Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell off another child at soft play?

261 replies

Embarrassedatsoftplay · 23/04/2017 13:39

I saw a 5/6 year old repeatedly slapping my DD who's 2 years in the 0-3 area of soft play. I ran over immediately saying 'hey!' As she kept slapping her. I picked up dd who had been pummelled to the floor by other child and had red on one cheek and scratch marks, turned around, couldn't see parent and said 'you don't hit another child like' that in a shocked/raised (not shouting voice). I realise my panic transferred into the voice and I feel awful I didn't deal with it in calm and collected way, and just pick her up and find member of staff to deal with parent (who was in corner with headphones on, on phone facing away from soft play). This is first time I've seen DD be hit like this and I can see scratch marks on neck and arm but face has returned to normal colour. I know you're not meant to tell other people's kids of and I'm shaking/feeling awful.

OP posts:
TessTube · 23/04/2017 15:27

Got to love a soft play thread. Grin

dontpokethebear · 23/04/2017 15:27

Yes. You are.

Monkeydust · 23/04/2017 15:28

JustAKitten

My children would happily wait for you snowflake to get use the stairs to go down the side.
Your a dick who will risk the safety of every child because your brat doesnt listen to you.
I wish prats like you would be free spirited at home

SpreadYourHappiness · 23/04/2017 15:28

cantkeepawayforever Oh yes, you were absolutely in the wrong! If it was Justakitten's child, she'd call the authorities on you!

Better not to be a responsible adult again, I say!

WateryTart · 23/04/2017 15:28

But somehow I'm the dick.

yes, I think that makes it unanimous.

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 15:28

You lot have reminded me why as a whole, I don't really like people. Too concerned with arbitrary rules and themselves instead of tolerance, understanding and kindness. I would never let my DS push in or take another child's turn.

I'd also never tell him to "kick a child in the face"because they have the audacity to do something slightly differently and I'd never tell him that someone doing something differently is wrong.

I really despair of the world our kids are growing up in when people can't have any sort of patience.

LoopiusMaximus · 23/04/2017 15:29

TessTube Yes you'd hope so!

Myself and most others at the local soft play spend at least 50% of our time telling telling our kids to step away from the bottom of the slide so that the next person can have a go.

I could never actually work out what was so fascinating about standing there. Mine were obsessed at one point BUT now I know it's because they've seen OP's kid doing it Grin

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 15:30

Spread is not telling you she threatened to pick up my DS while I was watching him.

woodhill · 23/04/2017 15:30

Just are you planning to home educate. I think you have to conform a little if you want your ds to interact at nursery, school etc.

Monkeydust · 23/04/2017 15:30

Us awful parents looking out for everyones safety we should be ashamed.

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 15:31

woodhill he goes to a nursery, and he gets on really well. I don't think I'd be able to home educate because I don't think I have the skills to teach him everything, sadly

babybythesea · 23/04/2017 15:31

Two things strike me with the going up the slide thing.
One. In effect the child going up gets two turns. One, as he uses his time to climb up, and two, as he uses more time to go back down again. Unless he's lifted off at the top. And what kid likes that? Isn't the whizzing down the slide the bit they all want to do? So he's not getting his turn, he's getting two turns at once. Which would annoy me if my kid had been standing waiting patiently. (Annoys me even more when it's one kid going up, and down, and straight back up, with another child sitting waiting at the top, because they can't start going down because there is always the climber in the way and on the slide.)
Two. How long do you let it go on for? As in, by the time, they are using those covered tube slide things, what happens then if he wants to go up as you can't see anyone coming down? And it's not like that's ages away - DD2 was going down those at the age of 2. Isn't it better to teach him now, that while other people are around, you use the equipment this way, and then he will have more independence earlier? Otherwise, he engages in exploration now, and then you have to helicopter a lot longer as he just doesn't learn how to use stuff safely. So by the time my kid is really being imaginative and exploring, because she gets the basic safety rules and so can be trusted to a degree, yours is clueless and has to be followed closely, and taught those rules anyway, because now the equipment is more dangerous and requires him to follow the rules.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 23/04/2017 15:33

Kitten Genuinely interested, does your child go to childcare? And will they be going to school? If so, you're setting him up for a lot of issues! Children can't just do what they want in group situations, not because it's adults being draconian but because it's not safe!

teaandbiscuitsforme · 23/04/2017 15:33

Cross post

woodhill · 23/04/2017 15:33

That's good kittenSmile

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 15:33

Baby DS just runs off at the top along the platform. He wasn't bothered about coming down. When he wanted to do it again I made him wait for the others.

