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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this child shouldn't show off this way?

340 replies

Fourtwenty · 22/04/2017 21:43

One of the children in my dd's school has taken a page out of a brochure and put it on the wrong of a clear plastic pencil case and has been showing everyone.

(She comes from a wealthy family so it's more than likely not a lie.)

Obviously I'm not saying this girl should say nothing. But I feel like it would almost be the equivalent of me buying a Porsche, taking photos of it and showing everyone at work.

I think everyone is entitled to nice things, but I don't think you should rub said things in everyone's face. Other way around I wouldn't want my dd cutting out our holiday from a brochure and taking it into school to show off.

OP posts:
memyselfandaye · 22/04/2017 22:20

It's a holiday ffs, just that, a holiday.

That's what people from all over the world do every day, go on holiday.

Jesus, it's not like the kid took her platinum and diamond encrusted unicorn to school and rubbed the other kids noses in its rainbow scented shit.

Jealousy is such an ugly emotion, epecially from a grown up, and you are jealous no matter how much you deny it.

WorraLiberty · 22/04/2017 22:21

But I feel like it would almost be the equivalent of me buying a Porsche, taking photos of it and showing everyone at work.

Actually I have to say, I can't see a problem with that either? Confused

In fact, surely most people would ask if you had any photos on your phone anyway?

Passmethecrisps · 22/04/2017 22:21

I think you need to let it go OP. The wee girl really hasn't done anything wrong and you haven't mentioned anyone being harmed or bothered by her behaviour.

I am not sure if I agree that jealousy cannot be controlled but even if it can't we can't expect everyone around us to hide anything that we might not have

JigglyTuff · 22/04/2017 22:22

So your DD is jealous and you've taken what she said as gospel.

Jealousy is an ugly emotion. You should be discouraging it, not fuelling it.

aprilanne · 22/04/2017 22:23

she is a child .for goodness sake the fact others don,t even get a day trip as you said is hardly her fault .my eldest son was 14 before we could afford to go abroad always holiday here previously .that does,nt mean other children should not have spoken about there holidays abroad .

thecatfromjapan · 22/04/2017 22:24

How come you're in this child's class? Are you a TA? I'm guessing you're not a teacher.

If you're a TA, I'd expect you to be more forgiving about what kid's do, to be honest. I'm not sure it's the job for you if you're getting this wound up about a child's behaviour.

TinselTwins · 22/04/2017 22:24

Yes there's being happy without being jealous (however I do believe jealousy is an emotion you can't control.)

There's actually nothing wrong with feeling envy, kids don't need protecting from that, it's only wrong if you react to it the way you have OP, others don't respond to envy in this way, I'm massively envious of a friend's amazing new house, and that's okay! I don't think she shouldn't be delighted and showing it off though

P.s. you are massively insulting "fragile" kids like mine who don't go on foreign holidays - trust me my kids'll be interested in others holidays, maybe a bit envious, but they'll be fine!

MagentaRocks · 22/04/2017 22:24

I'm assuming you don't have Facebook then op? In a year or so time she will be plastering stuff on Facebook like most people do, why is putting a picture in her pencil case different?

It's natural to be excited about things. Nothing wrong with showing people.

B0rn2H00la · 22/04/2017 22:25

She's still a child and probably really excited? We didn't go holidays abroad when I was a kid, but I went to school during the era when Spanish holidays became the norm and didn't grudge the other kids going to Benidorm etc. To me it was just something that 'other families' did, and we weren't really brought up to be jealous of other people's things?

When you look at other people having nice things, and have negative thoughts and emotions about it, I think it says more about you than it does them. Particularly when you consider that this is a child we are taking about.

bimbobaggins · 22/04/2017 22:27

Yabu. And weird and rude. Can't see anything wrong with what she's done. What's the well used phrase on mumsnet
" comparison is the thief of joy " .
This may be her first ever holiday after only ever having a lifetime of day trips .

thecatfromjapan · 22/04/2017 22:27

Oh! You're not even in this child's class! It's what your dd has told you!

You need to back right off. You are way too involved in your daughter's business.

Give your daughter some space.

I'm sure you think you're being supportive - but you're not. It's her life. You're there to be a sounding-board, to give support, advice, love ... but most of all, to give her the space to become an adult.

You've lost your distance on this one.

Sugarformyhoney · 22/04/2017 22:27

Teenagers do show off and this all sounds very normal. Bizarre that s grown woman would take exception to this?

Passmethecrisps · 22/04/2017 22:27

What are we supposed to be fishing for anyway?

FrogsLegs31 · 22/04/2017 22:29

You definitely wouldn't like me then OP Grin

I put a countdown on my board for my Easter holiday and my students were eager to hear about it. Then when I got back I put some photos of a frog, sunset etc on the wall so that when they asked (which a huge number did) I could show them.

I spent all year hearing about their birthday plans, going to the cinema, going on holiday, new house, new siblings, new dog, new moped and going to town with their friends at the weekend. I'm sure it's you that's BU sorry

thecatfromjapan · 22/04/2017 22:29

Seriously, the great thing about not being a teenager any more is that you don't have to be a teenager any more. You don't have to get wound up by irrelevant shit.

You can have a glass of win, or gin, instead. Revel in the freedom. Appreciate it.

Namesarehard · 22/04/2017 22:29

Are you on any medication? I've read some posts on there in my time but this one is right up there.
Have a think what you're saying. 12 year old is going on holiday. 12 year old is excited and has taken a photo on to show her class. You think this is wrong.
I'm completely puzzled to how you can think this. It's not the kids that are jealous, it's you. Has your child come home and told you? Can you not take yours on holiday so now your talking about a child on the Internet who is going? It's not her fault others can't go. Doesn't mean she can't tell her friends that she's excited about it.
Absolutely bonkers.😂

HorridHenryrule · 22/04/2017 22:30

How old is the child?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 22/04/2017 22:31

There are some very odd threads around here at the moment.

HorridHenryrule · 22/04/2017 22:32

Dc are 12 it's more guilt on your part I'm sure if you explain to dd she will understand. Can you save for a nice holiday somewhere.

HelenaWay · 22/04/2017 22:32

Who says it is a picture of a holiday destination?

The OP just says a picture from a brochure.

user1489179512 · 22/04/2017 22:32

Love the Saturday night comment. Haha

notborntothemanor · 22/04/2017 22:32

YABU. She's probably just excited. Let it go.

pepsiandshirley · 22/04/2017 22:32

I don't even get how you know about this.

Presumably your child told you?

I'm trying to picture my DD telling me this and me responding with anything other than "that's nice dear" then letting it leave my brain immediately.

user1489179512 · 22/04/2017 22:33

The OP makes no sense, however.

Allthebestnamesareused · 22/04/2017 22:34

If she was that rich she'd be at an independent school Grin