To be embarrassed by my friend?

[MrPoppersPenguins]

Whenever we meet for coffee she has her 2yo with her and proceeds to whip out snacks and drinks (for the child) brought from home. These aren't even subtle... think large pastries, sandwiches, yoghurts etc

I'm cringing in the coffee shop hoping the staff don't notice. This week they clearly did (although they didn't say anything). She doesn't have special dietary needs so could eat food from the cafe. My friend isn't struggling for money (she's relatively well off). I'm really embarrassed!! Am I BU to think you don't take your own picnic to a coffee shop?? She does buy herself a drink though.

Some lovely attitudes to toddlers in public spaces here .

Getting out a whole packed lunch seems a bit much but I've never given a second thought to giving dd some fruit or a breadstick while I have a coffee or whatever. Do people really give a shit??

foxer
Not so much of giving a shit. I just think whipping out a fully pack up for your kid is a bit cheeky. Wouldn't be fuming or anything but would think it's odd.

Snacks for toddlers, no issue at all.
Food for weaning babies, no issue at all.

Some lovely attitudes to toddlers in public spaces here

But, foxer, I think this is the nub of it. A cafe isn't a public space, it's a private business. The park is a public space, so is the library. But the local branch of Costa is owned and run by Whitbread plc. They are in the business of selling coffees and food, at a profit, for the benefit of their shareholders. Our local cafe is the livelihood of the lady who pays the rent and the rates and whose full time job it is to run it.

So, yes - you're right - nobody does really care if you give your toddler a carrot stick to keep him amused while you're having a coffee with a friend. But if you're sitting at a table for four with two children who are eating what is effectively a packed lunch when you are in the premises of a private business which sells food, then you're being very rude. And if your toddler doesn't like the food and drink that they sell there, then it's up to you to take him somewhere else where he does.

That said, people are (at least in my experience) pretty indulgent of small children. One of mine was being a bit of a pain the other week because the place we were in didn't have the exact sandwich she wanted; one of the staff approached me and offered to make her a piece of toast. So I think that 90% of the time, allergies excepted, it's down to people being cheapskate and wanting to free ride off these cafés and use their facilities without paying for them. And - back to my earlier point - they are not public spaces or public facilities but are a business there to make a profit.

Haha! I had to come back to this thread. I'm sitting in a child friendly independent cafe, with a child menu and two tables away a three year old is sitting with a large Tupperware tub full of breakfast brought from home. At the bottom of my the menu is written "If there is something you would like but can't see on the menu just ask".

I only feed my little girl organic food and would be unlikely to find this in any cafe

Then don't go to a cafe with your pfb, is the rather obvious answer.

Some lovely attitudes to toddlers in public spaces here

I have lovely attitudes to any toddlers who aren't screaming and running around. And even when they are, the attitude is directed at their parents.