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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this child shouldn't show off this way?

340 replies

Fourtwenty · 22/04/2017 21:43

One of the children in my dd's school has taken a page out of a brochure and put it on the wrong of a clear plastic pencil case and has been showing everyone.

(She comes from a wealthy family so it's more than likely not a lie.)

Obviously I'm not saying this girl should say nothing. But I feel like it would almost be the equivalent of me buying a Porsche, taking photos of it and showing everyone at work.

I think everyone is entitled to nice things, but I don't think you should rub said things in everyone's face. Other way around I wouldn't want my dd cutting out our holiday from a brochure and taking it into school to show off.

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 23/04/2017 12:42

I've just had to check the holiday brochure next to me to check this isn't my dd.

It isn't, pages are still there.

She's mega excited. At 12 it's not about her being one up on others itsjust sheer joy at something nice that's happening to her.

My colleague at work has a photo of her dog on her desk. I'd love a dog but dh is severely allergic so it's a no go. Should I be annoyed?

GinIsIn · 23/04/2017 12:44

untilthelastpetalfalls How interesting that you feel that way. I happen to feel differently. I wasn't aware you had written the MN rule book and my 8 years here wasn't enough to judge for myself - my apologies.

It is entirely relevant to highlight to people that the OP appears to be after a rise and the chance to put others down. It may affect the amount of energy people put into engaging with her. Also, I did not mention a previous post, which would indeed be too much detail, and perhaps poor form. I highlighted the existence of another thread the OP currently has running in active topics. Not the same thing. HTH.

Bluntness100 · 23/04/2017 12:47

Fenella you do not need to justify posting within forum guidelines to random members who decide they have a whole different set of rules. The only time you may wish to justify is if you break the real forum guidelines and mnhq pulls you up, but even then still your choice. You certainly don't have to justify posting outwith ludicrous made up rules by other posters..

Empireoftheclouds · 23/04/2017 12:48

I suppose I'm just fortunate enough that I've never had money issues and could book a holiday at any time to anywhere. I guess that's why I can't get over the crassness of shoving nice things in the face of those less fortunate

Have you ever heard of irony Hmm

GinIsIn · 23/04/2017 12:49

Bluntness and miss the chance to be a bit passive aggressive to someone trying to tell me what I can and can't do...? Grin

Untilthelastpetalfalls · 23/04/2017 12:51

I've been on here 10 years. HTH. Smile

GinIsIn · 23/04/2017 12:53

So perhaps your rule book is a bit out of date then.....

MiltopMighty · 23/04/2017 12:54

Yep. I agree fenella

Loads of long time MNers reference other posts -AS is our friend!

Emboo19 · 23/04/2017 13:00

I suppose I'm just fortunate enough that I've never had money issues and could book a holiday at any time to anywhere. I guess that's why I can't get over the crassness of shoving nice things in the face of those less fortunate but yes yes aibu .... now fight over the crunbs of that my little ... I want to say vultures but pidgeos is definitely more fitting. Kisses xx

Oh dear, you're one of those!! Your heart bleeds for the poor children having others rub their noses in the lovely holidays they get to go on.
While you take your dd on 3+ holidays a year!
I'm guessing she doesn't talk about her holidays to those less fortunate though, or maybe not even associate with them at all. I mean if they came round to your house, it would surely be rubbing their noses in everything your dd has, that they might not!

Untilthelastpetalfalls · 23/04/2017 13:08

So perhaps your rule book is a bit out of date then.....

No you just have a shit attitude.

I read the other thread and it's not even goady. People seem to gasp actually be enjoying it.

newdaddie · 23/04/2017 13:10

I understand where you're coming from OP but YABU imho as u can't force other people's children to have the same values yours do i.e. Humility & tact. A better strategy for the long term might be to sit dd down and teach her how to cope with the unfair things life is bound to throw at her eventually. My dd is the cutest most genius dd in the world but one day she may be forced to share oxygen with imbeciles who don't recognise that.

Birdsgottaf1y · 23/04/2017 13:16

""Yes there's being happy without being jealous (however I do believe jealousy is an emotion you can't control.)""

Of course you can learn to control jealousy. It's very telling that you think that you can't.

Do you say this to your DD? I can remember when mine were entering the young teen years (and before) and teaching them to not be envious of others. This is a really important lesson, a lot of spite is leveled at other teens, because of jealously.

You should have also picked upon your DD calling it odd. My DD would have asked for my help to think about why something was done, rather than label someone odd.

You looked for badness in her actions and haven't taken on board anything that anyone has said, which is a shame for your DD.

Epipgab · 23/04/2017 13:18

I feel like it would almost be the equivalent of me buying a Porsche, taking photos of it and showing everyone at work.

No, not the same at all. A 12-year old child does not have the same social awareness as an adult. Have you been unfailingly sensible, considerate and emotionally intelligent from the age of 12 upwards?

This girl is not your child so why does this matter to you? Even if some people think YANBU what would you want to do about it? Complain to other people about this child and her parents, behind their backs, about what show-offs you think they are?

I can't get over the crassness of shoving nice things in the face of those less fortunate

How do you know how the less fortunate feel?

WinBigly · 23/04/2017 13:19

I thought this thread had run its course but looks like newdaddie is giving it another kickstart. This should be fun .... Halo

MiltopMighty · 23/04/2017 13:20

My dd is the cutest most genius dd in the world but one day she may be forced to share oxygen with imbeciles who don't recognise that.

🙄 Oh come on, you are just baiting here - no one actually says things like that.

massi71 · 23/04/2017 13:25

Why are you so invested in what a random child is doing?

How does it affect YOU?

GinIsIn · 23/04/2017 13:27

untilthepetalfalls Other posters agree with me, and not with you so evidence begs to differ.

Interesting that you keep telling my I have "shit form" and a "shit attitude" yet you are the only one being rude. Physician, heal thyself....

Beeziekn33ze · 23/04/2017 13:39

OP - looks like your DD really wants a holiday in this mysterious unidentified destination.

floraeasy · 23/04/2017 13:44

This is pure Daily Mail fodder Grin

bigmac4me · 23/04/2017 13:56

I've taken a few nibbles but not bitten and unfortunately for many of you that crave that ... well it's not going to happen because your words don't hurt me

Words may not, but a page torn out of a holiday brochure does?!?!

newdaddie · 23/04/2017 14:01

Miltop I say things like that

HorridHenryrule · 23/04/2017 14:29

I agree with you newdaddie.

FeedMyFaceWithBattenberg · 23/04/2017 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pilates · 23/04/2017 14:33

Op, jeez she is a child! Forget it FGS. To actually post on MN is truly unbelievable and your further posts are just weird.

Turquesa · 23/04/2017 15:39

This teacher is a loon. Something about this child has made her insecure - maybe she's super clever, popular, beautiful or whatever. Maybe she compares this child to her own? Maybe she's jealous of the girls mother, or fancies the father - who knows?

DC are growing up in the age of Instagram and Facebook where "showing stuff" seems to have become the norm. Kids cut allsorts out of magazines. Who knows why and who cares?