DH has been sprayed with red dye!

[Mojit0]

This morning DH was running along the Thames towpath as he often does. He was running quite fast as he's training. There is an area where the path narrows a bit and he had caught up and was running behind a woman. He thought she moved to one side to let him pass, so he ran up behind her, at which point she screamed and suddenly sprayed him with a spray! Most of it got on his t-shirt but some of it also also got on his neck and lower face, though he didn't realise at the time. She screamed at him to get away from her and then ran back the other way. He was saying to her, "It's ok" etc, but he said she was so freaked out and looked so terrified he didn't try and follow her.
Now he has a zig-zag pattern of red up his neck and on the left side if his face and it really won't come off. He went into work and someone told him its probably a dye that the police use to mark criminals! I looked on google and it looks as if you can buy a red spray dye that won't wash off for 7 days! If it's this, it's a nightmare as he has to go to China on business tomorrow.
DH feels bad that she was so scared and her reaction actually scared him. He thinks maybe he should have held back, but he thought she was letting him overtake her. I think her reaction was a bit extreme though -AIBU? I run down that path frequently (although not at 6.30am) and I have never heard of anything like this.

No, I don't think he was asking to be assaulted.

I think that a woman who acted in self defence (most likely), who by the account we have looked terrified, should not be getting such a slating.

If she had prevented herself of being raped, would you all be saying the same things that she shouldn't have used the spray?

Hindsight is bloody brilliant.

Oh for goodness sake how is that boasting?!

I got seen by a counsellor the same day I took an overdose. Am I boasting to?

Of course not why on earth would you say that?

Asthma, this woman cannot spray everyone who passes her on the towpath because she is afraid she will be raped.

I've looked at the website for this (or a similar) spray. According to the manufacturer, it is 'legal'. I'm fairly certain that doesn't mean that its use is legal in all circumstances. It just means that it isn't, in itself, harmful. House paint isn't illegal, but that doesn't mean that I'm allowed to pour a tin over your car.

The manufacturer advertises the spray as being suitable for joggers, able to be used up to 4m and useful
to 'deter' attack. So, you could feasibly just spray everyone who comes near you, to 'deter' them. It's insane.

OP, if your husband does go to the police, he should do so for the purpose of reporting that he was attacked. You can't just spray people with unknown substances (to them, and probably to you) because you feel nervous. What if he had an allergy?

The company who produce this spray have a lot to answer for, both in terms of advising their customers what's 'legal' and in implying that it's a normal thing to have. It's not.

Another option given she is clearly very nervous (and I do have sympathy for someone who has reasons for that!) is not to run somewhere she doesn't feel safe.

Have you never crossed over to the other side of the road because you thought you were being followed by a weirdo?

How is that comparable to spraying something in someone's face?

I've never crossed the road to avoid a weirdo but I have to avoid groups of noisy drunken people which I find make me feel unsafe. I've never assaulted anyone though, even when I can't avoid them & feel incredibly uncomfortable.

OP's husband wasn't offended by the suggestion he could be a rapist he was assaulted.

tabby
Using your keys between your knuckles is absolutely NOT classed as an offensive weapon and is in fact recommended by all the self-defence and safety awareness professionals I have spoken to, police officers included.

Contact the police. I wonder if they have a way to get it off?

For the people saying she was "just" scared... Seriously...?

Next time I'm just scared I'll just punch a person, right? I mean, spraying people if they attack you is legal. Punching people if they attack you is also self-defense... So, me being scared means it's fine to punch people jogging behind me/trying to pass by me? No.

I understand that this woman most likely had a bad experience.

I myself had them. And there have been cases of people walking closely behind me (for examply in stores) and brushing my back etc (not on purpose I think. Just in an aisle with buggies etc) and I was really really scared/frightened.

I also understand the people saying...: "but what IF the OP's husband had been an attacker, better safe than sorry, right?"

But that's not an excuse. I can't just kick all dogs that come near DD for fear that they may bite her. Well, actually, that may end up provoking the dog and it could end up defending itself, as in biting me... But I think it's obvious what I'm trying to say. Better safe than sorry does stop where someone else's rights and freedom begins.

