (mum had to drive over with him) on a rare sleepover at my nana's my small teddy bear.

So I take it back a bit.

paxillin · 02/05/2017 18:44

I've just told her the truth, that someone took her toy.

Once the biggest sadness is over you could add the other truth, this would not have happened had she not taken it out. You said it was the first time you didn't stop her, it was stressful and she is strong-willed. She will need to remember this in her next "strong willed" moment when she wants to take out something else hard or impossible to replace.

SuperFlyHigh · 02/05/2017 21:38

Agreed with Paxillin if she's strong willed and knows this is stressful then this could happen again. Mind you Paxillin I did get upset (not cry though was just angry with myself) over losing a beloved Tiffany earring when I was 32! Grin

The whole funeral ceremony was a bit ridiculous, what happens even someone or something (a pet) does die.

Ever thought of getting drama lessons for her? no seriously

Original poster
Sycam0re · 02/05/2017 22:17

SuperFlyHigh - I guess how upset you are depends on how attached you are to the thing in the first place, be it toy, earring, grandpa or whatever.

Children often act out what they see going on in the adult world - you have a funeral for your beloved grandparent, they have a 'funeral' for their beloved soft toy. It's the same & it's a rehearsal for the real thing. I don't think it's ridiculous although my dd may be more dramatic (imaginative) than some!

Paxillin - I am very much hoping that she will have learned a lesson from this about being strong willed - it was a harsh lesson to learn.

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/05/2017 22:20

The truth isn't that 'someone took her toy'. You're placing the blame on someone else, allowing her to believe someone stole it when that's just not true.

The actual truth is that she lost it, and had she not taken it out, this wouldn't have happened. There's a lesson to be learned here for her.

SuperFlyHigh · 02/05/2017 22:28

What has it.

There are consequences to being more careful with possessions.

OP, I didn't see a funeral or hear of one until I was at least 8 or so I think. I certainly wouldn't have known what to do re a ceremony but I saw hearses and coffins I think. I'm sure I was told to take funerals and death very seriously. I just think her reaction was OTT. My pet mice did die when I was 6 or 7 I think but beside from the getting upset at the vet I don't recall having a funeral for them.

Anyway I'm glad your DD is feeling better about this incident.

Original poster
Sycam0re · 02/05/2017 22:55

Sorry, I don't agree with What. My dd left her toy in a restaurant. It would have been found by another person who could have handed it in to the Manager of the restaurant or the Lost Property office but chose not to. Therefore, it was taken by someone.

Of course there is a lesson to learned - it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't taken it out - but we could have got it back easily if someone had left it where it was or handed it in!!

SuperFlyHigh - my dd has been bereaved & attended a proper funeral so she knows exactly what goes on. I don't think she was being OTT at all.

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/05/2017 23:03

Of course you don't agree. What a surprise Hmm.

GinSwigmore · 02/05/2017 23:32

Harsh. Somebody could have handed it in to City Hall. If they didn't then it got nicked, surely? Or chucked away Sad
www.disneylandparis.fr/services-visiteurs/objets-trouves/
OP, did you call/email/tweet in French?
mobile.twitter.com/DisneylandParis?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

Original poster
Sycam0re · 05/07/2017 17:18

I just wanted to update all those kind mums who gave me so much support when we lost platypus back in April.

My dd has been brave about the loss but there have been moments when she has been very sad & wanted him badly. She is unhappy at school & was wishing she had platypus to comfort her very recently. I had more-or-less given up looking for one because there didn't seem to be any for sale.

Then suddenly, we managed to find a platypus for sale & thanks to the enormous kindness & generosity of the person selling it, my dd now has a platypus to cuddle again.

She is overjoyed to have almost-her-platypus back again. The lady who sold platypus to us is going through a terribly stressful time so we are incredibly grateful that she went out of her way to help us when she is dealing with so much herself.

Needless to say, this platypus is staying at home & will be looked after very carefully.

Thank you again to everyone for your support.

OP posts:
GriseldaChop · 05/07/2017 17:28

Just realised it a Ty one not jellycat, sorry

cashmerecardigans · 05/07/2017 17:31

I really feel for you, that sounds so distressing for her. Can you get in touch and see if they still have it? My son left his beloved beanie baby caterpillar when he was on holiday with XDH when he was about 6. He knew the room number so I emailed the hotel and they posted him back. DS's face when he opened the parcel was just fabulous. He even drew them a picture of said toy on the plane and sent it to them in a card Smile

GlitteryFluff · 05/07/2017 17:55

Ahh so pleased to read one has been found! Love a happy ending Smile

Nikephorus · 05/07/2017 17:59

I took my Snoopy to Disneyland when I was 5. We went on the Matterhorn Bobsleds - sharp corners at speed (or so it seemed to me). I hung onto him so tightly because I was convinced he'd fly overboard & be gone forever. Didn't enjoy the ride at all. The moral is - leave the toy at home / in the hotel room for "a rest because it's looking tired". Less traumatic all round.

Original poster
Sycam0re · 05/07/2017 19:13

Thank you Everyone

So glad that your son got his toy back, cashmerecardigans. And that you didn't lose your Snoopy, Nikephorus. It was unbelievably stressful at the time.

My dd is thrilled to have platypus again (even though it's a new one) & this one will NEVER EVER leave the house. Lesson learnt & we have been exceptionally fortunate that a very kind lady helped us out.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Noseynails · 08/09/2019 19:51

I know this is an old thread but is it this one?

Pikapikachooo · 08/09/2019 19:53

We lost a very loved soft toy and it was surprisingly awful
People may scoff but it was like a taster for loss and bereavement for my DC
He wept , I wept and we got two replacements of eBay
I can’t articulate why it was so sad but it really really was and is Sad

DontCallMeShitley · 08/09/2019 20:15

Google gives me this:

www.jellycat.com/bashful-platypus-bas3pl/

DontCallMeShitley · 08/09/2019 20:16

Sorry, posted too soon, and have just seen your photo, I was about to ask if it was that one.

Aprillygirl · 08/09/2019 20:20

Aww I am filling up myself here reading about your DD's ceremony for her lost platypus OP. That is just so cute yet so so sad. Very glad to see that you managed to find another one for her to love, bless her Smile

Andpopwenttheweasle · 09/09/2019 16:51

You're a genius, I love this :) :)

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