To kill a man and dump his body in the chiller section

[debska]

Lots and lots of major shit in my life at the moment and the stress is showing in my face. Today has been horrific especially. Popped to supermarket. A delightful man decided to tell me to cheer up as it might never happen. Shouted ' you don't know what is going on my life , he told me to shut up as he walked away. He was obviously thinking his kind work as a Samaritan had done the trick. I told ( shouted) him to shut up too. Had to vent so told a lovely lady who worked there. There was nothing she could do but I did have a fantasy of him being hauled out by security lol. So would I have been unreasonable to have throttled him and shoved him in with the other frozen pork products .

I wonder if the female->male equivalent is something like "Suck that gut in love, youre letting the side down!".
Its all about deciding that woman exist to be appealing to men at all times, and them feeling entitled to inform you that they think you are failing in that obligation.

Changingagain I'm sorry to hear that - I'm always tempted to say that even though it's not true, but feel like it'd be tempting fate :S

Saw on facebook ages ago a thing saying something like "If it's so nice and well-intentioned, why don't men tell other men to smile?" ... Blew my mind!

The only time women have ever told me to smile was when taking a photo.

It's really misogynistic. Always something men say to women, as if we're paid to smile for random blokes.

Re freezer, there's space in mine if you need it.

Good for you OP. As a teen the man in the key shop was standing outside as I walked past and said similar. i went straight to 'Fuck you!' I looked quite sweet and innocent and he was very, very shocked.
My mum has also told someone who said it to her that her parents had just been killed in a car crash (they hadn't).
Expect neither of these people ever dared say it again. It is taking a stupid risk because you don't know what other people have going on in their lives and it's a ridiculous idea to imagine people walking around with inane grins on their faces. It does seem to mostly be men saying this to women, too, as if we have to play some role for them, skipping along happily with bluebirds on our shoulders.

YANBU. In fact, you would have had people queuing up to provide an alibi for you.

I don't have a naturally smiley face - I smile lots when I'm talking to people I actually like and enjoy the company of - but I find most people exhausting and don't know how to 'be' around them. I'm also generally a quiet person. At school there was one girl, a year or two older than me, who had a personal aim to bring up my lack of smiles every time I saw her - one morning (we had enrichment sessions on Friday mornings, which were cross-age-range) she was going on and on, before the teacher arrived, trying to embarrass me over it - I snapped in the end, told her some people just did not have naturally smiley faces and that when she said something amusing, or at least worthwhile, then I'd smile. (I actually said that at 13 - I was as much of a smart arse then as I am now)

That's the only time I've ever heard a female say it, it seems to be the phrase of, at best, well-intentioned men who think it is their duty to cheer women up.

Sorry for ranting back - comments like that give me rage.

I've never heard it from a woman either. It's definitely patronising.

Has anyone ever been told to smile in this way by a woman?
Never, but used to get it occasionally from men when I was younger and therefore more "worthy" of their attention I've also had the unwanted attention from male drivers when I've been out running. Wish they'd all just go about their business without commenting on our appearence!

I used to get "You look so lovely when you smile, completely different". Didn't bother me, I know it's true, not the lovely bit, but that my face is dreadful when not smiling - major RBF.

I once moaned to a colleague about how miserable a customer was, and colleague said to me "You've no idea what's going on on her life" - have never forgotten that.

People who say "cheers up it night never happen" (invariably men to women - now why is that???) deserve a thump in the face. Or death in the pork products freezer - so YANBU.

Oh dear. I once said "cheer up, it might never happen" to a random man in the pub once. In my defence, he did look very grumpy and I was very drunk.

We ended up married and this was over 20 years ago

Seriously though, I was much younger as well as very drunk and I don't think I would say it to anyone nowadays, as you don't know what's going on in peoples' lives. I would like to think I am a bit more sensitive with a conversation opener these days, although I still do like a pleasant random chat to someone I don't know but I don't marry them

I also agree that a of lot men do approach a lot of women on spurious grounds though just to be patronising knobheads and comments made solely for this reason fully deserve a "fuck off" in return. I think you can generally tell when someone is just making a pleasant comment in passing, or being a dick. I don't think men can complain however if someone erred on the side of caution and interprets their pleasant comment as being a dick, as I would hedge a bet that 99% of us here have been on the end of unwanted unpleasant male attention.

Learn this phrase... "Fuck off, cunt."

Fucking hate that cheer up it might never happen. How do you know it hasn't already wank stain!!!!!!!!!!!.
How did he know you hadn't buried
your mother the day before.

Well done.

I got "cheer up, it might never happen" when I was going from A&E to the chemist after just having it confirmed I was miscarrying. The prick.

And yes, if its so fucking harmless, why is it not said to other men, or old grumpy pensioners.

I'm a fan of growling 'mind your own business' to anyone who proffers unsolicited advice of any sort. Works a treat.

YABU, the point being that this is a complete stranger who doesn't know what is going on in your life, saying a harmless comment and then getting his head ripped off for it.

It seems to be viewed as sexist but he said 'cheer up it may never happen' not 'get your tits out love'

No wonder he told you to shut up - there's no need to take your problems out on someone for no reason

wow bodyform everyday sexism just goes WOOSH over your head doesn't it?

Oh I used to get that .. Cheer up mate, , not that bad ..

Or . Smile , it might never happen .

Well one day they caught me when something had happened so I loudly told him "Actually, it HAS Happened , my Uncle is dead!!" .. He soon shut up but seriously . people need to keep their thoughts private ! Ignorant twats

Bodyform it was not HIS place to say anything to the OP .

I had this on a bus a while ago, I was going to a funeral and I'd had one of those mornings where little things were just going wrong, so I burst into tears and subjected the man to a rant about everything that was bothering me, got to a point where he's obviously feeling awkward and he said something about it not being any of his business and I said 'yeah well neither is my face but you commented on that'.

I hate the term "resting bitch face," it's just a face, it's what it looks like and you don't have to explain it.

I have never, ever had this. I don't know why, maybe I go round grinning inanely. However I have had other pleasant comments from men. I have big boobs and several times I've had men shout "tits!" at me. Isn't that witty?!

"there's no need to take your problems out on someone for no reason"

Well he kinda GAVE the OP a reason. Why not keep your mouth shut instead of saying something patronising to a stranger?

OP you made me laugh. Don't kill him though, that's too good for him. Lock him in a cellar and torture him. Scotch bonnet under the foreskin not that I've ever done this myself honest.

wow bodyform everyday sexism just goes WOOSH over your head doesn't it?

Have you ever heard the saying ''the opposite of what you know is also true'' - i.e there is more than one allowed view point.

I genuinely don't see what there is to be offended about.

What a stupid thing to say.

This isn't a 'thing' I've ever heard of happening here in the US. Usually when someone walks around with a grumpy appearing face it results in averted eyes or at most a small hopefully sympathetic-looking smile at eye contact.

What would happen if someone responded to these idiots "Really? And just what is the 'it' that might not happen? Because if you don't know what the 'it' is, then how to you know if 'it' will or won't happen? And would you like to advise me on what I should do if 'it' actually does happen?'.