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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this child shouldn't show off this way?

340 replies

Fourtwenty · 22/04/2017 21:43

One of the children in my dd's school has taken a page out of a brochure and put it on the wrong of a clear plastic pencil case and has been showing everyone.

(She comes from a wealthy family so it's more than likely not a lie.)

Obviously I'm not saying this girl should say nothing. But I feel like it would almost be the equivalent of me buying a Porsche, taking photos of it and showing everyone at work.

I think everyone is entitled to nice things, but I don't think you should rub said things in everyone's face. Other way around I wouldn't want my dd cutting out our holiday from a brochure and taking it into school to show off.

OP posts:
pepsiandshirley · 22/04/2017 22:34

I actually had a pencil tin shaped like a Porsche when I was a child.

Good times..

KurriKurri · 22/04/2017 22:34

I think the holiday photo is fine.

Parading around showing off your plastic pencil case is not on though.(Will no one think of the children with furry pencil cases ?)

Therealslimshady1 · 22/04/2017 22:35

Yabu, weirdo!

Original poster
Fourtwenty · 22/04/2017 22:36

You need to back right off. You are way too involved in your daughter's business.

Give your daughter some space.

I'm sure you think you're being supportive - but you're not. It's her life. You're there to be a sounding-board, to give support, advice, love ... but most of all, to give her the space to become an adult.

You've lost your distance on this one.

Oh my days what are you going on about? Confused

What do you think I do, interrogate her? She told me, off her own back.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 22/04/2017 22:36

In the words of Manuel
(Fawlty Towers)
"Que"ConfusedGrin

WinBigly · 22/04/2017 22:37

What a splendidly bitter and unpleasant thread about a 12 year old. Well done OP, hope you feel better now you've spat out some of that bile.

HorridHenryrule · 22/04/2017 22:38

How does your dd feel about it is she a bit jealous.

CaulkheadNorth · 22/04/2017 22:39

My cousin used to have a picture of our grandparents house on her pencil case because she missed them and it made her happy to see it.

Maybe everything in this girls life is a bit shit right now and the holiday is the only thing she is really feeling hopeful about. Or maybe she is just a child and excited.

Why does it matter? If other children are going home telling parents that they are jealous then that gives a great opportunity to have a conversation about different types of family or wealth or priorities or whatever.

AtomHeart · 22/04/2017 22:40

It's a lesson. Some people have more stuff that we do. That's life. So what?

reuset · 22/04/2017 22:41

I wouldn't give it much thought. People show off about all sorts of things, this sounds very low level. She's probably excited about her holiday.

Buttercupsandaisies · 22/04/2017 22:41

Wow, your reaction is so odd. It's totally normal behaviour and so what if she's showing off?! All kids show off - it sounds like your DD can't maybe handle her emotions if she's coming home complaining about it. It's honestly odd that you don't consider it normal

thecatfromjapan · 22/04/2017 22:43

Your dd told you to fuck off?

There you go. You're so over-involved with this, that your dd is telling you to back off. If you don't stop from the emotional over-investment, she's going to stop telling you things - and that is something you should worry about.

FoodGloriousFud · 22/04/2017 22:43

She's a child excited about a holiday! I think you're being really nasty to be slagging off a child. You might also want to learn how to write a post that makes sense. Unless it was your bitterness getting in way?!

Emboo19 · 22/04/2017 22:43

An almost teen showing off a bit. That must be a first!
YABVU! Even if she's been a bit bratty about it. You're an adult why is it bothering you?

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 22/04/2017 22:43

I don't get what the problem is.

Fruitcocktail6 · 22/04/2017 22:43

What's a YABO?

Obnoxious maybe, it would fit.

You do realise that your OP didn't mention anything about a holiday brochure or what the pictures were of, just 'brochure'. That's why everyone was so confused.

Starlight2345 · 22/04/2017 22:44

12 year olds are not aware of what others don't get.. She is excited..Should she pretend she doesn't go somewhere nice.

I am assuming your DD is jelous as you say it is an emotion you can't control. You need to talk to your DD about dealing with people having more than her.

minionsrule · 22/04/2017 22:44

To put it in context in my world - DS is 11, until this year we either holidayed in the UK for went to DH's home country (that was our main holiday as far flung but not incredibly exciting as DS got older). We never had a European 'beach' holiday.

This year we have been abroad twice to Europe, one a beach holiday, DS was so excited to be going places his friends go to and experiencing something new - I doubt his mates would have been Hmm if he had taken in a pic of where we were going.

Give the girl a break

coolaschmoola · 22/04/2017 22:44

Bitching about a child exhibiting totally normal behaviour...

Pathetic.

MammaTJ · 22/04/2017 22:44

A 12 year old is excited about her holiday!

You are jealous and upset.

Get over yourself.

FYI, I am skint, I cannot afford a holiday but I manage to not get upset and jealous when other kids do things I cannot afford for my kids.

TheRealPooTroll · 22/04/2017 22:45

Maybe some people will be jealous but that's an emotion that people have to cope with. Everyone will have the experience of wanting something they can't have at some point.
Unless the child is going around saying 'look where I'm going and you're not because you're poor' then I think yabu. For all we know the girl might be having a hard time and has put the picture there to keep her spirits up?

MadMags · 22/04/2017 22:45

OP have you really re-read your post and not seen a problem?

It's practically gibberish!

scootinFun · 22/04/2017 22:50

So she's excited over a holiday - I don't see the harm! Kids that are interested will chat about it with her, kids that couldn't give a monkey's won't. No problem.
We haven't had a holiday for 4 years - and my kids and I would be interested in others holidays but not bitter.

FrancisCrawford · 22/04/2017 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberNectarine · 22/04/2017 22:51

What? The kid is excited about her holiday.

I mean, what?

Children have to get used to the fact that some people of their acquaintance will be wealthier and have more in material terms. See Facebook. I don't think 12 is a particularly young age to learn that.

Yes, as we mature most of us develop some modesty and tact (though not all), but it's a little much to expect of a pre-teen, who, in real terms, probably understand the cost. Wealth is a fairly nebulous concept until you start earning.