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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm crying because of a lost toy - AIBU?

163 replies

Sycam0re · 28/04/2017 13:00

My dd lost her beloved Platypus (Jellycat make) at Disneyland after Easter. She has been extremely upset because she is so attached to him. It has been heartbreaking to see her sadness & I have been crying too - AIBU?

I don't think IABU because it has been so upsetting watching her distress. She even held a 'Goodbye Platypus Ceremony' in her bedroom, getting dressed up in her best clothes, writing an eulogy & singing a sad song before collapsing in tears. I also feel completely responsible as it was me who failed to stop her taking Platypus out to a restaurant to meet the princesses...I tried but gave in to her protest due to being in a hurry, thinking that I could monitor her platypus closely & then getting totally distracted by the princesses.

I have been desperately hunting for a replacement platypus but Jellycat stopped making him in 2009 & I have had no luck on eBay etc. It seems nigh on impossible to locate her platypus (Disneyland has not found it) or to find another one.

It's as if she has been bereaved...

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 28/04/2017 16:18

This thread is making me well up. Keep looking on eBay. You will probably find one eventually. I got a Mint Velvet dress my dog ruined in the same size. I bought it 5 years ago and it took me about 5 months to get another one. So there is hope Smile

ShatterResistant · 28/04/2017 16:27

DS was very stoical about the loss (the sanctuary people looked for it but it was gone - probably taken off by one of the monkeys smile), but I had a little weep in the privacy of the bathroom that evening as it was another part of his early childhood gone, and he was growing up so fast.

This. DD (nearly 4) recently lost Pink Bunny. She took him EVERYWHERE with her, and one day he just disappeared, no idea where he went. She wasn't that bothered after a couple of days, but I was GUTTED. All that love she poured into him, all those nights he lay tucked up next to her, god, it upsets me just thinking about it. Totally get where you're coming from, OP.

SwirlingCockatoo · 28/04/2017 16:31

Is it a purple platypus op?

TanteJeanne · 28/04/2017 16:37

I do sympathise- my son lost his beloved teddy Poppet when he was young. (We did successfully secretly replace him.)
But it is OTT to talk about grief and compare it to bereavement. My DS was 4 when his dad died and he attended his real funeral. That's bereavement. He is still grieving 6 years on.

gillybeanz · 28/04/2017 16:39

You are making it worse for her.
I lost teddies on holiday and days out as a child and soon got over it as do most people.
YABU and so are others if it happens to them and they try to find replacements.

Just get them used to something else Confused

LloydColeandhisCoconuts · 28/04/2017 16:42

When I was about 18 and my DB was 8, I was eating a tuna sandwich whilst watching a matinee during the summer holidays while my younger siblings were out in the front playing with the neighbours' kids. My DB came in and saw me and asked me to make him one. I said no because he'd already had his lunch and I was enjoying the film. Anyway he got in a mood and then went back out to play. A few days later I was talking to their friends and one of them asked me, "did you get your teddy back?"
I said, "what?"
She repeated, "did you get your teddy back? Your DB put it in the skip the other day."
My DB went up to my bedroom and put my childhood teddy bear in the skip along our road because I didn't make him a tuna fucking sandwich! The skip she was talking about had long gone by that stage and my teddy was gone forever. I was devastated!
It didn't help that a few days later I dreamt that my teddy was on a landfill site reaching out and calling for me!Sad
So yes, I totally get where you are coming from op. You are NBU!

haveacupoftea · 28/04/2017 16:44

God reading this I am wondering if these special toys are doing more harm than good Confused

Mrsknackered · 28/04/2017 16:47

I'd be heartbroken. Yanbu.
I hope platypus is found or a suitable replacement is found Flowers

FreeNiki · 28/04/2017 17:10

She even held a 'Goodbye Platypus Ceremony' in her bedroom, getting dressed up in her best clothes, writing an eulogy & singing a sad song before collapsing in tears.

