To be utterly disgusted and depressed that women think its ok to make small penis gags?

[deffonamechange]

Just been reading a thread further down where yes some scumbag bloke had been horrible to someone. Lots of outrage and tell him he has a small dick, tell him he has a micro penis basically mock the size of his genitals.

Can you imagine if a woman upset a bloke and all his mates said tell her she has awful labia, tell her her fanny is horrible, tell her she doesnt look normal down there
Its horrific!!

Do you know how many lovely men with smaller penises get inundated with this? Do you know how many teenage boys worry themselves to death because of comments like these?

Its depressing/sexist/cruel and plain nasty. You should be ashamed of yourselves!

Feed that should say.

Yanbu at all op.

Or it could be because the woman doing the insulting are lazy/possibly not intelligent enough to think of a better insult.

You've summed it up for me worra !
Handmaidens, yes what a surprise, the usual insult along with cool wives

Totally agree Spartacus. Lost count os the times I have been in male comapny with them giving dick size debates/insults. Bigus Dickus etc. And mostly in a work environment. It is all part of the male culture. It's not female culture. If women do it, it's all a bit laddish etc

Exactly. I see and hear men making testicle and penis jokes / comments and insults far more than I see and hear women doing this. In many male oriented environments they seem quite obsessed with their cocks and balls and not having a big enough dick or the balls for something is quite a common put down for a man who they consider is not acting with the right level of dominant masculinity.

There was a very similar thread late last year by the way.

Yes worra i have never needed to reaort that retort either

Valentine - i think that's the thing. Most people don't realise the effect their words could have on the innocent nice men (or women) who are affected by these insults.

four - I have no words for your ignorance. By all means give them a dose back but bear a thought for the innocent men of small size overhearing your crass comments and being affected. Use your brain and come up with an insult more appropriate to their arseholeness, instead of bandying insults around that won't mean a thing to them anyway if its not true.

Wedrine4me agreed! it seems because SOME men are insulting and derogatory, it doesn't matter if they all get insulted by the tiny penis comment.

Fgs people take the piss out of themselves, joke whatever. It is obviously ok to laugh at yourself not for someone else to laugh at you

No, not about themselves ... about other men - I.e. 'he didn't have the balls for it' or 'he's a softcock' or comments re penis size.

I think it is all tied up with deeper notions of masculinity personally.

I am a secondary school teacher and some of the worst bullying, body shaming insults come from girls about other girls. Ask teachers about the bullying problem in all girl schools. If some of you are suggesting it is ok to throw body shaming insults around, do you also think you are setting a good example to young women?

Wed, I'm not ignorant at all. Did you read my original post before you got on your soap box? Probably not.

Body-shaming is awful, and people should be called out on it. Bullying men over the size of their penis is inexcusable.

I think if the OP had started from that premise, it would be hard to disagree at all...

BUT she didn't; she started with an example in which a man had been waving his male privilege all over the place ("I'm a man; you must care how attractive you are to me; it's all about my approval of your - and my wife's - appearance.")

OK - still not great to sort of legitimatise body-shaming with the 'small dick' retort, but I think we can all see that the idea was very specifically to attack his macho bullshit in the most symbolic way... so not really actual body-shaming, imo.

And, let's be honest, it's men who've nurtured the whole penis worship thing over the ages. I'd also be willing to bet it's men who use the 'small penis' put down in public more than women. On MN, yes, women do go for it a bit on threads like the one cited - but usually only when prompted by arsehole male behaviour.

I have no excuses for the blatant cruelty of women loudly slagging off ex partners due to penis size though...

This thread does smack a little of the 'ooh, let's catch feminists out, shall we' vibe... Not from the OP, but from others. I'll concede that it's probably true that a bit of double standards creeps in very occasionally, when women think 'enough of this BS' and aren't AS strict at pulling up roughly equivalent behaviour when it flows the other way. Yeah, that might happen I guess. But it's the level of joy that some people get from pointing out the (relatively speaking) small amounts of 'sexist' behaviour flowing the other way that seems so... inappropriate.

