To judge my step sister

[celeryeater]

For smoking in her pregnancy? She is 12 weeks pregnant and at a family do yesterday was still blatantly lighting up in front of everyone! I was I admit I've never smoked so can't understand how bad the addiction is but surely you would try and switch at least some of your smokes to a vaporiser? I know vaping is not exactly healthy but has to be better than smoking. Surely the moment you find out you're pregnant you do everything you possibly can to give that child the best chance?

Whats your relationship like? Maybe if you can could just ask if she is thinking of giving up during the pregnancy and if the midwife has pointed her in the right direction. We have a dedicated smoking cessation nurse in our local hospital to support pregnant mothers. She may not be getting the right support.

Everything carries different levels of risk but I think it's pretty well established that smoking in pregnancy is very detrimental to the fetus.

It can be very detrimental to the fetus. There is no guarantee it will or won't be, which is why it's obviously best not to take the risk.

I noticed you didn't answer my question about obese pregnant mothers?

I mean given that obesity in pregnancy can also be very detrimental to the baby and mother?

User, caffeine has an effect on the developing baby and its brain. If you stop feeling kicks,you are told to drink something with Caffeine in because it is guaranteed to get the baby moving.

On average 40 babies a year die in-utero, because of listeria/salmonella poisoning etc.

Being an older Mother carries risks, but on here, it's advocated by a lot of posters.

This isn't going to be popular but IVF causes a lot of death to potential life.

Judge all you want, but getting a bit of compassion and understanding will create an environment that is best for any baby to be born into.

Just read a few of your replies...
In no way does eating too much sugar, being overweight, eating eggs or whatever compare to smoking during pregnancy. There is a whole myriad of research that shows just how bad it is for the baby and mother.
It's a known fact that it's seriously detrimental to the foetus to smoke during pregnancy.
I would find it hard not to offer support if it was a member of my family.

Btw. to all the people saying eating sugary food isn't that bad...

Honestly, I'm not so sure. Children are apparently more likely to become obese later in life, it obviously contributes to excess weightgain during the pregnancy, there's an increased risk of a nutritional deficit and there are apparently other possible issues. Like an increased risk of certain birth defects etc. However, I'm not a midwive. And seeing as I said that I don't eat a lot of sugar anyway she probably didn't think it was this important to explain all the possibly associated risks.

Anyhow. If a mother needs chocolate every evening or has pudding after dinner and feels horrible if she goes without... Idk, I don't think I'd judge her.

Just like I wouldn't judge a mother that smokes.

A certain amount of caffeine (how much is it nowadays? I know it changed) is associated with an increased risk of stillbirth. And yet I still drank a coffee every morning and had tea in the afternoon. I did consume less caffeine but couldn't function witout any.

Runny eggs/rare steak etc... Also an issue.

Fruit juice is really really high in sugar (and is just as bad as fizzy drink according to our doctor...)

I mean, Idk. I just think that we all do our best.

Maybe that stepsister has the "perfect" pregnany diet (except for the smoking)?

And to anybody that's wondering. No, I didn't smoke (I've never smoked. THat was really easy for me personally...)

In no way does eating too much sugar, being overweight, eating eggs or whatever compare to smoking during pregnancy. There is a whole myriad of research that shows just how bad it is for the baby and mother.

There is also a whole myriad of research into obesity in pregnancy and the increased risks.

Have you read it?

FeedtheShark, you're way out of date. Runny eggs, fine. Rare meat if seared and from a reliable source, fine. Sugar, fine (no proven link to later obesity for children, unless getsational diabetes). Caffiene, mostly fine.

Smoking, not fine, real proven issues.

Doesn't matter anyway, its still no-one elses business what each woman does.

The maternal risks during pregnancy include gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. The fetus is at risk for stillbirth and congenital anomalies. Obesity in pregnancy can also affect health later in life for both mother and child. For women, these risks include heart disease and hypertension.

How does that ^^ not compare to....

Smoking during pregnancy can cause a baby to be born too early or to have low birth weight—making it more likely the baby will be sick and have to stay in the hospital longer. A few babies may even die. Smoking during and after pregnancy is a risk factor of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)

user

If you think so...

But no, caffeine is definitely not simply mostly fine.

And neither is an excess amount of sugar/the issues associated with it.

It's not a matter of what I think, its what the actual evidence shows us. And caffiene in the amounts the majority of people actually drink it is just fine, according to the evidence we have.
Your or my opinion is irrelevant, the great thing about science is that its true whether you agree or not.

It's apparently 200 mg per day (the safe amount of caffeine during pregnancy).

Which is definitely less than what a starbucks (12 oz) cup contains. Maybe I just drink a lot of coffee... But I certainly drink much more than this a day and therefore have to really change my coffee drinking habits when pregnant.

With the size of starbucks (costa, dunkin donuts etc) coffe cups many people probably regularly consume much more caffeine than 200 mg a day.

Yes I'd judge her - my mum smoked throughout her pregnancy with me and I was born premature/low birth weight with health problems associated with it.

It's pure selfishness.

Being an older Mother carries risks, but on here, it's advocated by a lot of posters.

As you well know, children of older mothers are at a statistical advantage owing to a constellation of factors.

Risks of older motherhood are principally miscarriage and genetic defects, the former of which is exclusively a self-inflicted trauma and the latter of which is screenable at 11 weeks. I can't agree with the parallel (in the absence of an anti-abortion perspective)

I'd be more inclined to group sugar and alcohol together, the body reacts to both as drugs.

While smoking is also a drug, it has the problematic effect of depriving the foetus of oxygen.

Would I judge a mother on these other risk factors.. Probably yes, in proportion to the risk they carry. Obesity may be bad but once you're pregnant you would have to be very careful about weight loss whereas smoking you can stop any more of the risk automatically by not smoking anymore.

As someone who is 4 days post partum I am feeling all the feelings his makes me very sad and anxious

But surely both mothers (if you're going to be judgey) are putting their babies at risk, OP?

Or is the nicotine addict, the only one you're fussed about?

See this is the problem with lacking any kind of empathy and understanding.

If you're going to judge, how do you pick and choose who you judge, when the risks to the baby are so similar?

I think the only thing you can say is 'is there anything I can do to help you smoke less while you are pregnant?' and be prepared for the answer to be 'yes, get out of my face and never mention it again'.

My mum smoked 80 non filtered cigarettes a day until she was at least 5mths Preg with me. She would light one off the other and chain smoked all day. She gave up and went cold turkey! She switched to giant boxes of hard liquorice sticks to give her hands something to do. Liquorice is really bad in pregnancy too. Especially the ridiculous volume she was eating.

Yes I have read the associated research Worraliberty, my job overlaps into that area at times and yes your right about the associated risks however being obese in particular does not compare because a person cannot stop being obese when pregnant however it is within a person's power to stop smoking.
We are not talking about offering opinions to some stranger in the street. This is someone I presume the OP cares about.

A person can lose weight before becoming pregnant

A person can give up smoking before becoming pregnant

So unless we're talking about accidental pregnancy, I think they absolutely do compare.

Both women (if pregnancy is actually planned) are putting their babies and themselves at unnecessary risk.