To kill a man and dump his body in the chiller section

[debska]

Lots and lots of major shit in my life at the moment and the stress is showing in my face. Today has been horrific especially. Popped to supermarket. A delightful man decided to tell me to cheer up as it might never happen. Shouted ' you don't know what is going on my life , he told me to shut up as he walked away. He was obviously thinking his kind work as a Samaritan had done the trick. I told ( shouted) him to shut up too. Had to vent so told a lovely lady who worked there. There was nothing she could do but I did have a fantasy of him being hauled out by security lol. So would I have been unreasonable to have throttled him and shoved him in with the other frozen pork products .

YABU. The point being that this is a complete stranger who doesn't know what's going on your life

Ex fucking zactly. Key words.
Which is why people should learn to keep their big horribly smug mouths shut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He was clearly a misogynistic bastard as the telling me to shut came out so quickly. Not the first time he's said that to a female.
I am quite upset as it just about the final straw today. I don't like losing my shit in the vegetable section . I would never say that to anyone. And isn't about being nice it's telling me that I measure up to his standards and I need adjust my face to be acceptable.

I genuinely don't see what there is to be offended about

That must be sooooo nice for you!

instead of saying something patronising to a stranger?

Maybe he didn't see it as patronizing?

He may have just seen a woman that looked upset, and felt concern. There are some gentlemen around still. He may have been that old school type

I think bobyform must be the arse hole himself

I am a female.

Why are you do you need to start swearing and insulting - merely because I don't agree with you? I haven't said anything derogatory to anyone, merely not agreed with the main group - Grow up!

Just relax OP, this really isn't worth getting worked up about - whatever else is going on in your life is the real problem, this guy he's not important

I genuinely don't see what there is to be offended about

Well, aside from the stunning lack of empathy or emotional intelligence required to suppose that someone should alter their mood to suit you, it doesn't require many functioning braincells to work out that if someone is looking upset, angry, sad etc. then the chances are "it" has probably already happened

If you're genuinely concerned about someone you don't say 'cheer up, it might never happen', you ask if they're alright, if they need help, if they are having a rough day. You don't make a flippant, throwaway comment designed to make them feel crappy about how they appear to others on top of whatever else has already happened to them.

No he's not misogynistic.
Hes just like to play the 'I'm the big iam hard case with women, because he knows quite well. If said that to a rugby player and then told them to shit up. He'd get eaten for breakfast.
Its total shit houseness. Nothing to do with misogyny

Someone said that to my uncle.... a few hours after him finding his dad (my grandad) dead.

You don't know what people are going through when it's said. I know it's supposed to be a harmless remark but sometimes it just really isn't

Yes, do calm down dear

Bodyform if you saw someone looking worried and/or sad and felt genuine concern for them, would you ask

A. "Are you ok?" Or "is everything all right?"

Or would you say

B. "Cheer up it might never happen"

If you personally would say B you would be being a bit of a dick.

I acknowledge the irony of me accosting my DH in this manner

There are no end of twats out there for sure. Years ago I had a severe dog bite on my face, I was hospitalised and required numerous Max-Fax out patient appointments.
When walking through the hospital one day, some bright spark piped up" ooh what happened to the other person love!" and smirked away. I was so shocked that some one would make such an insensitive remark to a young woman with a horrible facial injury that I said nothing. it still shocks me today!
You have my upmost sympathies, hope you feel better soon

He may have just seen a woman that looked upset, and felt concern. There are some gentlemen around still. He may have been that old school type

In which case the appropriate ('gentlemanly') thing to do would have been to either pretend to ignore it and allow the 'lady' her privacy or if the gentleman felt the lady was truly in distress, to approach and quietly say 'You look upset, do you need assistance?'.

I don't know why, but this reminded me of the Ronald Dahl short story where the woman murdered her husband by whacking him over the head with a frozen leg of lamb, which was then merrily roasting in the oven by the time the cops came calling. IIRC she invited them to share her nice roast dinner.
Not that I'm recommending this particular method, of course. 😈

My answer to cheer up, it might never happen is "it already has. I've just met you".

Only on mumsnet could a bloke telling a women to cheer up when she knows nothing, and then telling her to shut up would be described as a gentleman.
Who ever said that must know some very strange "gentlemen"

"He may have just seen a woman that looked upset, and felt concern."

So he chose to say "cheer up, it might never happen"?

Dunno about you but I'd probably ask if someone was okay if I was genuinely concerned. But he clearly wasn't. I'll bet you a million bucks he'd never say that to a man who looked down in the dumps. I'm sure you're now going to disagree with me and say there are loads of men going around being "concerned" about other men but I think we both know that's not true.

Gentleman my arse!

Yes, everything acrossthepond said. A demand to "smile" is not compassionate or helpful.

And bodyform What has my expression got to do with him? He made a personal comment so gets a response from me

I'm sure you're now going to disagree with me and say there are loads of men going around being "concerned" about other men but I think we both know that's not true

No, I wont disagree, as I couldn't possibly know? That would be a crazy claim

Some people do act differently with members of the opposite sex, and members of the same sex. People don't even realize they are doing it.
You only have to listen to radio 2 and listen to how Moira Stewart relates to Chris Evans, and then listen how she speaks to other females. Big difference. Like I say I don't think some people even realize they are doing it

He didn't see someone looking upset. I just wasn't smiling. Hands up anyone who has felt better after being told to cheer up by a random bloke. Perhaps samaritans should give it all up and we could have a national cheer up love service where you don't ring them , they ring you . In fact this is the equivalent of a nuisance call but face to face