to call them stupid (rant! i wouldnt really)

[Verticalvenetianblinds]

Ds is nearly 2, and doesn't tolerate dairy. This isn't a problem until we go out to eat. Often choose locally run places, tend to lean towards to the organic/vegetarian/homemade type places as that's my preference. He'll eat anything so often shares mine, which I ask for with no butter. But recently hes decided hes a big boy now and doesn't want to share. This is an example of a regular and annoying occurrence:
He loves scrambled egg so I asked for that at a local cafe. Asked if it was possible to just scramble the egg, no milk or butter added -no problem she said. I went on to explain he doesnt eat dairy and she hesitated... I thought she was going to worry about cross contamination but no. Her question was 'but eggs are dairy'

Now my aibu is everytime this happens (which is half the time and we go out a couple of times a week) can I just smile and remind them of basic animal knowledge?
I'm sure there must be a witty reply I can use without making them feel dense.
(but seriously where the actual fuck do they think eggs come from?)

Dairy products come from a dairy - a place which harvests the milk of mammals for processing into products.

Eggs are not a milk product.

Whether people commonly get confused or have been incorrectly taught in the past is irrelevant. Eggs are not dairy. Plain and simple.

YWBU to be rude to people and call them stupid as anyone can make a mistake, but YANBU to be surprised that so many people don't understand the basics of food.

It's a really common misconception so I think YABU to call people stupid. They just haven't given it much thought.

Eggs are often lumped into the same section as Dairy because they are an animal by product.
As mentioned, an egg allergy can accompany a cow's milk allergy, so people serving food are right to mention eggs if dairy is a problem for the customer.

I have honestly never seen eggs in a fridge with dairy in the supermarket. In most of the ones I go to regularly eggs are next to sugar and flour.

In our local supermarket, there's goat's milk and orange juice next to the cow's milk - does that make them dairy too!

@user1491572121 "people assume that eggs are dairy because they're in the same spot as the milk and butter at the supermarket."

Not in any supermarket I've been in recently...

You should check your spaghetti Bolognese Vertical traditionally some parts of Italy do put milk in so it would contain dairy .

As mentioned, an egg allergy can accompany a cow's milk allergy, so people serving food are right to mention eggs if dairy is a problem for the customer.

But it's not right for the waitress to challenge someone who has specifically asked for eggs by making an incorrect comment that "eggs are diary".

What is right is where eggs are also an ingredient in another meal, if the waitress is told no milk/butter, then it's entirely right for the waitress to mention the egg content of that meal just in case the customer didn't realise that egg products were included too.

Yes, the waitress should have just taken the order.

But she is not the one ranting about how stupid people are and looking for smartarse comebacks to demonstrate it.

And she may have been just double checking against her previous understanding of the category. Double checking , if you have any doubt whatsoever where allergies are concerned , is a good thing. And should not be deterred by people being snotty.

But this is MN AIBU and being snotty and slagging people off is way more important than communicating and co-operating with others....

lidl keep their eggs right next to the milk, and so do quite a few other supermarkets.

Badbunny, i think your diabetic nurse was right about beans and lentils. They are very good for people with diabetes, as they have a low GI and are slowly absorbed. The tiny amount of sugar in the beans still means the overall glycemic load is low .

Tinned foods are good foods and are recommend by most registered nutritionists and dietitians. Have a look at any example of the eatwell plate and tinned fish, beans, fruit are all on it.

OP , sorry if I am derailing your thread.
I agree you need to say 'cows milk intolerant' about your LO's dietary needs, rather than 'can't have dairy' as so many people get it wrong. And you do need to specify all the products like butter, margarine, cream and so on.
I think the debate on here has shown how little people know about food !!
( sorry to all the posters who have proved my point

OP couldn't have been clearer about what she wanted. The waitresses question was based on 'ignorance' in the old fashion/proper meaning of the word. Not knowing that eggs aren't dairy.

The issue is that someone working in a restaurant ought to understand basic food groups (actually everyone ought to know).

Where supermarket place products has nothing to do with it.