If she's that scared I suggest she carries angle wings or something similar with her. If she mistakes an innocent for an attacker nobody gets hurt... (and they're still surprisingly useful.)

OP, how horrible for your DH. Please update us when he's spoken to the police.

I see that some posters are understanding of the attacker that because she might have felt threatened (and remember, there is absolutely no evidence that she felt threatened) she cannot be blamed for doing what she did.

I would imagine none of those would afford the same consideration to OP's husband in the event that next time on a narrow towpath he comes across a woman reaching in to a bag he pushes her in to the canal in an "act of self-defence."

I think I'm 5ft10, 18 and size 6.

Doesnt make it true.

No more than it makes it true that the woman committed assault. Suppose I had been there and she had run by me and I had thought she was going to mug me. But she hadn't touched me, she'd done exactly as the OP DH did. Would that mean I could punch her? Stab her? Spray her with paint?

No. It doesn't = she assasulted the OP DH and she was in the wrong. I may be wrong but I think it was actuly a battery ?

DioneTheDiabolist

As I have just said, how do you know that she is spraying every man who passes her? This may have been the first, and only, time she's ever felt the need to use the spray.

That's garbled my phone hates. me

No more than if the woman thought she was going to be assaulted.

Sorry should proof read tiny screen and it is cracked and a general pain to use.

The OP's husband should be free to run without being assaulted by lunatics. End of.

Lost this is the second time I've gone to counselling and the first time I had to wait 6 weeks for an assessment, I've been suffering for 3-4 years, but had to stop originally as my therapist was reassigned to a different area. My original comment was wrote wrongly as I do not believe it would take someone over a year for counselling, I could be wrong but from my experience as a user and from general conversations with friends who are counsellors that's a very exaggerated estimate, but I hope your DD can get the help she needs

Put

I don't see how me stating essentially that as a non emergency self referral could get help so quickly that I believe if this woman is in need of help so badly it would be more of an emergency, thus quicker access and it wouldn't take over a year.

But sure YAY I NEED TQO RETURN TO COUNSELLING IM SO HAPPY MY MENTAL HEALTH IS SO GREAT THAT I HAVE TO BRAG

If she's that scared I suggest she carries angle wings or something similar with her.

Yeah, I wish i had some of those wings the night I got raped. FFS.

I can be a paranoid runner at times, especially when my anxiety is bad, so I plan running routes that are in open busier places.

If someone is so scared then a tow path at that time of day surely isn't going to be a good location for a relaxing run?

I know it's a bit grim but I've used nail polish remover to get persistent marks off before.

usernumbernine You contradicted yourself in that post.

Still Do you not understand that not everyone gets better with counselling of any variety? Some require specialist trauma services - those are few and far behind.

It's great that you've been able to access counseling quickly, but for many it is not the case. Particularly, men, women, and children who have been traumatised. So perhaps be a bit more mindful when you post alluding to the fact that accessing psychological help and support is easy.

cross-posted.

Non emergency self referrals won't touch people with trauma in London. They are too worried about retraumatising them.

Definitely report her to the police. What she did constitutes a criminal offence and she needs to know that it's not acceptable to assault people regardless of your mental state.
Fair enough, if she deployed it whilst being physically attacked but that's not the case and he's an innocent guy out for a run like thousands of others.

The OP has confirmed that her husband would usually be alert to a woman's concerns. This time for whatever reason, he didn't display his usual sensitivity. That's a luxury that the woman didn't have. Women don't ever get a pass for letting their guard down. In this instance he ended up confused, inconvenienced and no doubt embarrassed. She ended up terrified.

Women merit special consideration because of the sheer extent of the violence committed against them by men. That isn't special treatment, it's fairness. Individual men might feel offended by that but that's the price they need to pay as members of society to ensure that women are protected. Being offended is a lesser price to pay than being attacked.

If she had prevented herself of being raped, would you all be saying the same things that she shouldn't have used the spray?

Except this never happened. What did happen is that an innocent man was assaulted.