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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH has been sprayed with red dye!

767 replies

Mojit0 · 26/04/2017 17:00

This morning DH was running along the Thames towpath as he often does. He was running quite fast as he's training. There is an area where the path narrows a bit and he had caught up and was running behind a woman. He thought she moved to one side to let him pass, so he ran up behind her, at which point she screamed and suddenly sprayed him with a spray! Most of it got on his t-shirt but some of it also also got on his neck and lower face, though he didn't realise at the time. She screamed at him to get away from her and then ran back the other way. He was saying to her, "It's ok" etc, but he said she was so freaked out and looked so terrified he didn't try and follow her.
Now he has a zig-zag pattern of red up his neck and on the left side if his face and it really won't come off. He went into work and someone told him its probably a dye that the police use to mark criminals! I looked on google and it looks as if you can buy a red spray dye that won't wash off for 7 days! If it's this, it's a nightmare as he has to go to China on business tomorrow.
DH feels bad that she was so scared and her reaction actually scared him. He thinks maybe he should have held back, but he thought she was letting him overtake her. I think her reaction was a bit extreme though -AIBU? I run down that path frequently (although not at 6.30am) and I have never heard of anything like this.

OP posts:
AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 26/04/2017 21:16

You have assumed the route was what made her anxious. You have no idea if that is the case. It may have been the man's behaviour.

FFS, she was anxious enough when she set off to carry the spray with her. Believe it or not, most of us do not consider that an essential piece of running kit.

OnionKnight · 26/04/2017 21:16

I'm not sure what is so difficult to understand, he wasn't running towards her but he naturally caught up with her because he was faster. If I walking behind someone and I catch up with them because I'm walking faster than them, I wasn't walking towards them.

Can't believe I've just typed that.

PrivatePike · 26/04/2017 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1492528619 · 26/04/2017 21:21

Your poor DH, it must have been a shock.

I'm in two minds, one I empathise with this poor woman who obviously has very severe social anxiety to even carry such a weapon.

On the other hand, she has premeditatedly readied the spray to attack him with it, in that amount of time it would be established he was only trying to get past. I'm really worried about the legality of this if it has the ability to stay on someone's skin for seven days... what if he had an allergy. More to the point WTF was she doing jogging on the towpath at that time if she was so frightened?

I'm another one who strongly recommends calling the police, OP. Something sounds a little amiss. Does he jog there regularly? Does he wear any particularly expensive running gear/watch/headphones? Was he followed home if he goes regularly? You hear so often about people being targeted that it leads you to wonder could this be a new ruse.

Get him to shake up his routine when he gets home, different routes, different times, probably being the paranoid wife of a copper but be careful.

SuperBeagle · 26/04/2017 21:24

Some of the responses on this thread are insane. The guy was assaulted. It should be reported as such. You don't just get to decide to preempt danger and spray someone in the face for minding their own business.

She's not the victim here.

ZilphasHatpin · 26/04/2017 21:27

The term 'running towards' implies that the runners were moving nearer to each other,

No that would involve the words "they were running towards each other" in this case he was running towards her, he was far from her and then he was close to her. This is only achieved by running towards her.

is it that because women are the most likely victims of sex crimes that men should expect or accept being assaulted?confused

No. It was a response to someone asking if men should accept being assault as the price of living in a rape culture society. I was pointing out it was nowhere near the level of assault that women pay for living in that society.

Believe it or not, most of us do not consider that an essential piece of running kit.

I am genuinely very glad to hear that. I hope one day all women feel that way.

tdm1 · 26/04/2017 21:28

When South African police sprayed dye on protesters in the 80s (so that they could identify and arrest them at their leisure), ketchup and coca cola were helpful!

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 26/04/2017 21:29

I have recently started running. If I'm running with my husband we hit the park and sometimes the woods. If I'm alone I stick to the local pavements with row upon row of houses, shops and loads of people. I don't carry any form of spray, and I only have one ear bud in so I can hear what is happening around me. From the OPs post it is apparent that her DH was assaulted by a woman who, if that scared, should not be running alone on a towpath. If she is nervous she should do what I do and choose somewhere safer.

