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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More 'am I being over sensitive'

55 replies

Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 10:42

Had an interview earlier this week and was offered a position. I got some really lovely feedback including that I am a 'wonderful role model.'

Relayed this to DH later who laughed rather unpleasantly I think.

Am I being prickly or should I talk to him about it?

OP posts:
DonaldStott · 28/04/2017 10:45

I think I would laugh if someone relayed that about themselves. He was probably joking.

I think yab a little over sensitive, unless he said something like 'are you fuck a wonderful role model'

RedSkyAtNight · 28/04/2017 10:46

Why do you think it was unpleasant?

My DH would have found the remark amusing and probably tried to make some witty comment!

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 28/04/2017 10:47

Is this part of a wider pattern of laughing unpleasantly, passive-agressive digs etc?

PeaFaceMcgee · 28/04/2017 10:49

Only you can tell whether the laughter was unpleasant or not. Mocking laughter is worrying and I would be asking him if there's something he wants to talk about as he doesn't seem to like me very much!

Chavelita · 28/04/2017 10:50

Honestly, this is one of those situations in which asking the internet makes no sense at all. You know your husband, we don't. You know whether he's supportive of your career, we don't. You know whether he finds other people praising you problematic, we don't. You heard his tone of voice and saw his expression, we didn't. You know whether he has form for undermining you, we don't.

It could be anything from a wry joke to an element in a longterm pattern of undermining and belittling - but no one can tell you.

What I find oddest about this is that you weren't sure of your own response at the time, but that it's bothering you enough to ask an internet forum...? Were you hurt? Did you think he was making a joke?

Joolsy · 28/04/2017 10:51

I'd be quite offended actually, though it's probably something my OH would do Hmm. Sounds similar to something that happened to my friend - her counsellor asked her to get her partner & teenage daughter to write a list of what they think her qualities are, and they both laughed.

Original poster
Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 10:51

I think I was expecting 'well of course you are, darling, look how calmly and serenely you have raised our little moppets'

Yeah I was being over sensitive Hmm Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 10:51

Well don't reply then chav! Honestly! Confused

OP posts:
onalongsabbatical · 28/04/2017 10:57

Pinkandwhite I think you need to read chav's post again, because she's making all the right points!
You must have felt there was more to the remark otherwise you wouldn't be asking, can't you examine your own relationship and his tones of voice and attitudes more deeply and try and see what it is - if anything - that's really upsetting you? Because one un-contextualised comment is pretty meaningless to all of us out here.

Chavelita · 28/04/2017 10:57

Right. I agree you're 'over-sensitive'.

onalongsabbatical · 28/04/2017 10:57

Or one un-contextualised laugh, rather.

onalongsabbatical · 28/04/2017 10:58

Chav Grin

Chavelita · 28/04/2017 10:58

Sorry, that was meant to have a Grin after it to make it plain that I'm sure you're a lovely role model to your moppets.

UppityHumpty · 28/04/2017 11:00

To be fair I would have laughed too. How does the interviewer know you're a good role model? They've only met you that day!

redshoeblueshoe · 28/04/2017 11:02

Yep your response to chav shows you are over sensitive

Original poster
Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 11:14

Well they didn't - I've been working there a while, the interview was for a slightly different role.

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 28/04/2017 11:18

Op

You are over sensitive- demonstrated by your response to other posts!

PeaFaceMcgee · 28/04/2017 11:21

Oh fgs. Why does this totally pointless and horrible ripping-apart happen so much on MN?

OP - congratulations on the job offer, it was a lovely comment to give you. Are you taking the job?

Rufus27 · 28/04/2017 11:24

I think Chav's comments were quite fair.

Rufus27 · 28/04/2017 11:26

Sorry, post too soon.
OP I too can be over-sensitive, so I do empathise. Have you looked into getting some support, CBT etc? It's something I'm considering as I've realised I spend far too much of my life over thinking!

Botanicbaby · 28/04/2017 11:27

OP I think you are indeed being 'prickly' about it, to use your expression.

Agree with chav that only you can answer whether your husband was being jokey or rude to you on this one!

I hope it was the former and congrats on the job and the lovely feedback.

Original poster
Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 11:36

I don't think I need CBT because of a post on here!

I am not offended or anything but I genuinely don't know why someone would take time and effort to tell you your post is pointless as that's also pointless - BUT, I'm not offended by it! :)

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 28/04/2017 11:38

I agree with chav

Hassled · 28/04/2017 11:44

I think regardless of the relationship history, if anyone I was close to laughed when I said I'd been described as a wonderful role model I'd be bloody upset. Because the laugh implies they don't think you are a wonderful role model - you're either a mediocre one or a crap one. It's unpleasant and unnecessary - all he needed to say was "that's really nice" or "and so you are" (unless obviously you're routinely shooting up in front of your kids :o) .

Wedrine4me · 28/04/2017 11:50

I'd laugh too and take the opportunity to gently take the piss.

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