To not want to go on holiday as a family again?

[whatty]

We (DS 4.5, DD 2 & husband) are currently on holiday in Australia. It goes without saying, that we've spent a lot getting here, and are spending a lot during the 3 weeks we are here too. But- I'm really not enjoying it. We are constantly telling the children off (not listening, running by the pool, shouting in restaurants, moaning etc etc). I just feel like I'd prefer to be at work and for them to be at nursery. Are we doing something wrong? I feel like am being a misery when we should be having the time of our lives. Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated...

I agree with too far, too early. I have DC the same age as yours OP and I wouldn't dream of going to Oz with them. In fact BIL is currently based abroad in a lovely location, so similar to you, but we won't visit while he's there because it's too far and there's too much jetlag involved.

We do have (mostly) lovely holidays though. They involve

1. short haul flight, maximum 4 hours.
2. child friendly accommodation with all the kit
3. some childcare - either a kids' club or grandparents who come with us
4. easy food options, so at least one meal a day is cooked by someone else. But also s/c facilities if the DC aren't up to eating out
5. a pool/beach based holiday with maybe a couple of day trips max
6. recognising that DC who aren't perfectly behaved at home aren't going to morph into perfectly behaved on holiday...!

Palming children off to childminders on holiday makes my heart sink. I wonder why some people have children in the first place, I really do.

My children love a few hours in kids club. I have no desire to be a martyr entertaining my kids 24/7 so it works for us. With know ds club they have gone sailing, windsurfing, speed boating, zorbing, bungee trampolines, pirate parties, beach bbqs, tennis, yoga, pony riding, water skiing, fishing.
Sounds pretty good to me!
They also sometimes choose to have lunch or dinner with their kids club pals and nannies.
Not all kids are tied to their parents! 😂😂

Developingdetritus sorry but your holidays sound shit.

Our first proper family holiday was when DS1 was 4 and DD was 2 and was one of the worst weeks of my life and nearly led to DH and I getting divorced (only slightly exaggerating). I had been so excited about taking them to the beach but DS1 hated the feeling of sand on his feet and refused to set foot on it unless he was wearing wellies and there was about an hour during the whole week when neither of them was having a tantrum or they weren't fighting. I remember looking round at all these 'normal' happy families whose children were happily building sandcastles whilst our 2 were whacking each other over the head with their buckets and spades and DH and I were sat in stony silence not looking at each other.
We went away the following year to a Haven type place and had a brilliant time. We still haven't taken them abroad and I wouldn't take DS2 who's nearly 9 to Australia even now as the thought of being trapped with him on a plane for 20 hours is horrifying as he literally never stops talking.
I totally agree about DCs remembering the little things about holidays - my DB's highlight of our first family holiday was 'seeing a sheep do a wee'.

We had some good times, lots of laughing and nice memories. No excrement involved at all. I enjoy my sons company.

DevelopingDetritus I think it depends on the childcare and the age. I am always baffled by the number of parents whose first hotel requirement is a babysitter, and parents who don't want to spend a full day with their kids (how do they cope at the weekend?). I really miss my kids when I go to work and they go to school, and our weekends are too short.

That said, some kids love kids groups and really enjoy playing with new friends, learning to ski/ sail/ horse ride or whatever they do. It's not a punishment, it's to give them a good time.

I have many friends who book a summer au-pair, someone who is really paid to play with the kids and keep an eye on them. I let my own kids watch tv when I am cooking or having diner, it would be better for them to be playing with the au-pair.

I feel more sorry for the children whose parents idea of a holiday is to lay down in front of a pool, with a drink in their hand. No wonder they are bored. Mine would go crazy if we booked a holiday in 2 hotel rooms, and we'd all have an awful time.

Developing maybe it's the smell of your judgemental views that is making your holidays seem wiffy?

YANBU OP Family holidays are a nightmare. I have no idea why so many people seem to think an annual holiday is 100% essential.

