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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should have informed me her kids are unvaccinated?

420 replies

InMemoryOfSleep · 20/04/2017 08:24

I went to antenatal yoga with a lovely teacher, who then visited my house with her two children once my baby was born. I also attended her baby group several times with my DS, and her children were also present.

I've just found out that she's an anti-vaxxer, and I cannot stop thinking about the fact that she exposed my tiny baby to her unvaccinated kids, without my knowledge! AIBU to think she should have informed me before bringing her kids to my house, knowing my baby was too young to have been vaccinated yet?

And what about all the babies at the group - I get that it's her personal choice to not vaccinate (though I am vehemently against it) but as she is acting in a professional capacity surely she should be informing parents that her unvaccinated children will be there? I certainly would have thought twice about taking my DS before his vaccinations.

OP posts:
Applebite · 20/04/2017 23:08

"Many parents feel that insufficient research has been done". And their qualification for disbelieving the advice of the people whose expertise and livelihood are vaccines, and thinking that they know better in terms of devising their own schedule (and basically relying on everyone else to follow the actual schedule) is...... a FEELING?

Monkeydust · 20/04/2017 23:12

I dont understand why unvaxxed adunts are not a issue but unvaxxed kids are the antichrist?
The kids obviously were well or you wouldnt of had them there.

Best keep all the people who havent had the same needles as your kids to away.

Also make sure you get the iv vaxxed my kids bell off amazon =s

Monkeydust · 20/04/2017 23:13

Adults*

GreatFuckability · 20/04/2017 23:15

Applebite yes, I would. We had a measles epidemic very locally to me in South Wales a couple of years ago. I know several children who got it. it made no difference to how i lived my life.

Charlieismydarlin · 20/04/2017 23:19

Yes applebite. A feeling. A suspicion. A hunch.

Of course I don't know for sure but there is simply not enough research. I question. We all should.

Want to look into the side effects of the vaccine given to teenage girls to prevent the virus implicated in cervical cancer? Many reactions aren't reported as don't happen soon enough after the vaccine. Girls ending up bedridden.

No wonder people become suspicious.

GreatFuckability · 20/04/2017 23:21

I feel like a big part of the issue is that anyone who dares mention any kind of concern or worry about vaccination is met with either being laughing made to feel stupid, rudeness, or in some cases, as this thread shows downright hostility. and that includes when you talk about it with medical professionals. and thats not right, any other medication, if you were to express concern about side effects the JOB of a medical professional is to discuss it. but the downright belligerence that you are met by does nothing but alienate people.
I've been called a liar to my face about the reaction my child had. I've been told it can't have been as bad as measles, I've been told it was 'probably something else' and all kinds. I have doctors refuse to even entertain the idea of a reasonable discussion. When my daughter had an injury requiring time sensitive surgery, an a&e doctor kept us waiting for hours trying to source a tetanus vaccine that wasn't even what she would have required at that point, when I'd told him clearly I didn't want her to have it anyway. the surgeon was utterly furious.
If there was more willingless to engage with people, then perhaps more would feel reassured and give vaccines.

slightlyglitterbrained · 20/04/2017 23:22

I'd like the "feelings" crowd to get some randomer with Youtube on the case next time they need e.g. their appendix removed - after all, nobody likes an expert so wanting a trained surgeon who updates their practice according to those nasty irrelevant science papers etc - well that'd be just unreasonable. Any fucker could do as well given a sharpish knife and a few Youtube videos.

AmeliaLion · 20/04/2017 23:29

I had rubella despite being vaccinated (luckily I wasn't pregnant). I was probably contagious before I showed symptoms, but afaik nobody way hurt by it. You can't protect against every possible outcome so you have to accept that mixing with people leads to some risks.

You don't gave the right to know medical information about other people. Had she known they were ill you would be totally within your rights to feel aggrieved. But really, she was probably just doing the best job she could as a parent. Trying to make the best decisions for her children.

GreatFuckability · 20/04/2017 23:31

glitter but should someone decline to get their appendix removed by a doctor, you know what would happen? they'd be allowed to make that decision. and thats the relevent point here.

Monkeydust · 20/04/2017 23:35

Im another whos child nearly died from the first set of injections. Never took the risk again

Atenco · 21/04/2017 00:35

Just listening to the news about the drug given to pregnant women in France that caused birth defects and autism. The doctors I presume didn't know and the pharmaceutical company kept stum, are these the experts we are expected to blindly trust?

StealthPolarBear · 21/04/2017 06:44

Monkey dust, a fully developed immune system

MaisyPops · 21/04/2017 06:55

Your baby will have been in contact with midwives etc that haven't been vaccinated to today's standards.
Scare mongering a bit don't you think?

Friends and family work in hospitals. Occupational health says they have to be vaccinated. Which makes a great deal of sense.

Still, the logic of anyone who wants to disrupt herd immunity us to just shout about "but person x hasn't..."

