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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH has been sprayed with red dye!

767 replies

Mojit0 · 26/04/2017 17:00

This morning DH was running along the Thames towpath as he often does. He was running quite fast as he's training. There is an area where the path narrows a bit and he had caught up and was running behind a woman. He thought she moved to one side to let him pass, so he ran up behind her, at which point she screamed and suddenly sprayed him with a spray! Most of it got on his t-shirt but some of it also also got on his neck and lower face, though he didn't realise at the time. She screamed at him to get away from her and then ran back the other way. He was saying to her, "It's ok" etc, but he said she was so freaked out and looked so terrified he didn't try and follow her.
Now he has a zig-zag pattern of red up his neck and on the left side if his face and it really won't come off. He went into work and someone told him its probably a dye that the police use to mark criminals! I looked on google and it looks as if you can buy a red spray dye that won't wash off for 7 days! If it's this, it's a nightmare as he has to go to China on business tomorrow.
DH feels bad that she was so scared and her reaction actually scared him. He thinks maybe he should have held back, but he thought she was letting him overtake her. I think her reaction was a bit extreme though -AIBU? I run down that path frequently (although not at 6.30am) and I have never heard of anything like this.

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 26/04/2017 20:52

I can be anxious due to my physical disability, does this mean that I can spray anyone who dares to jog past me?

No? Well then Hmm

OldGuard · 26/04/2017 20:53

Op for die on skin I've had success using the stuff you soak nappies/diapers in - you need to use an old rough face washer and scrub a bit but it worked well

Good luck and sorry this happened for all involved

ZilphasHatpin · 26/04/2017 20:54

Zilphas presumably because he knew his approach was audible to the woman

He assumed she could hear him running. Some people have hearing difficulties and some people wear earphones when running. Either way, if you expect to get past someone on a narrow path then you use your manners and say "excuse me". Common courtesy!

Guepe · 26/04/2017 20:55

Get him a collar with a bell.

Blistory · 26/04/2017 20:55

She didn't randomly assault him. At least the OP doesn't say that anywhere. It's quite clear from the first paragraph that the woman was responding to someone running closely behind her and approaching her and that she was terrified.

I've simply suggested that it's entirely rational for women to be fearful in that situation in the context of the society we live in. I'm not so sure that it's rational to expect women to either suck it up or to live indoors.

ZilphasHatpin · 26/04/2017 20:55

I can be anxious due to my physical disability, does this mean that I can spray anyone who dares to jog past me?

No? Well then hmm

Did I say she was right to spray him? No? Well then Hmm

DioneTheDiabolist · 26/04/2017 20:55

Zilphas, men are statistically more likely to be victims of violent crime than women.

Sirzy · 26/04/2017 20:56

So any man out running can expect to be assaulted, and indeed by your logic have to accept it, simply for daring to run near a woman?

Come on you can't be serious?

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/04/2017 20:56

I'm not so sure that it's rational to expect women to either suck it up or to live indoors.

And you complain about others twisting your words.

usernumbernine · 26/04/2017 20:57

If we are going with "the man didn't " no "the man says he didn't"

Where does that sit with we believe you.

We believe you unless you're a man in which case you're a liar?

NotStoppedAllDay · 26/04/2017 20:58

Daft woman!

Runners know that they will get overtaken. They are aware there are faster runners who pass

Would be obvious what was happening if she had bothered to look round.... running gear/garmin/fast pace...

IloveBanff · 26/04/2017 20:58

Well if she had hearing difficulties/was wearing headphones she wouldn't have heard him say "excuse me" would she? Anyway, just because someone says excuse me, it doesn't mean they're not going to attack you and just because someone doesn't say "excuse me" doesn't mean they will. She was wrong, he wasn't.

Blistory · 26/04/2017 20:59

No, Boney I complained about you coming up with an entirely false statement about what I was apparently suggesting.

Let's not engage with each other anymore as you clearly have something you want to say that I'm not interested in hearing.

ZilphasHatpin · 26/04/2017 20:59

dione I know you can tell my post was in response to a comment regarding rape culture.

FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite · 26/04/2017 21:02

I personally don't think the OP's husband deserved to be sprayed at all!

I'm simply saying that it is... rude to catch up with somebody, run behind them and not say something like "excuse" me. It is certainly not considerate imo.

ZilphasHatpin · 26/04/2017 21:02

Well if she had hearing difficulties/was wearing headphones she wouldn't have heard him say "excuse me" would she

A voice shouting excuse me is far more audible/distinctive than the repetitive sound of feet running when your own feet are making the same sound!

She was wrong. I haven't said she was right. He was bad mannered though. Perhaps he will remember them next time he runs behind people.

Guepe · 26/04/2017 21:02

I'm not so sure that it's rational to expect women to either suck it up or to live indoors.
Who has said that?

People have said that if she's so nervous that she can't prevent herself from assaulting people, she probably shouldn't go running on her own in isolated areas.

TizzyDongue · 26/04/2017 21:03

The OP's husband will want to have a face as tough as a rhino's hind with some of the suggestions for removing the dye!! Ooh the thought of all that scrubbing!!

Peroxide solution might help fade it. Though that's probably what hair dye remover is

Original poster
Mojit0 · 26/04/2017 21:05

Zilphas - have you read the whole thread? He was not running towards her. He had caught up with her in a place where the path narrows and thought she was moving to one side to let him past.
Granted he was in a rush and probably going faster than usual.
In all the years I've known him (15) he has never so much as shouted at a woman so please could we not have pointless speculation. He is no more likely to attack a woman than I am and I can't believe I'm even having to say this.
He runs most mornings and nobody has ever blinked an eyelid. If it's dark in the streets he keeps away from women. He has said it's easier to run with me in the dark because he doesn't have to change tack or cross roads.
Maybe he should have called out. He wonders this himself but he thought she was already moving.
Anything could have previously happened to this woman. He is sorry he scared her, as anyone would be.

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 26/04/2017 21:05

Mmm. I was hit by a car once. It seems that many here think I would have a level of justification to take a hammer to any car I thought was too close to me.

It wasnt my fault that the car driver was looking at her phone and mounted the pavement and I am now hyper vigilant when walking near busy roads and listening out for cars when its a quiet road. But I dont take a hammer to the cars when they are too close.

If you are too scared to be in a certain situation, like running that early where its tightly spaced yet quiet, then you should consider normal human interactions a bit too stressful and seek to mitigate them, rather than assault people.

ZilphasHatpin · 26/04/2017 21:08

He was not running towards her. He had caught up with her in a place where the path narrows and thought she was moving to one side to let him past.

How do you get next to someone without running towards them? Confused

JeNeBaguetteRien · 26/04/2017 21:13

Op means he was not running towards her as in facing her. He was running towards her but was behind her and caught up as he was faster.

DioneTheDiabolist · 26/04/2017 21:14

I'm now not sure what your post meant Zilphas, is it that because women are the most likely victims of sex crimes that men should expect or accept being assaulted?Confused

DPotter · 26/04/2017 21:15

Zilphas
The term 'running towards' implies that the runners were moving nearer to each other, converging from opposite directions, so that they could see each other. 'catching up' implies one runner is faster than another, when both are running in the same directions.

At least that's the implication in my neck of the woods.
Don't be so obtuse

Waddlelikeapenguin · 26/04/2017 21:16

Dear God.

The husband was running towards the back of the sprayer. He was running towards her but she was running away from him.

Towards does not equal facing.