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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

friend's husband is a misogynist cunt

158 replies

Leafcushionswhy · 21/04/2017 18:29

Bumped into friend and her H yesterday. I've had babies at the same time as her so we're close and we see them frequently and live close so we bump into them a lot.

Got the following email from her H this morning:

Nice to see you yesterday. I just wanted to say congratulations on losing your baby weight. You look great - i was impressed. I have told (friend) she needs to exercise more post (DC1) and (DC2) as you know she naturally puts on weight at the best of times but she used the pregnancies to eat whatever she liked. Typical her.

What a patronising shithead. This is everything wrong with men. Do women go around saying "congrats on trying really hard with your small dick. I know it's naturally small but you've had the sense to know you can mitigate some of that by pumping a bit harder." I am boiling with all sorts of replies. What would you say?

OP posts:
fluffiphlox · 21/04/2017 19:52

Forward it to her. What a creep.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 21/04/2017 19:52

My father was a man who divorced his wife for producing 3 daughter and no sons... I grew up hearing how my birth was the final straw and how he wept in the delivery room... it was amazing for my self esteem. Angry He's now a father to a son and another daughter who he treats like a princess. I've not seen him in 26 years.

Astro55 · 21/04/2017 19:52

I'd tell his wife as well

I'd reply to him CC DH for good measure

myshinynewusername · 21/04/2017 19:53

Sounds to me like he is already telling his wife this stuff.

What a bastard. Tell your husband and then send a reply from you both telling him where he can stick his vile little messages.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 21/04/2017 19:53

Sorry, pressed post too soon!

This man is a prick, a nasty, slimy prick. Please send Yorick's email. It's genius. I feel
Sorry for his wife, I'm like to think I'd rather know if DH did this so I could dump his sorry ass but in reality I'm sure it would be humiliating and crushing.

MaidOfStars · 21/04/2017 19:57

This is so beyond my expectations and experience, I'm boggled.

I simply cannot imagine receiving such an email.

wictional · 21/04/2017 20:02

titsalina was your father perhaps Henry VIII?

ChasedByBees · 21/04/2017 20:09

"Your email seems to have been hacked. I've cc'd DH and your DW as no doubt the hacker will send revolting and offensive emails for laughs to more of your friends. Best to be forewarned."

I'd like to send that. I probably wouldn't but I would let him know it is inappropriate and vile.

DixieNormas · 21/04/2017 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 21/04/2017 20:22

I'd reply along the lines that you and your DH find his unwelcome comments totally disrespectful and unkind to your friend and you couldn't be any more disinterested in what impresses him, particularly when the sentiments are so incredibly shallow. Say if his email wasn't hacked then he needs to take a good, hard look at himself.

Apart from how cutting his comments are about his wife, he's clearly on the make.

NinonDeLenclos · 21/04/2017 20:27

Yorick's is hilarious, motherofdaemons is the one I would send.

Don't tell friend, it won't achieve anything other than making her feel very very shit.

Strigoi · 21/04/2017 20:27

That's beyond unacceptable. I would send Yorick's email and cc his wife.

PoorYorick · 21/04/2017 20:35

I'm glad so many people like my response. Whoever said sarcasm was the lowest form of wit was doing it wrong.

It's just occurred to me that, as PP said, he probably is hitting on you. And since he's a misogynistic rectum-faced dingleberry, he probably believes the bollocks that women all not-so-secretly hate each other and are in constant competition for penises. So he figures that if he tells you that his penis rates you more highly than his wife, you'll immediately fall upon it naked. Since it is the pinnacle of your self worth and the reason for your existence.

Bellend.

Astro55 · 21/04/2017 20:38

PoorYorick

Have you thought of setting up a business - advising disgruntled wives?

Cuppaoftea · 21/04/2017 20:50

I'd say 'Me and DH find your message very disrespectful to both me and friend. Please only send group messages regarding arrangements for meeting up with friend and DC'.

You don't want to lose her friendship just because her DH is a sleaze. Save his email just in case but I wouldn't show her now.

DixieFlatline · 21/04/2017 21:01

I think mother of daemons has it right but I think I would pass it over to your DH to deal with.

I can't imagine passing things over 'for my DH to deal with' like this. Do you do it with all your correspondence? Confused

MumBod · 21/04/2017 21:07

Why would you show it to her?!?!?

Don't show it to her! You'll break her heart!

I'd reply thus:

"You're a bit of a nasty cunt, aren't you? My beautiful friend deserves so much better. Never email me again."

Then leave it there. But I'd never show my friend.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 21/04/2017 21:10

Agree with MumBod, that says it all, in a nutshell.

SmileEachDay · 21/04/2017 21:10

mum why wouldn't you? If my partner not that I have one did this and my close friend didn't tell me I'd feel really unhappy about it.

And it won't be the OP breaking her heart, it's cuntychops doing that.

Crumbs1 · 21/04/2017 21:14

Actually not a word I often use but he's not a cunt - cunts are very precious and useful. He's just a nasty person.

Trixiebelle16 · 21/04/2017 21:14

The only prob with Yorick's response is that the prick might be too arrogant to realise it's sarcasm!

blue2014 · 21/04/2017 21:19

If I was the wife, I would want to know

MumBod · 21/04/2017 21:20

I wouldn't because I can imagine how I'd feel reading it.

I wouldn't because I couldn't be sure when she'd read it. What if she read that just as she was about to take her dcs out for the day/have a tough day at work/whatever?

I think the best thing OP can do is fuck the chancer husband off, and be a supportive friend. Because it sounds like that's what her mate needs, with a husband like that.

Avocuddle · 21/04/2017 21:20

Much easier said than done and I can't say I'd be this certain if I were you but I do feel that his wife deserves to know exactly what he's said! What an absolute arse Angry

SmileEachDay · 21/04/2017 21:23

Yeah, I think on reflection I'd tell my friend face to face - you're right about the emailing Mum

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