to call them stupid (rant! i wouldnt really)

[Verticalvenetianblinds]

Ds is nearly 2, and doesn't tolerate dairy. This isn't a problem until we go out to eat. Often choose locally run places, tend to lean towards to the organic/vegetarian/homemade type places as that's my preference. He'll eat anything so often shares mine, which I ask for with no butter. But recently hes decided hes a big boy now and doesn't want to share. This is an example of a regular and annoying occurrence:
He loves scrambled egg so I asked for that at a local cafe. Asked if it was possible to just scramble the egg, no milk or butter added -no problem she said. I went on to explain he doesnt eat dairy and she hesitated... I thought she was going to worry about cross contamination but no. Her question was 'but eggs are dairy'

Now my aibu is everytime this happens (which is half the time and we go out a couple of times a week) can I just smile and remind them of basic animal knowledge?
I'm sure there must be a witty reply I can use without making them feel dense.
(but seriously where the actual fuck do they think eggs come from?)

I was taught at primary school that eggs were dairy

Yes me too.
As a pp has mentioned, we used to have a picture of dairy food in the classroom which included a bowl of eggs.

In days gone by eggs were kept in the dairy thus being classed as dairy food - so in this respect they are.
It's not stupid to have this misconception.

I have added 3 images of eggs being added in with dairy after a Google image search. This is to illustrate that not everyone who was taught eggs are in the dairy food group is an idiot or think cows lay eggs!
There are other images where eggs are included with meat and fish, or in the protein layer of the pyramid.
Reading this thread has taught me that not everyone considers eggs to be dairy, but I'll still point out if they're in a dish where it may not be obvious, because there are people who think they are included, and to not do so could put someone's health at risk. Going to be small comfort to them and me, if they get ill as a result and my response is 'eggs aren't dairy so you're an idiot for thinking they are'.

I would have thought eggs dairy too. So yes you are being unreasonable because it's you not explaining it properly

It's not her not explaining it properly, its you not understanding what simple basic words mean.

Ihave - You're quite right. Whenever there's potential for miscommunication, I appreciate anyone double-checking what I mean, because it shows they're taking it seriously. It's just annoying not to have a standard term that works across everyone, IYSWIM, and can drive you a bit crackers when you have to explain all the time.

Anyway, chez Tweedle we have resolved all this by also developing egg allergies

there's goat's milk and orange juice next to the cow's milk - does that make them dairy too!

Well one of those is milk, and is therefore dairy. Can you guess which one?

I think YABU. I have loads of friends whose kids have various allergies, and I would always double-check. I was taught eggs were classed as dairy, even though I know they do not come from cows(!). Eg we recently ran a cake stall and had a mix of cakes and cookies, some contained eggs/fat, some were fat free and some were vegan. One person said they were pleased to see the vegan cakes as they could not eat dairy, and I then asked them if their definition of dairy included eggs as we had some cakes that were animal-fat free, but used eggs in the binding.

Having said that, in this particular instance, where you have specifically asked for eggs, albeit with no milk/butter, I would have assumed that meant your son can eat eggs.

Can I apologise to anyone who is offended by my suggestion that they cows lay eggs, and that I was calling them an idiot. I was trying to inject a note of levity.

I also regarded eggs as dairy until a farmer patient put me right when I was at work (though I never thought they would spark an allergic reaction in people with a dairy allergy). I just hadn't really thought about it.

I had never seen or heard of a food pyramid until this thread.

Going to ask my 7 year old when he gets home to ensure primary education aren't classing eggs as dairy!
Some people on this thread tho

And I would prefer a slightly jokey/witty reply as I don't want the waitress to feel stupid. I will stick with clear clarification that if I'm ordering eggs without butter and milk it is the dairy that is the problem.
Will make sure I order mayonnaise as well next time, just to confuse the issue even more (it's white therefore dairy?!)

Going to ask my 7 year old when he gets home to ensure primary education aren't classing eggs as dairy!

Won't be the first time that schools have taught incorrect facts.

Won't be the first time that schools have taught incorrect facts.

I was taught at primary school that the scientific study of space, planets, stars etc was called 'astrology'. My much older brother looked over my shoulder as I was doing my homework and pointed out that that was nonsense, it was astronomy. And of course, I didn't believe him, because my lovely teacher had said it was astrology, and she was a teacher and therefore must always be right

Just say, "Ha, no, funny you should say that, as a lot of people think the same, but actually eggs aren't included in dairy, so no problems with egg " Job done.

They put potatoes and baked beans both in vegetables

Hang on, potatoes are vegetables.

I had to convince a colleague once that eggs were vegetarian.

Tweedledumb0 "I don't think you understand the nature of allergen checking. This isn't a stupid question of them to ask - not at all. This is people who are aware that ALL ingredients in any food need to be double-checked. I always check that juice is just pure juice, rather than, for eg, squash that contains barley (v common indeed)."

It's juice. Made fresh. From your choice of apples or oranges.
There will never be an occasion where this product contains gluten.

Squash is a soft drink, which is not considered a juice in Australia. Anything you add piles of sugar to is not juice.

In hospitality we are extremely able and understand far more about allergies than most people who apparently have them. I am familiar with the dietary requirements of many illnesses, sensitivities and every bloody fad diet since 1998.

Everyone obviously knows eggs are not from cows. The confusion is the word 'dairy' which is obviously historically to do with the dairy of a farm - where eggs were also dealt with! - and not a scientific term. So people may think you avoid eggs and milk or all animal products or what have you. I am sure they do not know dairy = milk and therefore do not think cows lay eggs

Ps where I live even coke is called 'juice'

Nelipotter - fair enough if they can see you're about to make it from fresh fruit

Here in the US, eggs are refrigerated, and they are typically in the dairy case. However, that doesn't mean they come from cows.

Everyone obviously knows eggs are not from cows. The confusion is the word 'dairy' which is obviously historically to do with the dairy of a farm - where eggs were also dealt with! - and not a scientific term

It doesn't need to be a scientific term, but it is a specific word, and it doesn't mean "stuff from cows". Goat milk, sheeps milk etc and their products are also dairy. Dairy simply means milk and milk products, it's that simple.

You could however say "no milk products, please" thus avoiding any confusion.....

You could however say "no milk products, please" thus avoiding any confusion

But how do you know the waitress/food prep person would know that butter is made from milk? Some may not realise or if they're only half concentrating may not put 2 and 2 together. It's still not specific enough to avoid any doubt/confusion.

The OP was exactly right if you read what they said. They were clear in what they wanted. It was the waitress challenging/questioning the eggs that was the problem. Sounds like some "know it all" waitress trying to be patronising. The mother asked for scrambled eggs - why on earth would a waitress question the eggs part of that?

You could however say "no milk products, please" thus avoiding any confusion

If people don't know eggs aren't dairy, there are probably also people that don't know butter is a milk product, or cheese. Or that milk is in many things, such as bread.

If people don't know eggs aren't dairy, there are probably also people that don't know butter is a milk product, or cheese. Or that milk is in many things, such as bread.

Exactly. I asked for scrambled eggs on toast without milk/butter once when I was trying to avoid dairy temporarily due to stomach/gut problems. No problem, waitress went away. Brought back a lovely scrambled egg, but they'd buttered the toast!!

You have to be VERY careful with your instructions/explanations and double check everything if it's something important. In so many things these days, the devil is in the detail, and just too many people don't check things properly or make their own incorrect assumptions from some kind of position of arrogance.