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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly disgusted and depressed that women think its ok to make small penis gags?

532 replies

deffonamechange · 22/04/2017 18:16

Just been reading a thread further down where yes some scumbag bloke had been horrible to someone. Lots of outrage and tell him he has a small dick, tell him he has a micro penis basically mock the size of his genitals.

Can you imagine if a woman upset a bloke and all his mates said tell her she has awful labia, tell her her fanny is horrible, tell her she doesnt look normal down there
Its horrific!!

Do you know how many lovely men with smaller penises get inundated with this? Do you know how many teenage boys worry themselves to death because of comments like these?

Its depressing/sexist/cruel and plain nasty. You should be ashamed of yourselves!

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 22/04/2017 19:26

So do people think that body shaming is as much of a problem for men as it is for women? Do men in public life routinely get sexual insults and rape threats?

Has any one said that? That is not what the OP's point was.

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2017 19:27

Great. Body shaming is wrong. Fab. End of thread.

Can somebody please tell the media? And the men who pounce on women in public life whatever they say or do and threaten to rape them? Female MPs are routinely body shamed on Twitter. The American President told a woman she was too ugly to be raped. It would be nice if that stopped too. If I promise never to mention a man's penis size again (I practically never do anyway) do you think men can stop doing all that stuff?

itsmine · 22/04/2017 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MercyMyJewels · 22/04/2017 19:29

Maybe so Lass but I object to getting a lecture without any acknowledgement of this being a daily occurrence for women. The fact that this is about the cock is because the everything is so cock based. Women didn't make it so

usernumbernine · 22/04/2017 19:31

Bertrand why do you need to mention a man's penis size at all? It's not tit for tat. Body shaming insults are wrong. Full stop. So no one, male or female, should use them.

Why is that so hard to understand?

WorraLiberty · 22/04/2017 19:31

Bertrand why are you intent on pointing the finger at the whole world and their dog here?

Body shaming is wrong no matter who does it.

I'm pretty sure we all know women have it worse

That does not stop men/boys getting upset about it, and nor should it mean giving any less sympathy to them for it.

Original poster
deffonamechange · 22/04/2017 19:33

Newsflash..i can be angry and outraged about the body shaming of BOTH sexes!

It makes me mad that society makes my daughter think she has to look a certain way..it ALSO makes me mad that society makes my son and other nice blokes feel bad about themselves.

Baffling me that people appear to think that we cant object to cruelty to men because its a sexist world! Wtf

OP posts:
itsmine · 22/04/2017 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JaneJeffer · 22/04/2017 19:36

A small penis never made anyone gag Wink

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 22/04/2017 19:39

Maybe so Lass but I object to getting a lecture without any acknowledgement of this being a daily occurrence for women. The fact that this is about the cock is because the everything is so cock based. Women didn't make it so

That is an irrelevant point. Make your own thread if that is what you want to discuss. And still does not justify you calling posters handmaidens.

So far as it not being women who make it all about penis, you must have missed the "worst date ever " thread of which about every second post was about small or odd shaped penises

Meekonsandwich · 22/04/2017 19:40

Thing is though the thread I question involved a disgusting text from the man first.
So if someone says something horrible to you you're not allowed to retaliate?
Surely it's giving some one a taste of their own medicine?

I could understand being outraged due to people making these horrible comments to strangers or people who haven't been horrible misogynistic pricks in the first place?

If course it's not okay to comment on peoples bodies,
But if someone sets out to be nasty and make me feel bad then damn right I'm going to cut them off at the knees.

LadyRoseate · 22/04/2017 19:41

Not read whole thread but I agree OP. I don't ever do it, I wouldn't say it to other women or to a man, for this exact reason. I'm a massive feminist, feminism is about equality, and if it's not OK for men to body-shame women, it's not OK in reverse. (EVEN IF it's not a level playing field - because I want to move away from the nastiness, not get revenge.)

