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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can I safely assume she's a lesbian now? Or shall I give up my dream and leave well alone

129 replies

nowimqueer · 27/04/2017 15:45

Absolutely beautiful woman joined our team four months ago. I was friendly but she made me so nervous I kept my distance a little bit so I didn't blush and make an idiot of myself. She was clearly not lesbian. She's incredibly feminine
-and has acrylic nails-.

However she made an effort to be friendly and I decided to just make a new friend in work. She added me on Facebook last night and OMG!!!

On 'interested in' it says Women. She's been to every gay pride march since 2007
-not that I checked her Facebook that far back-

She volunteers at a LGBT charity for HIV positive gay men.

She doesn't seem to have had any girlfriends but she has said previously she's never had a relationship as she's never met the one and is fussy!

She's shared a poster that says 'when people say I don't look gay. Sorry I forgot to shower in rainbows and sprinkles this morning'.

So can I now assume she's lesbian? Or could she just be very involved in gay rights?

And how far out of your league does someone need to be before you don't even bother trying.

For reference, she looks like Megan Fox. I look like Melissa Ferrick!

OP posts:

Welshrainbow · 27/04/2017 20:43

Has she added anyone else from work on Facebook OP or are you the only one? If it's only you then get on and ask her if she wants a drink after work one night, Melissa ferrick is cute, I'd have said yes in my single days. Sounds like she is at least interested in women although I admit acrylic nails would have thrown me too, especially if they are those long stiletto ones, I'm afraid they wouldn't be coming near me lol. I don't think I know any lesbians with acrylic nails, I'm a little surprised there seems to be so many according to this thread lol, mine are fairly long and painted but I'm fussy and like my wife's short

expatinscotland · 27/04/2017 20:43

'She may not want a relationship with a work colleague.'

True, but surely a casual coffee or drink will reveal more details.

expatinscotland · 27/04/2017 20:45

' I'm a little surprised there seems to be so many according to this thread lol, mine are fairly long and painted but I'm fussy and like my wife's short grin'

Tell her to post a thread about it just to see the LTB's .

ginflumpsandzebraprint · 27/04/2017 20:47

Frieda that made me chuckle, my mil's first conversation with me sarted with her showing off her new Birkenstock's
She is also a big fan of flannel and at 86+ rocks the look.

heads off to break the news to dh >>

Welshrainbow · 27/04/2017 20:47

Tell her to post a thread about it just to see the LTB's grin.

whirlycurly · 27/04/2017 20:57

I'm clenching a bit reading this.

Go for it, op.

MamaHanji · 27/04/2017 20:58

Mellisa Ferrick is sexy.

SocksBoatsAndQats · 27/04/2017 21:21

I've spent the entirety of this thread staring at my nails, they're quite short (but I work in healthcare so no one at work would appreciate talons).

frieda909 · 27/04/2017 21:58

Ooooh dear ginflumps. My mum is also a fan of the old Birkenstocks, and I'm afraid she left my dad for my godmother aged 46. Better prepare DH for some unexpected news any day now.

All jokes aside*, OP you sound lovely and I hope you go for it! You never know until you know

(*apart from the part about my mum and godmother, that was actually true...)

crumpet · 27/04/2017 22:09

Well I have just nearly woken the children up by snorting at amusedbush's post at 16:50 "Not classical guitar though". Best quote of the thread.

expatinscotland · 27/04/2017 22:23

'I've spent the entirety of this thread staring at my nails, they're quite short (but I work in healthcare so no one at work would appreciate talons).'

Mine have always been very short and they're only painted with DD2 insists on painting them. I've always worked where typing is key - legal secretary, medical secretary, paralegal, and type at 98wpm when last tested - and I was a rock climber for a long time and now, I still do a lot of outdoor stuff.

I've worn Birks since the mid-80s, Tevas and DM's, too. Flannel shirts and fleeces.

What will the neighbours think!? Especially when they find out I've seen Ani DeFranco and Melissa Etheridge live?

RedBullBlood · 27/04/2017 22:28

Op can take heart from the nearly identical thread a couple of months back where lesbian op knew for sure that the object of her desire was definitely not gay. Even though they were best friends and worked together. Except she was! And fell into op's arms at the first expression of interest from op and all was sunshine and confetti and many happy tears from a whole load of over invested MNers. So there you go...

expatinscotland · 27/04/2017 22:28

'You never know until you know '

EXACTLY! Bit of casual conversation, 'How about a drink after work?' I've seen it work here before .

MovingtoParadise · 27/04/2017 22:34

Maybe she's just really good with her tongue

expatinscotland · 27/04/2017 22:38

Arrgh! The tongue, if she's attracted to the OP, if she wants to pursue anything . . . until the OP talks to her more.

user1487175389 · 27/04/2017 22:38

She's not a lesbian because she has fake nails?! Wtf?

Is this going to be another Mills & Boon style whirlwind lesbian romance? Because it's been a while since someone tried out one of those on here...

Bloomed · 27/04/2017 22:41

There's always fisting.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 27/04/2017 22:41

Well...she added you to Facebook.

I'm just going to leave that there...

expatinscotland · 27/04/2017 22:59

'There's always fisting.'

That can go far worse than a rogue nail if it's not done properly. Eek!

Bloomed · 27/04/2017 23:03

I can imagine expat. I wanted to post something I would never say IRL. My convent education is wearing off finally ...

expatinscotland · 27/04/2017 23:20

Oh, mine wore off when I was 14 and realised what a load of codswallop it was . 'Masturbation is a mortal sin, and even thinking about masturbation is a mortal sin.' Well, hell, then I may as well masturbate and get orgasm out of it, in for a penny, in for a pound!'

Bloomed · 27/04/2017 23:25

I've a lot of ground to make up. But I will keep my nails short

expatinscotland · 28/04/2017 00:03

And if God created us in his image, then he must have created the faculty for multiple orgasm in the design. The shame never sat with me, probably because it's mostly misogynist, homophobic bullshit designed to control people by trying to make them feel guilty for being human beings, which is utterly stupid because we can't be anything else.

I remember this girl in my homeroom, I'll call her Shawna. I was still a virgin when I met her, but she was having sex with her boyfriend. 'You do?' I asked. 'I enjoy it! If you want to, try it and see if you like it,' she said unapologetically, and that always stuck with me, having only played around. Yeah, that felt good, so why not everything else, too?

veers wildly off topic, apologies

UppityHumpty · 28/04/2017 00:07

Possibly. Or she might be like me - romantically interested in men/women but grey-sexual with women.

amusedbush · 28/04/2017 10:09

I have one word for you - Plectrum

Everyone I know who plays classical guitar keeps the nails on one hand long to play. Plectrums only used by "rock" guitarists.

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