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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

More 'am I being over sensitive'

55 replies

Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 10:42

Had an interview earlier this week and was offered a position. I got some really lovely feedback including that I am a 'wonderful role model.'

Relayed this to DH later who laughed rather unpleasantly I think.

Am I being prickly or should I talk to him about it?

OP posts:

Original poster

Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 12:01

I suppose it was because I had been feeling quite pleased with myself and I felt I got treated like a slightly boastful child rather than having a nice moment but really it does not matter.

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 28/04/2017 12:10

I'd probably have laughed too, it's the believing the hype and then relaying it. "A wonderful role model "is rather cringe.

I've just had my appraisal this morning, if I said to my husband seriously "my consulting and interpersonal skills are simply excellent", he'd hit the deck laughing, probably because when it comes to him they are not so much, plus there is an insinuation that if they are at work then I am thinking they are everywhere else and we all know that's bullshit, how we behave at work is not always how we behave in our personal time 😂

Wedrine4me · 28/04/2017 12:12

In fact I'd laugh at myself when telling my DH that "they said i was a wonderful role model"and take the piss out of myself too.

Bluntness100 · 28/04/2017 12:13

Yes, I'd probably laugh at myself too to be honest.

PeaFaceMcgee · 28/04/2017 12:37

What a shame though that we put ourselves down and others do the same - no matter how gently or well intentioned.

Why not accept positive praise for what it is?

LiarLawyer · 28/04/2017 12:44

Your husband knows you very well and he also knows your silly side (if you have one) and he was probably laughing at your silly side your prospective employers are not allowed to see (yet!). So he was probably thinking to himself; wait till they see your silly side!

Greyponcho · 28/04/2017 12:45

I'd have said it depends - if you're my boss then it's a million miles from the truth.
In all honesty, I would've thought it's just a really odd thing to say as feedback if the interview was external, but it's an internal post.
Are you sure your DP was actually listening and not thinking of a funny meme he saw whilst on the loo earlier?
Congrats on the job & yes, I'd be offended/hurt too

Bluntness100 · 28/04/2017 12:53

Why not accept positive praise for what it is?

I think it's the difference between accepting it and being pleased about it, which we all secretly are, and the then relaying it to others like we believe it, especially since in our private lives we may be different. The insinuation from the husband laughing would be he doesn't perceive the op to be a great role model in their personal lives, maybe more just a normal person rather than mother Teresa's twin sister.

Agree though we should be able to stand up and boast without it being perceived as the perfect piss take opportunity. As humans we tend to frown upon boasting, be it from a child or an adult, so it's the way it's delivered, we can relay positive praise in a humble manner, or in a boastful way, it's the latter than tends to be laughed at and frowned on.

Wedrine4me · 28/04/2017 12:55

What a shame though that we put ourselves down and others do the same - no matter how gently or well intentioned. Why not accept positive praise for what it is?

You can be pleased for yourself and for others without being all serious about it.

ThePants999 · 28/04/2017 13:49

[b]Chav's[/b] post was excellent, and if you think it was pointless, then I guess you've (by definition) missed the point.

Pigface1 · 28/04/2017 14:15

blossoms, I could have the wrong poster but I have a feeling you were really mean the other day to a poster who asked how much freedom other people's children of the same age have.

If so, it's amazing how sensitive some people are about their own feelings...

picklemepopcorn · 28/04/2017 14:18

I'm inexperienced in a role, which I decided to leave after 8 months. The clients were sad, saying I was the best xxx they'd ever had. I told DH, who said 'Is that true?!'. I challenged him good and proper.

You know your DH. It has upset you, so it was insensitive of him to say it. As he did, then he should apologise. My DH is just clueless and has to have things explained to him on a regular basis.

picklemepopcorn · 28/04/2017 14:21

It's a shame we can't share positive feedback which we are pleased with, without being sneered at for it.

Original poster

Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 14:52

I do hope you reported my meanness then Pig ? :)

OP posts:

Original poster

Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 14:54

Just checked and no post has been deleted so I guess it wasn't as mean as all that, since I'm sure if you'd found it so mean that you felt the need to stalk follow me round the boards you would have reported it.

OP posts:

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 28/04/2017 15:42

I'm inexperienced in a role, which I decided to leave after 8 months. The clients were sad, saying I was the best xxx they'd ever had. I told DH, who said 'Is that true?!'. I challenged him good and proper.

XXX? How intriguing. Is the missing word "lay"?

Original poster

Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 28/04/2017 15:52

Funnily enough I can't accept the job anyway so it does not matter!

OP posts:

NavyandWhite · 28/04/2017 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wedrine4me · 28/04/2017 17:30

You do seem a little touchy op.

haveacupoftea · 28/04/2017 17:45

I'd laugh if someone said this to DP thinking they've never seen him after a night on the piss or whatever. We tend to see our partners very candidly including all their many faults. It doesn't mean he doesn't love and respect you though.

picklemepopcorn · 28/04/2017 18:10

Oldbollocks, nothing so intriguing! Just a bit more outing than your average job. Kind of specialist admin role. Often done, in that place at least, by incompetents it would seem!

No need for DH to sound quite so incredulous, though...

Collaborate · 29/04/2017 07:20

Congrats OP for your thread making @mumsnetmadness!!

twitter.com/mumsnet_madness/status/857983292204830720

Original poster

Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 29/04/2017 07:59

Oh no, how embarrassing!

OP posts:

Olddear · 29/04/2017 08:04

I agree with chav.

Lostthefairytale · 29/04/2017 08:21

So we now need to twitter account to further put the boot into people? Because AIBU isn't harsh enough?!

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