I agree with many others that we didnt do long haul when the kids were younger abut I did struggle for a few years to find my ideal holiday model (and as a single parent I found one week away was enough). I would tend to look for self catering, beach and pools but it was still quite hard work till we relaxed into it.

But having teens presents new problems. Like trying to get them out of bed before midday or to not be glued to their devices when you are in spectacular places. A friend of mine couldnt get her teen daughter to leave the motel at the Grand Canyon!!!! It was boring! And my hormonal teen last year refused to get out of the hire car one day in frikkin Iceland! Still the rest of the time he strode up mountains and across volancic beaches with gusto.

But nevertheless it does get much easier as they get older. We can now do hikes and mountain climbing, road trips etc as they are more able to take part and appreciate (generally) the experience.

Sorry if I've hit a nerve.

I have no idea why so many people seem to think an annual holiday is 100% essential.

because some of us love them, and we only book 2 holidays a year because we can't afford to go more often. They are not mandatory, no one HAS to go away.

I like a monthly holiday. I couldn't wait a whole year!😱

When my kids were that age we just used to do day trips or a week in a caravan in the uk. Often my parents came along too which was a big help.

It's lovely going on more adventurous holidays now they're older. They appreciate it a lot more now too.

Ahhh. Thanks lovely mumsnetters for the funny stories, experience and advice. We had already had a few evenings out in the first week (my parents were with us for the first few days) which were lovely, and a good opportunity to chill/ feel rejuvenated. We are currently staying in a hotel an hour or so away from my brothers place for some family time (!) which is what has made things a bit more challenging. Having lots of people in close proximity who don't have kids always puts me on edge I think. Anyway- the day has massively improved- my sourness earlier seems to have resulted in a v low key- or even enjoyable- evening! We even got a compliment from a lady about the children's behaviour- lots of internal high fiving going on. We have an Isle of Wight holiday booked for August (and we have been on lots of UK holidays over the last 4 years)- so we will hopefully have more success then. Thanks again for your comments.

I agree with you Developing. I worked with someone who was shocked and horrified that I was planning to take a holiday without a full time nanny or 8am - 10pm kids club. Seems sad to me.

My kids were always really keen to hang out with me and really didnt want to go to kids clubs - but then I am really really really fun.

I think in the future a self catered place is usually so much easier with young ones, it usually means they have a bit of space to move around and can have some down time. You can make familiar foods when they are hungry and have the odd relaxed day which helps them cope with the busier days. Managing small children eating out for 3 meals a day is stressful. Hope the rest of your holiday is more fun and chilled xxx

All inclusive works well with little ones.

Where are you? If Sydney I can give you some recommendations. Being outside with small kids is always easier as the noise seems less noticeable and there are plenty of places to go where the kids can run around happily. School holidays have less then a week to run so zoos/aquariums/wildlife parks will all be a lot less busy from next Wednesday, you should also be able to find fireworks on Tuesday (Anzac Day), Australia does fireworks well.

Until kids can swim and read it really is (mostly) same shit, somewhere else. I never enjoyed holidays at those ages either.

It's not relaxing most of the time. Same shit, different location!
^ this^ I refuse to go abroad until my dds are older, I feel like a holiday woith them both would be a nightmare, they are 7 and 5 and drive me mad at the best of times plus you can't relax when they need to be supervised most of the time.

I like a monthly holiday.

So would I, but how on earth can you afford that! And what about the kids schools? are you home educated?

Hi ToesInWater, we are currently in Byron Bay, and returning to the Gold Coast tomorrow. We are spending 5 days in Sydney at the end of the holiday though, so some tips for there would be great (we are staying in Manly).

@nothercupoftea
Not a fortnight a month
A long weekend or a week. Just got back from a week European City break. Next month 2 weeks long haul. Last month 2 weekends away. Month before centre parcs
Etc

same hit different location is exactly right.

I have hated pretty much all the holidays I have been on recently.