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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to go on holiday as a family again?

160 replies

whatty · 20/04/2017 03:41

We (DS 4.5, DD 2 & husband) are currently on holiday in Australia. It goes without saying, that we've spent a lot getting here, and are spending a lot during the 3 weeks we are here too. But- I'm really not enjoying it. We are constantly telling the children off (not listening, running by the pool, shouting in restaurants, moaning etc etc). I just feel like I'd prefer to be at work and for them to be at nursery. Are we doing something wrong? I feel like am being a misery when we should be having the time of our lives. Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated... Sad

OP posts:
HeadDreamer · 20/04/2017 12:23

To those saying running in restaurants is dangerous. That's why I mention you need family friendly places to eat. I don't mean running where the serving staff will be carrying food and plates. There are places where there are play areas. Or they give colouring books. And they don't expect everyone to behave. And failing everything that's when the tablets come out Wink

HeadDreamer · 20/04/2017 12:24

Mine also will sit on the floor playing their toys. So we tend to prefer tables near the wall.

user1492458803 · 20/04/2017 12:29

We have one two year old and I think he'll probably only ever visit Center Parcs until he's much older!

It's just easy. Maybe not our ideal family holiday but swimming and the Safari park are all you need at that age.

OH and I have booked oursleves a 5* short break abroad without him! That will actually be relaxing and child gets to stay with family at home which he'll love!

usernotfound0000 · 20/04/2017 12:32

DD is only 2 so haven't experienced holidays with older children but I really disagree that holidays with small children in awful. We've been abroad twice with her, once at 6 months, once at 20 months, both times just on short 2-3 hour flights. We made sure we booked child friendly hotels, near the beach, safe pools, lots of playgrounds. We had a great time. Yes, pre kids it isn't the type of holiday we would have but it's not about us now, seeing her enjoy herself in new surroundings and exploring beaches etc was wonderful.

nothercupoftea · 20/04/2017 12:32

2014newme
sounds great!
I have friends who go away for a week every 2 months, they have just enough annual leave for that, but they are child-free...

5moreminutes · 20/04/2017 12:33

Honestly you need to be realistic about the holiday you choose with young children and lower your expectations, then a holiday with young children can be relaxing and enjoyable.

Go on the same kind of holiday you would have chosen as a childless couple with children under 5 and of course it will be stressful and a let down.

Cheap and cheerful with loads of space and children the same age running about is the way forward on holiday with children. Camping/ glamping / holiday farms, that kind of thing.

www.camping-bellaitalia.it/en/

www.harvestmoonholidays.com/our-treehouses/

www.tyrol.com/book-your-holiday/farm-holidays

We've done, and enjoyed, all the above with 3 children under 11 at the time of the holidays (the first one we've and enjoyed with 2 children 3 at the time and with 3 children all under 6 at the time, and met families with up to 8 children, and lots of families with several tinies).

We tend to do the Bella Italia style of holiday almost every year, though not that site specifically - there are cheaper smaller sites now we are confined to school holidays and need/ want three bedrooms due to children's ages.

Of course its not the law to go on holiday just because you can afford it, so yanbu obviously to decide not to until the children are older, but yabvu to think a holiday to Australia is a typical or easy choice for a family with two children under 5 - obviously its the high stress, high effort, high cost end of the scale and something cheaper and closer to home and less ambitious will be a million times more fun and less stressful for many families while children are small.

GColdtimer · 20/04/2017 13:12

My girls are 11 and 7 and I have only just stared to enjoy holidays again.

Go somewhere closer and more set up for young kids until they are older. We did eurocamp type places or Haven/hoseasons for a few years, which was much easier.

2rebecca · 20/04/2017 14:47

I found holiday cottages best with young kids where you can cook what they'll enjoy and they don't have to sit still for hours and can run around.

Mothervulva · 20/04/2017 15:41

I like how people jump from the fact some people like some holiday childcare to that it's a wonder why they had kids. Fine if it's not for you, it's ok to want/need a bit of time to not be on duty.

Apart from a week in France and a week in Ireland when DC1 was under 12 months, we haven't ventured abroad. I'm not sure there's much point until the children are old enough to enjoy it. Luckily there's plenty of nice places in the UK.

OwlinaTree · 20/04/2017 15:46

I'm reading all this with apprehension as I'm off on holiday with dh, 3 year old and 8 month old on Saturday!!

Last holiday was me, dh and 17 month old which went well, so fx all will be well.

As an aside, it always amazes me when people say their children get bored at the beach. How can you get bored at a sandy beach?!

2014newme · 20/04/2017 15:52

I think toddlers can easily overheat at the beach tbh.

Yes I shouldn't have bothered having kids because I take mine to 5* places with fantastic activities. Instead i should martyr myself on a self catering holiday where I am the entertainment. Holidays as flagellation. 😂

2014newme · 20/04/2017 15:53

Just to add, whilst I am paying, I get to choose. My kids can buy all the campsite holidays they want when they are grown up. I like a bit of luxury.

LadyFlumpalot · 20/04/2017 15:54

Self catering or camping is (in my opinion) the way forward with small children. Never taken them abroad but I spent 2 weeks camping in Cornwall with them aged 2 and 4 and a weekend in a hotel with them aged 3 and 5.

I'd do the camping a hundred times over again. The hotel was hideously stressful.

5moreminutes · 20/04/2017 15:55

2014 did you intend the irony there? Accusing people who don't holiday like you of not being able to understand that not everyone enjoys the same things, whilst simultaneously slagging off anyone taking a self catering holiday for being a self flagellating martyr and failing to understand that if you choose the right destination and aren't an uptight twat you can indeed well and truly relax on a self catering holiday where your kids don't have to be on their best performance behaviour all the time.

