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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this child shouldn't show off this way?

340 replies

Fourtwenty · 22/04/2017 21:43

One of the children in my dd's school has taken a page out of a brochure and put it on the wrong of a clear plastic pencil case and has been showing everyone.

(She comes from a wealthy family so it's more than likely not a lie.)

Obviously I'm not saying this girl should say nothing. But I feel like it would almost be the equivalent of me buying a Porsche, taking photos of it and showing everyone at work.

I think everyone is entitled to nice things, but I don't think you should rub said things in everyone's face. Other way around I wouldn't want my dd cutting out our holiday from a brochure and taking it into school to show off.

OP posts:
llangennith · 23/04/2017 00:15

OP what is wrong with you? A child puts a photo of a holiday destination in her pencil case and you have a problem with this??? ffs

Zoflorabore · 23/04/2017 00:15

To clarify-
Ds will be missing 5 days of school and dd will miss none.
That's why teacher rang- ds has excellent attendance and was asked to write a letter to the head and they will decide whether to authorise.
And sorry for such a long post above!

callmeadoctor · 23/04/2017 00:16

And I would answer that she is 12, she is happy, that is good!

ohnothisisme · 23/04/2017 00:17

I personally find it odd to show everyone in your class where you're going

You understand nothing about kids obviously. And yet you have one. Confused

Jux · 23/04/2017 00:19

One of my colleagues got a really good deal on a holidy over the Easter holidays. So she was very excited and showed us all where she and children were going - online hotel pics beautiful beaches, 5 star place.

DH, DD and I stayed at home over Easter as w can't afford to go away. At best, dd and dh will camp in England for a few days in the summer. i shan't be getting a holiday at all. My colleague knew this.

I was almost as excited as she was, and couldn't wait for the day she returned to work to check out her tan, hear her descriptions and adventures, what she and the kids got up to.

Should she have kept quiet about it? That would have deprived me of quite a lot of pleasure from hearing about it all when she came back.

SemiNormal · 23/04/2017 00:22

It's natural for people to feel envious sometimes but you can't expect others to hide their excitement or not be proud of things just to spare other peoples feelings. If my son gets jealous then I teach him how to deal with those feelings in a healthy way, I remind him that if he wants XY and Z then he needs to knuckle down at school and get good grades (I know grades aren't everything but he's 6 and messes about ....). I tell him some people are lucky and have inherited a lot of money or won the lottery but that most people work very hard for nice things. You can use this as a lesson or you can join in with the sniping and 'it's not fair'.

Zoflorabore · 23/04/2017 00:23

I love it when kids are excited about things, even if they do have lots of holidays etc it shows that they appreciate and don't take them for granted i.e. " I'm going on another holiday next week yawn " which I've heard myself.

I love being pleased for people who do well or have nice things, hate jealousy, and bitterness shows in your face.

We live in a society fuelled by social media and our dc are exposed to many celebs, YouTubers etc who are living the high life, my dc know that this isn't the norm and are grateful to have the nice but humble life we lead.

WinBigly · 23/04/2017 00:24

I hope your DS gets the time off approved Zoflorabore and you have a lovely holiday Flowers. Holidays are so exciting for children, makes up for us jaded adults stressing about getting to the airport on time etc.!

Zoflorabore · 23/04/2017 00:27

Win- thank you very much:)

It's extremely stressful as ds is severely anxious about airports and flying so the fact that he is so excited is distracting him from that and as a direct result I'm a lot calmerGrin

ollieplimsoles · 23/04/2017 00:29

I'm not jealous of anyone going on holiday. I've been fortunate enough to go to some amazing locations and have lived abroad quite a few times in my life.

How is a 12 year old girl showing 'everyone' in a class of children where she is going on holiday different to you saying that ^ some posters on this thread might have been deprived of a holiday all their lives? Confused weird thread.

Persemillion · 23/04/2017 00:35

Confused OP doesn't make sense at all. A non-issue.

user1489179512 · 23/04/2017 00:42

This is a surreal OP.
Fact.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 23/04/2017 00:57

I don't know if the OP will be back since you all "literally assassinated" her. 😂😂😂

Be a bit honest, OP. Your DD came home all shocked and jealous of this kid's holiday and instead of telling her she was being unreasonable, you got all upset about it too. So upset that you actually started a thread with a bit of class nonsense thrown in to validate your mean feelings.

Don't pretend you don't care. You refer to it as "showing off" and say she shouldn't do it. Saying she's showing off implies intent to put herself above others. She is 12.

