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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Brother-in-Law

57 replies

Callalily1234 · 27/04/2017 23:02

Live in village about 10 mins walk from DH's B + SIL. They spend most of time abroad but BIL comes back regularly to his house: 10 mins away from us.
Despite having home in village he turns up almost everyday "to play the piano" [he has an electronic keyboard in his home] and then expects to stay for supper. No warning at all. Just turns up. If door not locked he just walks straight into our home. Has adult daughter and son with families living locally.
When he needs a wee he goes in our drive (we have 4 loos in the house).
AIBU to want to stop all this?

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 27/04/2017 23:03

Grim. Lock the door.

Tapandgo · 27/04/2017 23:08

Gross - you and your DH need to tell him it is unacceptable and needs to stop .........and lock the door

Original poster
Callalily1234 · 27/04/2017 23:14

Thanks for support: I agree!

OP posts:
LilacSpatula · 27/04/2017 23:16

Why does he piss on your drive? Eurgh!

Bunbunbunny · 27/04/2017 23:20

Go round his and wee on his keyboard Grin

And lock your door!

LexieLulu · 27/04/2017 23:21

What the hell? Why does he wee in your drive? Does he know you know?

Hand him some bleach and a bucket

Shewhomustgowithoutname · 28/04/2017 00:07

I would have presumed that BIL is used to indoor plumbing! Heavens what a thing to do. Do you have children who could see this. Do you have any neighbours who could see him. Totally disgusting thing to do. I would not want someone who had so little idea of civilised behaviour in my house.
Tell DH you are locking the door and will not let BIL in until he can behave in a decent manner.
He is totally gross.

Freyanna · 28/04/2017 00:43

He wee's in your drive and expects to be fed every night!

He's not your pet dog.

Why doesn't he go to his adult children's houses?

I think your DH is going to have to have a 'wee' word with him.

Elfieselfie · 28/04/2017 00:50

Fuckinghell that's gross!

PerspicaciaTick · 28/04/2017 01:06

I was going to say that perhaps he gets a bit lonely - then I saw that he wees on your drive. No amount of loneliness excuses that.

FrostyPopThePenguinLord · 28/04/2017 01:19

Do like my father does for cats that crap in his garden and turn the hose on him/water pistol.....might at least wash some of the piss away....

highinthesky · 28/04/2017 01:23

Is he fully compos mentis?

WildKiwi · 28/04/2017 06:13

He wees on your drive? Why?!! (I probably don't actually want to know...) You're definitely not being unreasonable about wanting to stop that!

(You're not unreasonable wanting to stop the rest of it either, but the driveway thing really stands out...)

FrancisCrawford · 28/04/2017 06:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ceto · 28/04/2017 06:43

So how does your husband react to all this?

SenoritaViva · 28/04/2017 06:48

No, some warning about supper and peeing in the drive. Urgh.
Look at him and say 'time to leave we're having supper and there isn't enough for you too'.

'You can't come and play the piano tonight, DH and I are planning a long session on it and I won't have time to wipe it down for daaaays'

DearMrDilkington · 28/04/2017 06:49

Why does he wee on your drive?!

SenoritaViva · 28/04/2017 06:53

Session = raunchy sex session, not plinky plonk playing...

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 28/04/2017 06:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 28/04/2017 06:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 28/04/2017 06:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reow · 28/04/2017 06:56

How fucking weird.

Does he have all of his marbles? I'd be going out for dinner a couple of nights a week and locking the door when I'm home. Get him out of the habit.

Fucking bonkers.

highinthesky · 28/04/2017 13:16

Look at him and say 'time to leave we're having supper and there isn't enough for you too'.

This is very inhospitable (I'd go without myself to accommodate a guest) but makes the point. The only reason BIL does it repeatedly is because he always does! So from tolerating all to nothing?

What's described is not normal behaviour. D/w DH and put the onus on him to do the necessary with BIL

8misskitty8 · 28/04/2017 15:07

For starters , Passing on your drive is disgusting and I'd be telling him as well as handing him bleach and a bucket.
Just wandering into your home and using your things is rude as is expecting to be fed.
You might just have to take a deep breath and tell him that.

What have you said to him when he pees on your drive which as well as being disgusting is an arrestable offence? What is your DH saying about this, it's his brother .

Allthebestnamesareused · 28/04/2017 15:19

Lock the door.

Throw a bucket of water over him every time he wees on the drive.