to call them stupid (rant! i wouldnt really)

[Verticalvenetianblinds]

Ds is nearly 2, and doesn't tolerate dairy. This isn't a problem until we go out to eat. Often choose locally run places, tend to lean towards to the organic/vegetarian/homemade type places as that's my preference. He'll eat anything so often shares mine, which I ask for with no butter. But recently hes decided hes a big boy now and doesn't want to share. This is an example of a regular and annoying occurrence:
He loves scrambled egg so I asked for that at a local cafe. Asked if it was possible to just scramble the egg, no milk or butter added -no problem she said. I went on to explain he doesnt eat dairy and she hesitated... I thought she was going to worry about cross contamination but no. Her question was 'but eggs are dairy'

Now my aibu is everytime this happens (which is half the time and we go out a couple of times a week) can I just smile and remind them of basic animal knowledge?
I'm sure there must be a witty reply I can use without making them feel dense.
(but seriously where the actual fuck do they think eggs come from?)

I have CMPA and have been astonished over the years at people's lack of knowledge. Examples just from recent months include:

'But how come you are eating nuts?'

'You can't have this as it has coconut milk in it'

'If you say you can't have milk then you are contradicting yourself by saying you can eat beef'

'Ok, I can accept you don't have cows' milk, but when you say you also can't have goats' milk or sheep milk... all a little bit coincidental isn't it?'

Oh and of course...

'But eggs are dairy'

I have CMPA and have been astonished over the years at people's lack of knowledge

Really? "Astonished"? Why would you expect them even to know what CMPA stands for, if it hasn't affected them?

Most people can't list all gluten-containing ingredients. That doesn't "astonish" me - why would it?

Unless they are cows' eggs (unlikely - they dig tunnels and hide them underground as protection against predators), eggs definitely aren't dairy.

I admit that I thought they were for many years until bovine nesting habits were explained to me.

Now I know better.

I'm kinda pleased its not just me, but I've only had 18 months of it tho!

Bovine nesting habits!

YABU - I'm not stupid and I know that cows don't lay eggs, or any of that crap. I live in the country and always have and know exactly where my meat and eggs come from because I buy locally. However I was taught that milk and milk products AND eggs are classed as dairy at school and later at college and on some courses I've done. This may well have changed now,

I would imagine it's better if people clarify, particularly if they are unsure. Surely them asking is less annoying than your Dc being ill!

Dairy products are made from milk.

Eggs aren't made from milk.

Now I have a mental picture stuck in my head of a cow building a nest!

just say he cant have cows milk protein.
My daughter had severe food allergies. Checking and double checking becomes a part of life. Most people never have to consider the intricacies of their diet.
Dairy as l classification does often include eggs.
I think it is always worth specifying the cows milk protein Incase someone puts lacto free milk in thinking that is ok.

A few years ago I was put on a dairy free diet and would often eat eggs. When people pointed out that they thought I couldn't eat eggs I used to ask they last time they had eaten cows eggs or seen a cow lay an egg as, while often classified as dairy products, eggs contain no cows milk protein which is what a lot of people react to!!

Multivac, I have never said to people, 'I have CPMA'.

My standard phrase is, 'I'm allergic to milk and milk products: I need to avoid milk, cheese, butter, margarine, cream, yoghurt and any foods that contain them'.

In response, people have replied with their observations about nuts, coconut milk, beef, goats' milk etc.

For those suggesting the OP says her dc can't have cow's milk, I would think that is a lot more likely to result in an error than saying no dairy. If people don't realise eggs aren't dairy, what are the chances they won't realise butter or cheese or ice-cream are dairy?

Personally, I don't understand how people would group eggs in with dairy but I've only ever seen a food pyramid that groups eggs with meat products. Maybe the UK one was different.

Posted too soon.

I'd be pretty pissed off to encounter a snarky smart arsed attitude if you ordered something that contained eggs but had told me your son needed a dairy free diet, and I told you it contained eggs, as you may have missed that or possibly not known.
If you ordered scrambled egg, without milk then I'd assume that you're not stupid and know your son can have eggs, I'd not feel the need to point that out, but with something where eggs are involved and that may not be obvious, and I'm told a customer is dairy free, I'd point it out to be on the safe side.
It's customers like you that give people a hard time for doing what they're supposed to do that wind me the fuck up. Why am I an idiot for ensuring what is served to your son is safe?
You sound precious.

In response, people have replied with their observations about nuts, coconut milk, beef, goats' milk etc.

The bastards. The stupid, ignorant bastards.

Why does it annoy you? Why feel the need to say anything witty? It's obviously not that uncommon going by the posts here.

Just say, factually "actually eggs don't come under dairy, it just means XYZ" that way, she'll know in future without being hit with a "witty" remark that even with the best of intentions might make her feel stupid and self conscious about questioning things in the future.

I'm sure gently correcting people will affect you much less than dealing with your son becoming ill because someone hasn't double checked with you when they're unsure.

I've just done a google image search for food pyramids. Don't know what others have been looking at, but nearly all show eggs along with meat, fish and poultry. Most show dairy separately with no sign of egg being included. But some do include dairy with the meat, fish, poulty, egg section.

Now I have a mental picture stuck in my head of a cow building a nest!

The next time you see a cow with twigs in its beak big rubbery cow lips, you will know what it is up to.

A potato is a vegetable? It might provide your body with carbs but it's still a vegetable (root)

The egg/ diary thing is really uncommon as others have said. Hard to get worked up about. It's not a measure if intelligence

Really common even

How can dairy ever have included eggs when the very definition of dairy is that it is a product from the milk of a mammal?

To all those saying dairy isn't useful in terms of allergies....wtf? It is the correct term!

Say cow's milk and you may be given another dairy product or they won't check the ingredients properly. They also may assume goats or sheeps milk based products are fine, when they are not.

Why spend 5 minutes explaining what "dairy" means when that 1 word says it all in the first place.

If someone is lactose intolerant or definitely has no issue with things like goats milk products or the child is outgrowing the allergy and so can tolerate, for example butter and cooked cheese but not yoghurts, milk, etc, that is the time to give specific details. In those cases saying "lactose intolerant" or "allergic to anything with cow's milk in it at all but fine with goats milk products" would be appropriate.

As a Vegan I get this constantly.

I ordered a salad sandwich in a deli once and got into a lengthy explanation as to what 'Veganism' entailed.

No animal products.

I had to explain four/five times that I wanted no marg or butter.

Opened the sandwich when I got home and it was full of egg.

It's debilitating at times but just grin, bear and keep repeating yourself. There's nothing more you can do. She'll know for next time!

Nelipotter - "On the other hand, I've had people ask me the stupidest things when I used to work in a cafe. "Does this juice contain gluten?" Ummm..... I don't think you understand the nature of gluten...."

I don't think you understand the nature of allergen checking. This isn't a stupid question of them to ask - not at all. This is people who are aware that ALL ingredients in any food need to be double-checked. I always check that juice is just pure juice, rather than, for eg, squash that contains barley (v common indeed).

I would hope that anyone who worked in a food establishment would understand exactly why a customer would ask this. Makes me sad that you dismissed those customers as stupid, when actually they were ensuring there was clear communication between them and you to keep themselves safe.

Oh, and OP - this happens all the blooming time. You just have to set yourself to automatic and repeat a standard response. View it as an educational service, if that helps you not want to kill them

I think that historically, on family farms and smallholdings, the women did the milking, made butter and cheese, and also looked after the hens and collected eggs. Hence eggs were the preserve of the "dairy" and this explains some of the confusion today.