I haven't actually encountered tube slides yet, I'm scared of them (claustrophobia) and DS has shown no interest.

5moreminutes · 23/04/2017 15:36

JustAKitten What is your comment to me at 15:23 answering? I'm lost? Are you answering my question about why you think Spread is an overreaching mother who swoops down like a hawk and intervenes in other people's business" even though you yourself intervened in the other children's slide use by saying that Spread is overreaching because she is risk averse in reinforcing the accepted rules but you are not overreaching because you are breaking the implicit or explicit rules which the other children are following for your son?

You ask Binky "why am I in the wrong here and not those whose children can't tolerate waiting a minute for a younger child?" - you are asking multiple children to stop playing cooperatively in order for your child to effectively go the wrong way down a one way street.

Who would be in the wrong if an 18 year old drove down a one way street and met a 23 year old driving the right way? The person going the right way should smile tolerantly and reverse out of the way if they are an older, more experienced driver presumably? In fact the 18 year old's mum should probably block the entry to the road so that her DS can explore by driving in through the exit and down the one way street the wrong way...

babybythesea · 23/04/2017 15:37

Interesting though, just, that you see rule followers as lacking patience. I see it the opposite way entirely. To me, the patience is gown by the child who has been down, got off at the bottom, walked round, waited to climb the stairs and waited her turn to slide down again. It's not being shown by the person who stands there saying "everyone else stop what you are doing, my child wants to do this." And then, as I said, presumably takes two turns because his time to climb up is the same time as one person coming down, and then he gets to go down so gets another turn. All the children waiting then have to wait extra. I really can't see how this is those children being impatient, or intolerant. Or us, by saying we'd be annoyed if you did that to our kids.
And just out of interest, how do you see it playing out as he gets older? Say, one of those big rainbow slides where you can't hear people from the bottom to the top, where the stairs are somewhere else entirely so the climb up to the top of the slide is considerable! Do you expect him then to still be able to climb up? If not. When do you tell him that it's wrong? Genuinely interested.

BouncyFlouncy · 23/04/2017 15:38

I used to be a manager of a huge soft play centre, if I had witnessed any child climbing up any of the slides and the parents not stopping them let alone helping them, I would have asked them to leave the centre there and then. These places have detailed risk assessments and rules on things like slide climbing for a reason.

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 15:38

5 I think she's overreaching because she thinks it's okay to pick up people's kids when their parents are there.

I only told them to let him play.

The difference being both are mentally adults, and it carries larger risks...

Binkybix · 23/04/2017 15:39

ever let my DS push in or take another child's turn

You are letting him take other kid's turns because yours gets the equivalent of about 20 goes.

Many people have explained more eloquently than I can why you are in the wrong. If you don't get it, you just don't get it.

RagamuffinAndFidget · 23/04/2017 15:40

This thread is hilarious! I am loving (in a totally sarcastic way) the idea of a whole slide full of kids being pushed aside so a toddler can climb up in the name of 'free play' and 'exploration'! Amazing.

JustAKitten my youngest is nearly two (he's my third so I vaguely remember that his birthday is sometime in June) and he would have made this face Hmm if you'd told him to stop sliding DOWN the slide so that your kid could climb UP. He knows that the stairs are for climbing and the slide is for sliding, especially when it's busy. Yours would probably learn that too if you actually tried to teach him.

Spikeyball · 23/04/2017 15:41

Kitten don't pretend you are advocating for those who do things differently because you are not.

babybythesea · 23/04/2017 15:42

Ok. Posted my second thing before you'd answered my first post. Still throws up questions for me though. What if it's not a slide with a platform but with steps? Or is he able to get that different rules apply in different settings? Because that was a big one for my oldest Dd - took her a while to get the idea that sometimes things were allowed (eg when a place was really quiet, chocolate before breakfast on Easter Sunday) and sometimes they weren't (when a place was busy, or no chocolate before breakfast on normal days)So I just had blanket rules, until she wrapped her head around it.

donquixotedelamancha · 23/04/2017 15:42

"Spread I'd simply contact the authorities about someone touching my child without my consent and making us feel threatened and harassed. Trust me I'm not afraid of confrontation."

Is anyone reading this thread surprised that kitten is 'not afraid of confrontation'? Anyone?

I think this may be the best trolling (in the original sense of winding people up to derail a thread) I've seen in awhile on MN. It's polite, subtle and people are still feeding it, 100 posts later [applause].

Swipe left for the next trending thread