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Original poster

Should my DH high salary exclude him from doing jobs at home

671 replies

Shout · 11/03/2007 12:43

I am at stay at home home Mum with 2 DS my husband has quite an important job and his salary reflects it. Everytime he has to work weekends or evenings he says that is what I am being paid for.

My biggest grip is that he is getting lazier around the house, meal plates left at the table coke cans around the house, cuff links ties left out and gets more out,gets changed from work, suit and dirty washing left on bed for me to clear wet towels ,floor. The kids get 10 mins of play fighting then he watches his programs/or is on the computer.If he doesn't want to do anything he just ignores it or says its not a problem eg tyres are not flat, toilet isn't blocked!

When ever I get cross that he doesn't do his fair share he says in a jokey mannner but I get paid so much.
I asked him several times to make an appointment to discuss situation he kept avoiding it, I wrote him a letter explaining how I felt, it took him 3 days to get round to reading it and never responded.

I am back to comfort eating putting on weight and feeling crap about myself, hence all physical contact is virtually non exsistent.

Any advise out there?

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 15/03/2007 08:32

Yes Xenia and stepchildren are just a breeze... all the fun and no responsibility perhaps?

Dior · 15/03/2007 08:34

Message withdrawn

themildmanneredjanitor · 15/03/2007 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yellowrose · 15/03/2007 08:35

Oh yes, Anna, no lazy arsing around in our house ! Ds will be brought up to earn his own living, ok, not at 12, but for pocket money when he is a bit older

themildmanneredjanitor · 15/03/2007 08:35

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Anna8888 · 15/03/2007 08:36

Oh yellowrose I like the sound of this... which languages are you bringing DS up in? Maybe we could do some exchanges here?

Dior · 15/03/2007 08:38

Message withdrawn

yellowrose · 15/03/2007 08:38

"Having one is just playing at it like having some sort of toy doll" - even by YOUR standards Xenia that is really quite bitchy.

What if a parent can ONLY HAVE THE ONE, for medical reasons, etc. ?

Judy1234 · 15/03/2007 08:39

A lot of working mothers see points they agree with on the 20 point list. If you don't, fine and enjoy staying home.I don't get bothered at all by stay at home mothers and I don't think they should be working mothers when we each express the reasons why we think what we have done is best.

yellowrose · 15/03/2007 08:40

Anna - I speak German and dh speaks French fluently.

Anna8888 · 15/03/2007 08:42

So DS is being brought up in German and French? My daughter is being brought up in English and French, she'll get Spanish as well at her bilingual primary school (when she is 9) but German would be great... I struggled so much with German... five years at school and German BF for three years (not simultaneously) and I'm still hopeless.

themildmanneredjanitor · 15/03/2007 08:43

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Dior · 15/03/2007 08:43

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recoveringmum · 15/03/2007 08:43

ssd that is ridiculous. i spend no time thinking about the sahms, just to busy. and always make big efforts to befriend them, as most of them are my dh's friends' wives and it is important for me to be on friendly terms with them.

two or three of the sahms who are friendly with me tell me often that the other sahms will often gossip about us working moms and say negative things. they also constantly gossip about eachother and are often in childish fights - like the ones i used to have with my girlfriends when i was 13!

i really dont have time to gossip or fight with girlfriends.

themildmanneredjanitor · 15/03/2007 08:44

This reply has been deleted

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Anna8888 · 15/03/2007 08:47

Except that the more counter arguments Xenia gets, the more fascist she becomes. Does she realise?

yellowrose · 15/03/2007 08:47

Oh Spanish is wonderful. Good idea, a bilingual primary school. I am learning Italian at home, I love Italy ! I don't think I will be able to teach him Italian, though, I am such a beginner.

Anna8888 · 15/03/2007 08:49

My partner is learning Italian (his business expanded into Italy a couple of years ago) and I did lots of Italian at school and just adore Italian and Italy so we try to take a lot of holidays there.

We are VERY lucky to have a bilingual French-English school just down the road - and which is not expensive (by UK standards).

recoveringmum · 15/03/2007 08:49

wow you girls all sound like the sahms in my neighborhoud. they all preach about the benefits of sahming with their children, while my dd1 is the most confident child of all in this specific social network, she is bright, charming and extremely fun and social. i hardly think she has a boring time with us.
many of the sahms children are glued to their mothers (wont even let their dad's be with them in some cases) and whiney, not as good in social situations, to be honest.

i feel that i have time for her and for dd2 and for my dh and for work (very little for myslef though). while the sahms in the nieghbourhoud are always spotted at the local coffee shop or talking on the phone or with eachother as their children try to make a mess in vie for their attention. their children often seem quite bored infact.

yellowrose · 15/03/2007 08:50

I did call her a ThatcherRight before, now switching over to she may be becoming a little Mussolini

yellowrose · 15/03/2007 08:52

Oh, Anna, we seem to have a lot in common

Anna8888 · 15/03/2007 08:53

Soon she'll be having children taken straight from maternity hospital to the crèche so women can go straight back to the office after giving birth... and that'll be SO lovely for them, absolutely no horrible child responsibilities at all. Parents could just visit for 24mn a day (which of course is all a child needs) to spend even more lovely, lovely hours in the office... ah, the office... we are born to breathe, live and die the office...

yellowrose · 15/03/2007 08:53

Any way, must go, ds is up and running, I wake up at 5:30 am ever day and he wakes at 8 - 9 am, lucky him !

themildmanneredjanitor · 15/03/2007 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anna8888 · 15/03/2007 08:54

Are you going to Italy this summer? Maybe we could meet up ?