To tell off another child at soft play?

[Embarrassedatsoftplay]

I saw a 5/6 year old repeatedly slapping my DD who's 2 years in the 0-3 area of soft play. I ran over immediately saying 'hey!' As she kept slapping her. I picked up dd who had been pummelled to the floor by other child and had red on one cheek and scratch marks, turned around, couldn't see parent and said 'you don't hit another child like' that in a shocked/raised (not shouting voice). I realise my panic transferred into the voice and I feel awful I didn't deal with it in calm and collected way, and just pick her up and find member of staff to deal with parent (who was in corner with headphones on, on phone facing away from soft play). This is first time I've seen DD be hit like this and I can see scratch marks on neck and arm but face has returned to normal colour. I know you're not meant to tell other people's kids of and I'm shaking/feeling awful.

Binky I'll sit there with a stop watch ensuring no child is more than 20 seconds on it yeah?

I know. I said ages back it was a wind up, yet here I am, still commenting. It's well done.

JustaKitten can you really, genuinely, not understand that the rule you are upset is not arbitrary?

It is logical, reasonable, rational (and other words which mean the opposite of arbitrary) to have a rule about not climbing up the slide in a busy setting where a lot of children who understand, and believe others to understand, that there will be children sliding down the slide at any point in time and no children climbing up it are all playing on the same equipment. There are reasons off efficiency and safety and cooperation and harmony for the rule - it is in the common interests of the community of children all trying to enjoy play in a limited space with a limited amount of equipment.

I'm not interested in this any more. I didn't even think this was an issue. I've explained my point, I doubt we will agree on it.

FWIW I like to think of myself as fairly free spirited.. my kids go out and do lots of running about and exploring and being a bit feral. But they do this in the woods and fields near where we live, not in a soft play centre or a busy park. If they want to throw sticks around or climb up and leap off trees, that's fine, but not if it's going to put anyone else in danger. Same thing applies with the slide issue. The rule is there to stop kids getting hurt. If everyone is going the same way and waiting for the child at the bottom to get up before sliding down themselves then it's all good. If someone like you comes along and starts letting your precious little baby climb all over the slide then it ruins everyone's fun doesn't it?

Binky I'll sit there with a stop watch ensuring no child is more than 20 seconds on it yeah? hmm

Nope - you step back, let the kids actually play together rather than an adult intervening and let each one slide down in turn. And if yours wants to climb, find some other way of facilitating that. It's really not difficult.

I was probably a bit like kitten when i had my first - didn't understand or think too hard about what playgrounds were for tbh and didnt think my toddler would understand rules anyway. But learning the simple rules like going up steps/down slide is really really important as numerous people have said for when they get to school and need to get along/play happily with others without a parent spotting them constantly. your kid will find all this out eventually, it would be easier if you start now

JustaKitten sometime it is okay to pick up people's kids when their parents are there - for example if the child is in danger of hurting themselves or somebody else.

However Binky and Don I suppose you are right, we should stop breaking the rule of not feeding the kitten or it will never go home to its real owner.

Embarrassedatsoftplay was clearly in the right apart from assuming the child was the age she randomly guessed though, so if the thread hadn't been derailed it would have petered out quickly in a boring soft patter of unanimous YANBUs...

I hate how unsupervised children are at softplay. My son often wants me to go round with him (age 4) and I have seen him have his hair pulled (other mum just pulled kid off and said "say sorry" but did nothing and let the kid carry on with no apology), grabbed by the shirt, pushed over and taunted. I always say something.
The other day a 2 yr old screamed at my one year old as she approached a toy car. Mum apologised and I brushed it off. That obviously gave her permission to ignore her daughter pushing mine over 5 mins later, (she saw as I heard her tell her friend what had happened). I often get followed by the kids whose parents are too involved in their phone to play with their child or even watch them every now and them and interact/praise. I wonder what these kids are like outside of softplay because they seem evil for the duration there.

It's possible to allow your child to explore, but at the same time teach them that there are situations when they can't have their own way.

Like other PPs I have always allowed DD to go up a slide if nobody else's is playing on it.
But of course if she's alone on a slide she can do as she pleases. I hate it when being free spirited is used as an excuse for being selfish and allowing children to behave how ever they want to even when it causes other people distress or upset.

oh dear, I feel very sorry for Kitten and her son, they clearly struggle with compliance and must find life incredibly difficult with all those annoying compliant parents and children out there. Kitten must be a troll as no one can be that obnoxious! Kitten if you are for real you really need to take a long hard look at the consequences of your parenting style, what he may get away with as a toddler will not be so easy when he is a teenager who has learnt no rules or social boundaries, good luck - you have been warned!

cheepandorm I don't even have that excuse! Am inflicting endless games of solo hide and seek on DH with the kids just so I can comment in this nonsense. More fool me

did kitten just say she didn't like people much? I do wonder why it's all so hard for her and so much easier for everyone else!

This poor thread has been thoroughly derailed OP. I hope we've all convinced you that you were 100% in the right, but if not, start another thread without the kitten.

Binky and cheepandorm

I told my dh I was dusting the bedside tables .... hes shouted about 15 times and iv still not dusted oooops!

I said I was checking if the washing was dry 😂

This reminds me of the classic "AIBU to let my kid take a super soaker to someone else's party?". I.e. 20 pages of MNetters saying "yes!" while OP insists she's not.

I'm curious to know how the toddler knows it's their turn if they haven't queued and waited like everyone else?
Do they queue and then walk to bottom of slide to climb up rather than slide down? Can other children take their turn whilst the little one is walking from queue to bottom of slide?
I suspect that little one rushes to slide starts climbing and the mother says "You all have to wait he's only tiny". Appalling attitude of entitlement. Not free spirit just plain spoilt and demanding.

I feel so sorry for some of the kids at soft play whose parents just don't bother.

A few weeks ago there was a little girl about 3ish asking her Mummy to come in and play for just five minutes. Her Mum said sorry x, but you know Mummy has to work.

Now I know how hard it is to work with kids around but 1) 5 minutes wouldn't hurt 2) the little girl was only little.

I've had many children latch themselves to me at sift play to DDs dismay. One even asked to come home with us(!).

Not unreasonable at all. I'd struggle to keep calm and I'm not an angry person but a 5/6 year old should know hottting is not ok.

JustAKitten It wasn't a threat, I would gently remove your child after you placed him in an unsafe situation.

Kitten must be a troll as no one can be that obnoxious!

Unfortunately I know parents whose snowflakes needs trump everyone else's and their kids are a handful (different sets of parents). They just can't see it. Everyone else is in the wrong.

Sorry OP, I've totally missed the point of the thread...YANBU

You dont have a sacred vagina that popped out the most wonderful child in the world