2014newme · 20/04/2017 16:00

. Here, have a full stop. They're free.

5moreminutes · 20/04/2017 16:02

Ah changing the subject to a bit of punctuation pedantry because you can't defend expecting people to see your point of view whilst being incapable of seeing anyone else's? Have a slow hand clap.

nothercupoftea · 20/04/2017 16:05

2014newme

You realise that some self catering holidays are a lot more luxurious than a 5* star hotel Grin, we all know how the star system works...

I feel a bit sorry for your kids if you think that spending time with them is a punishment, some of us actually enjoy being together and have a great time.

Anyway, the main reason for going abroad as opposed to holidaying in the UK is the weather.

wineusuallyhelps · 20/04/2017 16:08

I've found holidays difficult the last year or two. The hormones have started with my eldest two (12 and 10) and they take it in turns to moan constantly and ruin each day.

That's why I haven't booked a holiday this year and have no plans to!

We've had great holidays up till now though! Been abroad once in their lives but haven't been able to afford it again. We mainly do holiday cottages by the sea in the UK. We've camped a few times and that's been so relaxing too (I will only go when the forecast is dry!). Center Parcs was good for the swimming, but I thought it was overrated, expensive and wouldn't go again.

drspouse · 20/04/2017 16:09

We have had some family holidays like that - we have a nearly-3 and a 5yo.

Our best holidays have been:
Skiing - with childcare. Though a lot of exhaustion and silliness at bedtime.
Staying in one holiday apartment (ish - with outdoor space) in a city - two different holidays. Near a swimming pool so swimming most days for one of them. Near a park for the other so taking a ball out to throw around a lot. Lots of children's museums. Self catering (they find new supermarkets fun). Cbeebies or equivalent on over breakfast and then a run around outside and then out for the day. Lots of public transport on our UK trip - great fun for the preschool set - and short car journeys with "spot the digger/tree/river" on non-UK holiday.

Eating in relatively child friendly places (games on phone if waiting for table), for lunch, take snacks everywhere, pasta/pesto/beans on toast for them and a posh takeaway for us with wine and iPlayer. Visit to pound shop/equivalent for cheap toys! Oddly buying school shoes was also a success (easier to do than when rushed on a Saturday and the shops are crammed).

Basically find a "home from home" and stay in it and develop a routine.

2014newme · 20/04/2017 16:09

Yes I go 5* self catering in the UK every year for a week.
Spending time with my kids is lovely but they like doing all the activities I already mentioned and I'm not going to refuse them those opportunities.
We just spent a week together, lovely.

We do lots of different types of holidays.

hmcAsWas · 20/04/2017 16:13

I'd like to tell you it gets easier, but we are away with our 13 and 14 year old for a few days and the rows and fights (sometimes physical) between them are driving dh and I mad!!!! Gin

wonderingsoul · 20/04/2017 16:15

My dad once said after picking me and my 2 ds up from our first holiday that had been lovely but not very relaxing for me (and it was only haven) was that holidays with children arnt holidays for you. There for the kids.

gottaloveascamhun · 20/04/2017 17:14

There are 2 types of holiday that work for us (kids are 6 and 3)
1: Uk holiday park in best possible chalet accomodation in a quiet area of the park. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms , 2 Min walk to beach. Eating out for lunch most days and simple meals in the chalet in theevenings. Swimming pool on site. Soft playand arcades if it rains. Eldest likes kids disco.

  1. All inclusive beach holiday in Europe- buffet works well as children can see what there is and help themselves, no cooking or cleaning for me, we choose a large apartment in the hotel with 2 bedrooms. Resort has play park, kids pool, kids club which we may use a couple of times.
Luckily my children love beaches whatever the weather and so do I!
LadyFlumpalot · 20/04/2017 22:30

Last year we were lucky enough to be invited to stay for a week with my children's godparents. They had taken a fantastic holiday cottage in Padstow. Proper luxury. Right on the estuary, within 3 minutes walk of Rick Steins places and 10 minutes to the town. Fabulous views and the house itself was kitted out beautifully with an amazing kitchen and 4 (!) beautiful bathrooms. It was far more luxurious than any hotel I've ever been to. I think they had one tantrum each that whole week. We did:

A day at the beach, a day crabbing at the harbour, a day cycling the camel trail, a day out at Tintagel and a couple of days just relaxing. One day the godparents took the DC to the Eden Project so DH and I took ourselves off to the beach for a child free day.

It was heaven. The whole holiday. Stress free, relaxing, the children didn't have to be on best behaviour, we didn't have to be stuck in the same room sipping wine quietly after 8pm, they could eat food they liked and we were within 2 hours drive of home so no hideous long haul journey. Even though we went with another couple (and their grown up daughter) the house was big enough to give us all space and we all took it in turns to cook and do chores.

Mind you, a holiday to the Maldives would have probably been cheaper and there is no way we could have afforded it by ourselves!

Madcats · 21/04/2017 10:33

Glad to hear that OP had a slightly better day.

Take the kids to an animal park if they've not been to one yet (have such cute pictures of DD nose to nose with a wallaby). Macademia Castle isn't too far away from Byron Bay. Equally they might love a trip to The Farm Byron Bay (go on a tour of the farm or do a self-guided tour and then there is a playground too).

Down in Sydney I'm sure the boys would love a trip on the Manly Ferry. The aquarium is lovely too. A cheaper option would be a trip to Blaxland Riverside Park (amazing place for kids) over in the Sydney Olympic Park. It is fun to cycle round there too (you can hire bikes...pretty certain we hired a kid seat too).

Yep, I think I AM jealous now.