IloveBanff · 26/04/2017 21:30

user1492528619 the OP has spoken to the police.

Hulababy · 26/04/2017 21:32

Regards making the red less obvious - do you have any colour correction concealer? Would a green one help to reduce the redness at all?

Elphaba99 · 26/04/2017 21:33

Buggeroffandgooddaytoyou (what a great name) - I agree.

Yettilegs11 · 26/04/2017 21:35

I think this could be assault- by the older lady.

OP try the anti-bacterial hand gel, this is the only thing I have found that gets those glitter tattoos off the kids skin.

I hope you manage to get it off

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/04/2017 21:35

Blistory

If you wish to leave the thread, please feel free.

I will continue to comment as I see fit,

In this case the point that you are making and have continually made on this thread is that he deserved it because he should have done more to prevent it.

Victim blaming.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 26/04/2017 21:35

In this country people are innocent until proven guilty. So we have to assume OP's DH is innocent of any wrong doing and that he was sprayed (assaulted) for no reason other than running along the same towpath as the woman, and due to the nature of said towpath, got closer than she liked. I frequently use towpaths and they are narrow, so I expect to be passed fairly closely by (often male) runners. He is the only victim here. The woman would only be seen as "defending herself" if he had attacked her or threatened to attack her, not by simply making her jump and running past her whilst being male.

GraceGrape · 26/04/2017 21:36

How shocking for your DH. Good on him for going in and carrying on with his presentation.

Regards getting it off, Napisan as suggested above could be helpful. Or would some kind of fake tan help to disguise it a bit?

Annahibiscuits · 26/04/2017 21:37

bugger some people don't have DHs to run with, or friends or whatever...and or restricted by work/commitments/location as to where and when they run

DeleteOrDecay · 26/04/2017 21:39

Not sure if I've missed it but would some foundation maybe cover it at least a bit?

AsthmaQ · 26/04/2017 21:40

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks

"In this country people are innocent until proven guilty."

So, then, why are we all saying the woman has assaulted him. Has she been found guilty? No.

SoupDragon · 26/04/2017 21:42

So, then, why are we all saying the woman has assaulted him. Has she been found guilty? No.

You're right. He must have sprayed himself to cause the dyed skin.

Renaissance2017 · 26/04/2017 21:43

Anna

So if someone can't run somewhere without assaulting an innocent person, then that's their problem.

usernumbernine · 26/04/2017 21:44

Innocent until proven guilty doesn't fit with MNHQ campaign of we believe you

Renaissance2017 · 26/04/2017 21:44

I accept mansplaining, manspreading but on here we have a pure case of manblaming

worridmum · 26/04/2017 21:46

I am sorry but you cannot go around spraying and ruining peoples clothes because you might of been attacked before?

At the very least she should be covering the cost of replacement clothes or even done for assult because that it what this was.

Just because women are attacked does not mean they can go around spraying random people on the off chance they are rapists?

Some of the these "safe" products are not actully tested thoughly and can permentaly damagae people eyes just like how hair dye is perferectly safe right? even though its undergone lots of testing on humans

youarenotkiddingme · 26/04/2017 21:46

Jeez your poor DH. Attached with due for going for a run and then attacked by a load of MNers who think the woman was within her rights and are sure he might not be telling the truth.

I have been raped in the past. For years I would jump if a lamppost caused by shadow to move Blush
But I wouldn't have gone about thinking I could spray strangers with dye if I was worried - because my nervousness was about me and not them

SoupDragon · 26/04/2017 21:47

someone has assaulted him by spraying him with permanent dye. It wasn't an accident, it was a deliberate act so, technically, that is an assault isn't it? Whether that someone is found guilty of assault is, of course, a different matter.

The DH, however, assaulted no one, attacked no one and had no intention of attacking anyone.

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