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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say she has brought this on herself?

299 replies

GreenHairDontCare · 23/04/2017 21:52

Dd is 13. A couple of months ago at great expense I let her have the bottom half of her hair bleached blonde. It looked lovely.

Last week she phoned me from her friend's and said she was putting a wash out green dye on it. I told her not to as it would stain the blonde.

She did it anyway. She has spent the last week washing it with dandruff shampoo, baby shampoo, washing up liquid and today as a last try we did a vitamin c powder twice.

Somewhat predictably she still has bright green hair.

She goes back to school tomorrow. They are VERY strict. Natural hair colours only. She will likely be sent home. She is now (at nearly ten pm) having a screaming fit about it. I've told her that if they send her home I'll be marching her straight to the hairdressers to get it cut short. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to her apparently.

I'm leaving dh to deal with her. As far as I'm concerned this is her problem to sort out, I told her not to do it and told her it wouldn't wash out.

AIBU?

And does anyone have any suggestions, other than bleach which I'm trying to avoid?

OP posts:

WeAllHaveWings · 23/04/2017 22:19

I think you are handling it just fine, tell her she needs to fix it for tomorrow, give her the options and tell her to decide whether to cut, she pays for dye in Asda, or she styles tomorrow so school is ok and she pays for hairdresser. If she can come up with another solution fair enough as long as school is ok and she pays for it.

It's a good lesson at 13 that they can't be bailed out all of the time. My ds is spending his money buying a new school jumper, not just because he misplaced his (Lyle and Scott xmas present), but because he never attempted after many requests and warnings to try to find it.

Pinkandwhiteblossoms · 23/04/2017 22:20

Good on her. All teenagers should do stupid stuff with their hair, experiment with awful fashions and have the odd stomp about at their parents. Much better than alcohol and drugs.

If it was my DD I'd just send in an apologetic note and ask for an amnesty until Tuesday, even if it means she has to work in isolation, which I think is pretty pathetic of the school anyway but if thems the rules and all.

Original poster

GreenHairDontCare · 23/04/2017 22:20

She wouldn't let me dye it brown. She was adamant it would have come out by now and she doesn't want to lose the blonde. Short of pinning her down, I couldn't force her.

OP posts:

NotMyPenguin · 23/04/2017 22:20

Dying it brown is cheaper than getting a hair cut, and she won't lose her long hair...

MargaretCavendish · 23/04/2017 22:20

I would give the school a ring tomorrow year and speak to her form tutor. Tell them what happened (though you're going to need to fib and say it happened today, as otherwise they're going to wonder, quite rightly, why on earth you didn't fix it sooner!) and emphasise that it'll be fixed tomorrow night. Why have her sent home and missing lessons if it can be avoided?

MargaretCavendish · 23/04/2017 22:21

Tomorrow year?! Sorry, I meant tomorrow morning!

manasaw · 23/04/2017 22:21

Dye it back brown

LinaBo · 23/04/2017 22:21

Look up sock bun on YouTube - works like a bun doughnut -, you'll have to ruin a sock but definitely hides ends. Good luck!

Original poster

GreenHairDontCare · 23/04/2017 22:22

I did no end of stupid shit at her age, tbf. Dying it bright orange with Sun In for one. But my school had no silly rules.

I do have sympathy (now she's stopped screaming and has gone to bed). But I just wish she'd listened to me.

OP posts:

StarryIllusion · 23/04/2017 22:23

I can't believe some of you are such doormats? Give her a cuddle. Pay for a hairdresser to sort it out. Go out at 10pm on a Sunday night looking for hair dye. Let her throw a sickie. Fuck no! She is THIRTEEN, was told not to do it and exactly what would happen, did it anyway and now she is throwing a screaming tantrum worthy of a two year old. Let her face the consequences and learn a lesson from it. What is she going to learn otherwise? Do what she wants regardless and bank of mum will sort it? Most I would be forking out is a tenner for a quick cut and she'd be paying me back for that. She is hardly a little child who doesn't know any better. We live and learn and we do it without screaming at our parents if we know what's good for us.

It is no ones business how much the OP chooses to spend on a treat dip dye that her daughter really wanted. It doesn't mean that she has to spend even more money, now that she has ruined it, to put it right.

Penfold007 · 23/04/2017 22:23

Surely adding a brown dye will turn her hair orange?

lalalalyra · 23/04/2017 22:24

If she puts it in a bun she'll be able to hide it surely? put it in a pony tail, fold pony tail in half to hide green under hair and then arrange from there.

Or a French twist - the ends are well tucked in on that.

I hid blue ends of hair for three months with buns and twists so she should be able to do something (with help) unless it's almost all of her hair.

bonbonours · 23/04/2017 22:24

My teenage cousin had a similar thing, couldn't get rid of a 'temporary' blue colour before school started. Her mum sent a very apologetic letter explaining that they would sorting it out asap and school were okay about it. I guess it depends on the school though.

I agree with all those who say a temporary solution is a bun with a bit of material or scarf wrapped round to hide it.

MrsA2015 · 23/04/2017 22:25

The spray on hair dyes or coloured mousse work pretty well over bleached hair, get the darkest colour you can find.

Bun or the chops otherwise!

ZilphasHatpin · 23/04/2017 22:26

Zilpha that is genius. That's the plan for tomorrow sorted.

You're very welcome! Can you tell I was a multicoloured teen?

Guitargirl · 23/04/2017 22:27

What Starry said.

DearMrDilkington · 23/04/2017 22:29

Try a dark blonde box dye. Then she won't completely lose the blonde and it will hopefully get rid of the green. You could get some purple shampoo to help lighten it again.

PeterHouseMD · 23/04/2017 22:29

Do you have a copy of Anne of Green Gables in the house?

lisara79 · 23/04/2017 22:30

I dyed my hair all sorts of colours when I was 13... the dip dye thing is really cool at the moment.... you just cover it up with a darker dye... mistakes happen. I really don't see why this is such a big deal.

Mummyh2016 · 23/04/2017 22:31

If you dye it brown make sure you get a colour with red undertones to counteract the green or it will go khaki.

WinBigly · 23/04/2017 22:31

Green is a bitch to get out., even bleach won't shift it. She'll probably have to dye it brown but make sure you put a red over the green bits first or it will likely go khaki.

I'm not sure how the school would regard half and half blonde/brown as a natural hair colour in the first place though.

WinBigly · 23/04/2017 22:33

Cross post with Mummy Perhaps we share past hair colour disasters!

Bunnyfuller · 23/04/2017 22:34

Dyeing hair at 13???

Shitonmyshoe · 23/04/2017 22:35

Colour B4 is your friend. Stick in a bun tomorrow and buy some cb4. It strips colour out back to natural colour

BigGrannyPants · 23/04/2017 22:35

Tomato sauce is good for taking colour out, you need to leave it in for ages though

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