If she able to do all that then she is not a very young child and you ought not to encourage that or allow her to take a stuffed animal everywhere she goes at that sort of age.

It's just a toy. She wont care pretty soon.

ninnando · 28/04/2017 17:14

Which Disneyland were you at? I happen to know a couple of the Princesses at Eurodisney ! You never know.

KurriKurri · 28/04/2017 17:22

If she able to do all that then she is not a very young child and you ought not to encourage that or allow her to take a stuffed animal everywhere she goes at that sort of age.

What's the 'age rule' on stuffed animals FreeNiki ? Is it a law or something that exists only in your head ?

Why should the OP not allow it ? Will the stuffed toy police arrest her daughter ?

I have no idea what age the OP's DD is, but to suggest that young children don't hold 'funerals' is ridiculous - my kids and my nieces were doing it from easily as young as 4 - they'd been to funerals, they knew what happened, they were copying the ritual. Very common and normal for children to hold 'funerals' for lost and departed loved things.

FreeNiki · 28/04/2017 17:28

She shouldn't be allowed to her irreplaceable stuffed animal everywhere if it means that much to her.

ot stays at home or in the hotel room.

It's the ops own fault her dd has lost her favourite toy by allowing her to take it around disneyland of all places rather than leave it in the hotel.

oklumberjack · 28/04/2017 17:41

So glad you're here to tell us this FreeNiki. The OP told us in her first post that she cried herself because she felt to blame for giving in to her dd nagging, nagging, nagging to bring it.

Still, at least we'll know next time we have that time machine handy.

FreeNiki · 28/04/2017 17:44

Its common sense

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/04/2017 17:57

No, @FreeNiki - it's being smug and unkind.

GaelicSiog · 28/04/2017 17:58

freeniki have you ever tried to get a child attached to a toy out the house without it? Hmm

Wiggleyfingers · 28/04/2017 18:25

Could DC receive a letter from a princess you saw? Perhaps explains that Dear Platypus is being well looked after and loves it so much has decided to stay? Could give some much needed closure?

paxillin · 28/04/2017 18:41

Princess letter might work for a toddler, but they stopped making the toy in 2009 and OP's dd wrote eulogies. She's probably 9 or 10 and won't buy it.

PennyPinwheel · 28/04/2017 18:52

To those who say the precious toy should stay safely in the hotel and not be dragged around - my parents had this approach with my precious blanket when I was a small child, I think about age 4. I was made to leave it in the car to keep it safe while we visited a museum. I remember arguing about it and being told, no, you might lose it, leave it here. I shut it in my lunchbox. The car was stolen while we were in the museum, and I never got the blanket back. I then became very attached to a toy, which 30 years later still goes everywhere with me as I don't trust it to be safe away from me! So I totally get what your poor DD is going through and it is a very real loss.

JustHereForThePooStories · 28/04/2017 19:00

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

user1492362793 · 28/04/2017 19:31

Our cat died when the children were little. It subsequently used to send them emails from pussycat heaven saying it was ok but it would like them to brush their teeth/learn their spellings/eat their vegetables etc. Hmm

Whatsername17 · 28/04/2017 19:34

I'd be upset if dd1 lost her monkey. We bought a replacement when we realised her attachment just in case we ever lost him but the two toys look completely different now. Id try eBay, you might get lucky. To those questioning allowing the child to have a special toy; as a parent you have nonfat in the matter. If they take to something then that is it. It's not a choice.

NewPantsforaNewYear · 28/04/2017 19:38

Off topic but am I the only one wondering what @KingPrawnOkay did to get kicked off the Brits in Disneyland Paris Facebook group?

Pinkjellybeans · 28/04/2017 21:12

This is so sad Sad is this any good for you? www.worldofbears.com/acatalog/Hansa-3250-Platypus-1263.html

Pinkjellybeans · 28/04/2017 21:15

Sorry I just realised it's not the same one!