Again, not actually you OP, but there are some who positively orgasm every time there's a tiny little hint of inequality displayed from women towards men. There's this idea that, since women have decided to, you know, reject THOUSANDS of years of abuse and bullshit, and to campaign for equality, they'd better fucking make sure those scales are PERFECTLY calibrated, because if there's even the tiniest shift towards women, while we're busy sifting through all the eons of shit and trying to make things equal, we will come down on you like a ton of fucking bricks.

Just my thoughts on the matter.

" think we both know it's more often than not the former there Bertrand, rather than the latter"

Actually, no. I don't know that. I know that's what non feminists say. But I don t agree.

itsmine
Yeah, I get that, and you're right - of course, nasty comments are unacceptable.

I was just referring to a certain vibe that I don't like... the desperate need to hunt out potentially unfair behaviour from women on grounds of sex, blow it wildly out of proportion, and use it to try and undermine feminism as a whole.

Not suggesting that you do that.

Valentine..thank you for posting. I know most women dont realise the effect it has on nice decent men with body issues but if it makes one person think twice about saying it then that's great.

Wedrine4me it seems that according to the über-feminists on here that there is no such thing as a nice man and if you think there is, then you are a "handmaiden". Which is a fucking insult.

The endless rhetoric on this thread that "every man abuses and assaults every woman" is just histrionic bullshit. The men in my immediate family are good men. They love their mothers, their wives, their daughters. The have never abused or assaulted a woman. It's fucking disgusting to imply that by default of being men that they are somehow sub-human monsters. Now granted, that's my small sample of 6, but even that puts a hole in your "all men are shit" narrative.

MerchantofVenice i've heard more women usethe penis insult than men, and like mrsmuddlepies states, i've had more women body shame me than men!

Who said "all men are shit"??

There is a crucial difference (not being sardonic here - being entirely straight-faced as it's so important) between acknowledging that as a sex men have abused women as a sex since the dawn of time and claiming that 'all men are shit'.

The vast majority of men I know are very nice, decent, caring people. Some of them (hell, most of them) have deeply ingrained residue of ages-old male privilege in their behaviour somewhere - it's not actually their fault it's there. Many many women also have these ingrained sexist values in there. It doesn't make anyone a 'bad person' to be a product of their culture.

Feminism tries to draw attention to these injustices. As a feminist, I'd say feminism overwhelmingly gets it right, because it has to, and because it's a movement generated by critical thought. Occasionally, it might take a wrong step. And BOY do we know about it!

kali Not doubting your experience. If you've had more women body-shaming you than men, I'd say it's atypical. However, I would also say that the sort of shaming you'd get is still sexist, whether it's coming from a man or a woman. Women can be highly misogynistic!

The sexism is inherent in the ideals against which women are being compared; hence, body-shaming for women is about being too hairy (men are allowed to be) or about being too fat (men are allowed more variation here) or about wearing 'unsuitable' clothes or about having breasts that are the wrong size/shape.

All sexist bullshit, whoever it comes from!

"Wedrine4me it seems that according to the über-feminists on here that there is no such thing as a nice man and if you think there is, then you are a "handmaiden". Which is a fucking insult. "

I know lots of nice men. And I am an uber-feminist!

"Yes what a shame some on mn only seem able to so by talking to women like they're stupid. Don't you think it's even a tiny bit ironic? "

Why not engage with the women who don't do that? You do seem to ignore any posts that don't fit your narrative.

Yes what a shame some on mn only seem able to so by talking to women like they're stupid. Don't you think it's even a tiny bit ironic?

Oh, am I talking to women like they're stupid? Seems on these threads, you can either assume an angry shouty tone ( which, tbf, I often do), or you can go for calm discussion - which then, I guess, comes across as patronising. Can't win. I'll try to find a tone that is more acceptable to you...

Why did you say some posters were 'having orgasms' as if women are such excitable silly people. Do you also use the word 'froth' when others are disagreeing with you?

I didn't actually say any posters on this thread were having orgasms... I was referring to a general vibe that sometimes crops up in this type of discussion, but necessarily (yet) on this one. And I actually meant men more than women here; there is a certain type of anti-feminist that gets sooooo excited when they think feminists have over-stepped the mark. But women can do it too...

No, I don't use the word 'froth' as a rule... Have had it levelled at me though. Your point??