Put it this way. If you choose not to vaccinate your kids then other people's good choices are what's stopping your kid being ill.

Would all the people who are so confident in their anti vax view take their child out to countries where diseases like measles are common and let them spend a week playing with poorly kids?

MaisyPops · 21/04/2017 06:59

Atenco
Causality is often reported in the press when they mean it's most likely correlation.

Do you believe all the 'red wine causes cancer / chocolate prevents cancer / red wine helps reduce cancer risk / mobile phones are carcinogenic" headlines?

There may well be side effects of things. The problem is that all this running about with 'X causes Y' is how we ended up with people not having the MMR vaccine because somebody reported it caused autism. There was no reliable evidence found.
As ever caution is probably best applied before believing every X caused Y story.

befuddledgardener · 21/04/2017 07:07

YABU. You come close to thousands of people each week. In supermarkets, GP surgeries, in cafes, in libraries, in toddler groups.

StealthPolarBear · 21/04/2017 07:13

...Most of whom are immune to these diseases

Applebite · 21/04/2017 07:13

Atenco - have you got a scientific paper to support that story, please? Would be v interested to read that, if so. If it's just a media story, well, I could tell you that I heard someone on the news yesterday blaming immigrants for all our woes in Britain - doesn't make it true just because someone on the radio thinks it does.

Great - I am v surprised that any parent would expose their child to measles IRL. It's very easy to say online from the safety of a country/area where there are no outbreaks due to high uptakes of vaccination, of course. And it's surprising that your daughter's reaction wasn't on her medical records for the surgeon to see - when I was in a&e with gallstones recently, they even knew about my cat allergy?

No, Charlie. Not everyone should "question" the medical profession when they advise on a child's health. That's an unbelievably irresponsible attitude to preach - you could make parents read any garbage online and think they had done "research". and it does suggest first world privilege. You think mothers in the third world where kids die of preventable diseases every day would want to google vaccines if they were offered them?!

V few people are qualified to do actual medical scientific research, to understand the results, and to apply it properly. Someone just basing their views on "hunches and feelings" is 100% NOT doing that!

slightlyglitterbrained · 21/04/2017 07:38

GreatFuckability if someone declined to get their appendix removed when in the midst of appendicitis, they'd be dead, not fannying around with Bach Flower remedies.

But at least they wouldn't take anyone else with them.

So, all those antivax/top shot Google-jockeys on this thread - have you ever had an operation? Will you refuse all qualified medical help if you develop peritonitis because a bottle of Bachs Flower remedies, sharp kitchen knife and you'll be fine mate?

slightlyglitterbrained · 21/04/2017 07:43

When DS was writhing around in agony with a blocked ureter we certainly wanted to talk to his surgeon about his prognosis. Did we even dream of saying "actually don't believe in modern medicine so we won't take you up on that operation you recommend"?

No, because we love him.

Applebite · 21/04/2017 07:45

Well you know what they say, glitter - self diagnosis is worth every penny you've paid for it!

Orangebird69 · 21/04/2017 08:09

I take it you've decided to follow your 'family tradition' then Applebite and not vax your baby?

WildKiwi · 21/04/2017 08:25

I'm totally with you Op. DS has been getting all his vaccinations, but before that I would have been very upset if someone I knew had brought him into contact with an unvaccinated child.

Yes there is a risk that he might have picked something up from a child I don't know in a coffee shop or at the library or somewhere. Obviously I can't keep him in a bubble, but bringing your unvaccinated children to visit a newborn is an avoidable risk.

For all the people who know better than scientists and medical professionals, I found this interesting (nurse friend shared it)

Applebite · 21/04/2017 08:46

Huh? What "family tradition" would that be?

I nearly died of measles - you can be v sure that DD has had all her jabs to date!

Mulledwine1 · 21/04/2017 08:52

...Most of whom are immune to these diseases

Not most. Some. Under a certain age, most.

Over a certain age, those who caught the diseases (such as me) will be immune (hopefully, though sometimes you can get the diseases more than once and indeed I had rubella AND mumps twice!)

Also everyone is majoring on the MMR here. There are lots of other diseases that you can get, for which no vaccine exists, or for which vaccines are not routinely given, eg chicken pox. So it's a bit silly to say someone is putting all their clients at risk because their children are not vaccinated when they could get a host of other diseases (or just a horrible cold). Also, SHE might be vaccinated, even if her kids are not.

Also so-called "baby measles" and slapped cheek disease, both of which my son caught (and I got slapped cheek disease off him - not amusing as an adult - and I hadn't even heard of it before that).

Mulledwine1 · 21/04/2017 08:54

OP, like everyone else of my generation I was only ever vaccinated against smallpox and polio

Me too - I also had tetanus vaccinations and rubella at 12. That's it.

Presumably I should be banned from going anywhere near a child who has not had all their vaccinations yet.

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