It's a common misapprehension. Just say he's cow's milk intolerant and don't be an arse about it.

Badbunny, i think your diabetic nurse was right about beans and lentils. They are very good for people with diabetes, as they have a low GI and are slowly absorbed. The tiny amount of sugar in the beans still means the overall glycemic load is low .

Everyone is different. Tinned foods with high sugar/salt/additive content, and where the total carbohydrate volume is relatively high, send my blood sugar readings into orbit, as do packet foods like breakfast cereals. Baked beans were one of the first things I had to cut out when I was first diagnosed. Luckily, I was referred to a dietician who helped me to substitute pre-prepared, tinned and packet foods (full of additives) and onto simpler/fresh/unprocessed foods and now my diabetes is well under control. I can now include beans and lentils in my meals without the baggage of the sugar/salt/additives from the tins.

I'm veggie and once got asked if the 'really thin ham' was ok

Ask them the last time they saw an egg come out of a tit

My DS also has a CMPA and I am on a facebook support group. Someone spotted ELC was selling a dairy kit - milk, cheese, cream etc. It also had eggs in so the poster emailed ELC and they changed the title to "dairy and eggs.."

Every day a school day, it would never have occurred to me that 'dairy' products, of the dairy industry, had anything to do with eggs.

As well as the examples of school materials having a category of dairy and eggs, which then gets shortened to dairy, could it also stem from the differences between some vegetarians (no meat) and other vegetarians and vegans (who avoid eating any animal and their byproducts like milk and eggs)? Grasping at straws here.

Found I had to google, to see how widespread the confusion really is about the meaning of dairy. The only reference I could find was to a 'misconception' that eggs had anything to do with dairy products for which no explanation was given.

I think part of the modern day confusion may be because most vegetarians eat eggs and cheese, and dairy products but vegans don't.

I am a chef for kids on school residential trips and DO know the difference but we get a lot of children with dietary requirements that will state "no dairy or eggs" on their forms.

'Dairy' simply isn't a very useful word in this context.

lidl keep their eggs right next to the milk, and so do quite a few other supermarkets

Not in either of the two Lidl (Lidls?) near me, the eggs are at the other side of the shop from the fridges. And to clarify, I'm not saying it doesn't happen, obviously it does, people here are saying it's standard. It's just that I've never actually seen it myself.

Because it's not a lot of meat Frazzle so it doesn't count? One of my veggie friends has something similar with 'vegetarian risotto' which had been made with beef stock! But was 'vegetarian' as it only had vegetables in it.

People were taught using a chart like this, showing eggs with dairy. Also, on food hygiene courses when they talk about cross contamination, chopping boards etc eggs are usually put in with dairy.

If you Google for Dairy Products and hit Images, you get a lot (not all but a significant amount) of images showing a jug of milk, several cheeses and EGGS!
Note the title of this image blog.unicasport.com/wp-content/uploads/Best-dairy-products-that-keep-you-fit.jpg

Spot the eggs thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/dairy-products-collection-12585798.jpg

Goats eggs apparrently
allthingsranch.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/glass-of-milk-with-cheeses.jpg

It's no wonder people are confused about eggs being dairy when we are still being bombarded with images insinuating they are dairy, even when our common sense says otherwise.

I've had loads of 'but it has eggs in it' comments too when ordering food for dd who is cowsmilk and a thousand other things intolerant.
I just explain that it's the cows milk that causes her main problem.

One of my DC had a CMPA and we were told not to give goat's milk as the proteins are similar.

'Dairy' isn't a very useful term in terms of allergies.
Some people can have goats but not cows milk, some people can have lactose-free cows milk, some can't... As we have seen 'dairy' gets used conversationally and gastronomically (if not agriculturally or nutritionally) to include eggs.

Just be specific.

Had the OP stopped her explanation at 'eggs, no milk, no cows milk products ' the waitress would not have hesitated, perhaps.

In our local supermarket, there's goat's milk and orange juice next to the cow's milk - does that make them dairy too!

Errrr, if goat's milk isn't dairy, what is it?