I also think it's a distraction from the very problematic behaviours we do see from a lot of men which can and should be addressed. You can't do anything about the size of your penis. You CAN make sure you're not abusive to women, a rapist or a lazy/strategically incompetent bastard domestically.

Picking on penis size will not fix those issues, it will just make men more insecure, and IMO thence arises a lot of their anger and aggression. (Not that that makes women responsible for it, but it's still not helpful.)

And yes the culture of small penis criticism must be devastating for perfectly nice small-penised men.

itsmine · 22/04/2017 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RainbowChasing · 22/04/2017 19:43

Women's intimate body parts are always spoken about in a derogatory way by men. I've been called a 'flat-chested bitch' by a group of men who were pissed off that I ignored their wolf whistles. I've been told that I'm a 'bucket-fanny slag' after I refused to go home with a man. I have also repeatedly heard various angry men refer to their ex-girlfriend's vulvas in foul ways to try and humiliate them. So quite honestly I think instead of being outraged at the pretty tame 'small penis' insult, you should be more outraged at the number of people (male and female) who think name calling and crude comments about a person's private parts and number of sexual partners are an acceptable way to vent their anger or disappointment.

BuzzKillington · 22/04/2017 19:45

I agree it's never OK.

I was out with a group of school mums last week and one regaled us with a tale of an ex who 'had a willy the size of a thumb'. There were hoots of derision and expressions of horror and comments like 'no wonder you dumped him!' and 'omg what did you do with that?'.

It left me feeling really uncomfortable.

ShatnersWig · 22/04/2017 19:46

Women's intimate body parts are always spoken about in a derogatory way by men.

Simply not true. I'd listen to the rest of what you have to say if you had said, correctly:

Women's intimate body parts are always spoken about in a derogatory way by SOME men.

DeleteOrDecay · 22/04/2017 19:46

I agree it's not okay for anyone to body shame anyone.

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2017 19:47

"Today 19:31 usernumbernine

Bertrand why do you need to mention a man's penis size at all? It's not tit for tat. Body shaming insults are wrong. Full stop. So no one, male or female, should use them.

Why is that so hard to understand?"

I agree. And it isn't. I was going to say I never do- then I remembered a few car related incidents and realised that I couldn't, in honestly say that!

Itsmine- we're agreeing, aren't we? [confused emoticon]

LadyRoseate · 22/04/2017 19:49

For the same reason I don't really like it when people suggest violence towards men. I do understand why and that those jokes don't carry the same threat level as the same thing male-on-female - BUT I still think "don't say that, it wouldn't be OK for a man to say that". And I don't like it in things like Disney films where the heroine can whack the man with a frying pan etc. If she's in danger then yes, but otherwise it's just maintaining gender differences.

Because ultimately we'd like to get to the point where we all are equally valued and there isn't an unequal playing field (wouldn't we?). So at some point along that journey, acting as if men and women have different rights as relates to violently attacking or body shaming the opposite sex, has to stop.

HiDBandSIL · 22/04/2017 19:51

YANBU.

WorraLiberty · 22/04/2017 19:53

LadyRoseate I agree with both of your posts

Very eloquently put.

thatdearoctopus · 22/04/2017 19:55

MN is full of double-standards though

MN has several million disparate and separate individuals posting on it. It's not one homogenous mass.

user1491678180 · 22/04/2017 19:55

Not nice no, but many men make comments about a woman's size, hair, face, boobs, etc, so ........... I guess it's just backlash.

I never understand the 2 wrongs don't make a right thing. So basically, if someone attacks you, you are not allowed to retaliate. Crap. Hmm

WomblingThree · 22/04/2017 19:55

WTF is a handmaiden? Is that a lazy insult for someone who thinks that women are equal rather than superior?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 22/04/2017 19:59

Ironically, I've heard comments re men and small dicks most often in circumstances where men have been behaving like big dicks... throwing their weight around, grandstanding or posturing, etc.