The kids are 12. You need to grow up and set a good example for your daughter.

B0rn2H00la · 23/04/2017 01:05

How naive are people saying that friends would be 'happy for you' shoving your wealth in their faces? This isn't a wonderful magic land of happiness. People are envious shits most of the time.

Our tv is shit, it's tiny, the picture is crap and I've personally repaired the thing to make it last us a while longer. We're fantasising about being able to afford a new one this year or maybe next. An acquaintance was in my place of work today, and and we spoke most of the time about his amazing new telly that he bought himself today. I told him, tongue in cheek that I was 'so jealous' because our telly is shit and laughed about it. It's nice that he is going home tonight to enjoy his new telly, but now I wonder from reading this thread if he was actually flaunting his wealth in our face! Perhaps I should be talking to my other half about what a boastful shit this guy was? Maybe he should have kept his new tv as a shameful secret and never told a soul. I'm actually fighting the urge to start a thread about this...

MenopausalRubbish · 23/04/2017 01:12

such a funny thread

I get where you are coming from OP, but they are children - so the child in question doesn't realise they are being insensitive and the other children may not have thought that they wish they were going on a big holiday.

Epipgab · 23/04/2017 01:16
Hmm
MiscellaneousAssortment · 23/04/2017 01:32

This is silly. I would write a long response but most other posters have it covered Smile

TinselTwins · 23/04/2017 01:34

How naive are people saying that friends would be 'happy for you' shoving your wealth in their faces? This isn't a wonderful magic land of happiness. People are envious shits most of the time

nah, there's a difference between being envious about something nice that someone else has and longing for it for yourself, and being bitter that the other person has something you don't!

There's nothing unhealthy about the former and people shouldn't censor their enjoyment incase someone thinks "ooo I wish I had that for myself". If it's the latter then the person thinking that is an ass, and the other person shouldn't censor their enjoyment for fear of giving a bitter person something else to be bitter about

StillHungryy · 23/04/2017 01:47

YABU

nokidshere · 23/04/2017 01:47

I've not had a holiday for 5 years SadI'm very jealous that you went away at Easter and have 2 more holidays planned. But I'd still be pleased for you and want to hear about it.

When I finally get to go somewhere later this year I'm going to be telling anyone who wants (or doesn't want) to listen Smile

12 yr olds have no social graces really - I expect she is just very excited. I'm glad my own boys are able to be interested (real or feigned) in their friends plans.

Vaus · 23/04/2017 02:05

Bragging is a very undesirable quality and if my child went out of their way to show off anything they had that others didn't, I'd be very disappointed with their behaviour.

kali110 · 23/04/2017 02:21

You've seriously reread your op Confused
It makes absolutely no sense!

One of the children in my dd's school has taken a page out of a brochure and put it on the wrong of a clear plastic pencil case and has been showing everyone.

A brochure of what?? A wrong what??

Is it a holiday picture? Where has she put it?
What does it matter!
Kids used to stick pictures of everything to anything when i was at school, nobody cared!
Let her stick whatever to whatever, she's not hurting anybody!
She's a child.
I stuck pictures of animals and tv stars to my stuff!

ilovechoc1987 · 23/04/2017 02:41

There tends to always be at least one boastful child in every class. I agree being boastful isn't the best attribute to ones character.
My daughter has a boaster in her class, and I just explain to my daughter that (the boaster in question) is raised by her grandmother, which allows her mother to work really hard (she works abroad) and that's why she gets to have all the fancy holidays, parties, and smiggle pencil cases.
I tell my daughter that although we go to haven camp sites for our holidays, I'm there for her everyday, there for her for every special event and during the half term as well. My daughter is happy with my explanation.
You don't need fancy holidays or stuff or even loads of money to feel rich.

Blueskyonthehorizon · 23/04/2017 02:44

You are not doing yourself any favours here, OP. Esp when you started bragging about your own holidays and getting really defensive and shirty.

It's such a non event I suggest you forget it and don't start any more silly threads.

BlueChairs · 23/04/2017 03:03
  1. your first post didn't really make sense.
  2. you're slaying a twelve year old and calling her a show off but when people say you're being mean you accuse them of character assassination ?
  3. your replies are smarmy to an overwhelmingly cohesive response - we don't know you, it's not a vendetta, everyone just thinks you're wrong ...
  4. yes it's a little show off of the girl but she's 12, they're not that smart and maybe some of her friends asked her to show them so she brought it in, you weren't there, you don't know the information.