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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should have informed me her kids are unvaccinated?

420 replies

InMemoryOfSleep · 20/04/2017 08:24

I went to antenatal yoga with a lovely teacher, who then visited my house with her two children once my baby was born. I also attended her baby group several times with my DS, and her children were also present.

I've just found out that she's an anti-vaxxer, and I cannot stop thinking about the fact that she exposed my tiny baby to her unvaccinated kids, without my knowledge! AIBU to think she should have informed me before bringing her kids to my house, knowing my baby was too young to have been vaccinated yet?

And what about all the babies at the group - I get that it's her personal choice to not vaccinate (though I am vehemently against it) but as she is acting in a professional capacity surely she should be informing parents that her unvaccinated children will be there? I certainly would have thought twice about taking my DS before his vaccinations.

OP posts:
Original poster
InMemoryOfSleep · 20/04/2017 21:46

Nope @ragged he's had all the vaccines he can have for his age, and will continue to be vaccinated as he grows up. So I'm taking the available precautions against these diseases, which the parents of unvaccinated children are absolutely not doing.

OP posts:
GreatFuckability · 20/04/2017 21:46

I don't know why my children haven't had those illnesses, because they've been in contact with many who have, so I will put it down to luck or something. But it certainly isn't because of you vaccinating.
They are unvaccinated for medical reasons, but thank you for making massive assumptions about me. And those assumptions are part of the reason I don't mention it to people, and partly because as teens and almost teens, it isn't even a conversation that happens with parents of their friends. They went to a nursery that knew their vaccination status, they go to schools who know it.
As an aside OP do YOU know your vaccination status? had any antibody tests lately to know what you are vaccinated against and what you aren't? because if not then you are a massive hypocrite.

Atenco · 20/04/2017 21:48

OP, like everyone else of my generation I was only ever vaccinated against smallpox and polio. Why would children be more of a risk to your baby than grandparents?

kali110 · 20/04/2017 21:53

Vaccinations do not provide protection
I'm sorry what?Hmm

Also what about is this about shedding the virus?
I'm immunocompromised and have never been told to avoid people who have been vacinated? Confused

Charlieismydarlin · 20/04/2017 21:54

You sound hysterical.

Firstly, what illnesses are you concerned about? Measles or mumps? Because babies aren't vaccinated until 13 months anyway.

Illnesses like the common cold sore virus or CMV aren't vaccinated against at all and are serious in a newborn.

Vaccinated children seem to get their fair share of diseases we vaccinate against anyway.

I kept my newborns away from the general public for the first two weeks and thereafter, you just get on with it and take normal precautions.

GreatFuckability · 20/04/2017 21:58

kali vaccine shedding is definitely a real thing, off the top of my head I know IC people used to be told to avoid the poo of children who had had the rotavirus vaccine for a couple of weeks, though i'm not sure if that is still the case.
I think its 'live' versions of vaccines that shed.

Moussemoose · 20/04/2017 21:58

GreatFuckability

If your children can not be vaccinated for medical reasons then you should be grateful to the herd immunity other people having vaccinations helps promote. We vaccinate to protect vulnerable children. We are helping your children to stay safe

The basic scientific illiteracy demonstrated on these threads leaves me open mouthed.

StealthPolarBear · 20/04/2017 22:00

Smallpox was eradicated through fairy dust. Everyone knows that.

Moussemoose · 20/04/2017 22:02

Atenco because from what you say you are probably not in the 'younger generation' it is likely that you have been in contact with these viruses at some point in your life.
Children are more susceptible to illness than adults as they have not come into contact with as many people so have not had the opportunity to develop any immunity.

Rather obvious tbh.

cdtaylornats · 20/04/2017 22:04

Why would children be more of a risk to your baby than grandparents?

Because grandparents have had a lifetime to build up immunities to illnesses.

Charlieismydarlin · 20/04/2017 22:04

What leaves me astounded is that pro-vaxxers are so bloody sure they are right.

I do vaccinate my kids, but not for rotavirus nor flu for a variety of reasons and I try to spread them out a bit.

I have huge concerns about the rise in allergies and autoimmune conditions in children and adults and I strongly suspect that the myriad of vaccinations isn't helping. You can tell me as often as you like that injecting a substance multiple times isn't harmful and I won't believe you. I think vaccinations are wonderful but we need caution and common sense.

You can mouth off about bloody science papers but it isn't possible to do a whole heap of research here as almost all kids are now vaccinated.

Funnyonion17 · 20/04/2017 22:06

Your baby will have been in contact with midwives etc that haven't been vaccinated to today's standards. Yabu.

GreatFuckability · 20/04/2017 22:07

mousemoose I'm not grateful or ungrateful, I don't give a shit how other people chose to live their lives. My only responsibility is to my kids, and the same for everyone else. If you feel that vaccinating your child is best for them, then you do that. If someone else feels not vaccinating is best for theirs, again they should do that.
This idea that everyone vaccinates 'to protect others' is fucking nonsense. We all do what we feel is best for our own. It would be 'best' for others if no one got antibiotics at the drop of a hat for no reason, but people do that without a second thought. It would be best for others if those of us with complex health needs didn't use up NHS resources, but we don't do that. It would be best for others if we didn't smoke, or drink to excess, or injure ourselves playing sports, but we do that too.
It's only in vaccination where we are supposed to do stuff 'for the greater good'. Do me a favour, its disingenuous and patronising.
My eldest child almost died due to vaccination, so i chose not to take that risk again, if that makes me a selfish fucker, so be it. Selfish I will be, because your child's health doesn't matter more than mine to me.

Moussemoose · 20/04/2017 22:08

Charlieismydarlin
What leaves me astounded is that pro-vaxxers are so bloody sure they are right

Ohh now what makes me think that I'm right? How about polio and smallpox?

You can't argue with stupid.

Funnyonion17 · 20/04/2017 22:08

Because grandparents have had a lifetime to build up immunities to illnesses

Being elderly usually means the immune system suffers actually.

Moussemoose · 20/04/2017 22:10

because your child's health doesn't matter more than mine to me

WowShock

Actually your child's health does matter to me. A lot. Any child, anywhere.

Yours? At the moment not so much.

Charlieismydarlin · 20/04/2017 22:10

So what? You think I'm arguing against these vaccines?

What I'm saying is that the current programme of vaccines has moved way on from that and many parents are cautious and feel insufficient research has been carried out into the cumulative effects and the effects on the developing immune system.

I have huge sympathy with this position even though I choose to vaccinate, by and large.

Such utter arrogance.

Applebite · 20/04/2017 22:11

Yes, being concerned that someone whose JOB means additional exposure to pregnant women and newborns, and who takes that additional unnecessary risk into their home, is simply "holding a grudge" Hmm Hmm Hmm

bumbleymummy · 20/04/2017 22:13

Is it worth reiterating that newborns have maternal antibodies to protect them in those early days. (And the extreme unlikelihood of the yoga teacher's children having any of these diseases)

Charlieismydarlin · 20/04/2017 22:15

I think you might be wasting your time, bumble.

You do realise that anyone who remotely questions the current vaccination programme is of sub-normal intelligence?

GreatFuckability · 20/04/2017 22:18

mouse you delibrately took what I said and changed it. I said matter MORE. My child doesn't matter MORE to you than your own. and it shouldn't. Your child, everyones children matter to me, but do they matter MORE than my own? of course they bloody don't. Are you telling me I should continue with a vaccine schedule that put my child in the ICU on the off chance it wouldn't happen again? Or take that risk with my other children? that if it was YOUR child that landed up in the hospital, You'd merrily carry on doing the thing that caused that?? Because You wouldn't. No one would.

Darbs76 · 20/04/2017 22:22

I wouldn't want an unvaccinated child around my newborn either - many diseases are contagious before symptoms come out. I'm not sure about the groups though, you're going to come across unvaccinated groups in all walks of life but not know. A parents can carry a sign around to tell people.

HomityBabbityPie · 20/04/2017 22:52

Crying with laughter re: mouthing off about "bloody science papers" 😂

Atenco · 20/04/2017 22:56

What about all the diseases that there are no vaccines for? I saw a very long list of them once.

Applebite · 20/04/2017 23:06

GreatFuckability - if your DCs are unvaccinated, would you take them to the parts of Italy and Romania where there are currently measles outbreaks?