To not want to go on holiday as a family again?

[whatty]

We (DS 4.5, DD 2 & husband) are currently on holiday in Australia. It goes without saying, that we've spent a lot getting here, and are spending a lot during the 3 weeks we are here too. But- I'm really not enjoying it. We are constantly telling the children off (not listening, running by the pool, shouting in restaurants, moaning etc etc). I just feel like I'd prefer to be at work and for them to be at nursery. Are we doing something wrong? I feel like am being a misery when we should be having the time of our lives. Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated...

Kids like different things at that age. Slow everything down and accept they won't be impressed by the same things you do. Our kids remember the amazing ice lolly (New York to us), the cute ducks (Center Parks) and the penny sweets they could buys from onsite shop they could cycle to (Lovely CAMPSITE IN Cotswolds). Not to mention being ill and not liking the local pizza OR ice cream (Rome).

Im now glad of mine and dhs decision to just keep going to pontins each year until the kids are older! Ours are still very young (4,2 and 9weeks) and for the past 2 years we've gone to pontins and are booked to go again in a few months. We all have a great time, the weather was absolutely amazing last year and its literally two minutes walk to the beach. There was loads for the kids to do and in the evening we just made sure we got a table near the dancefloor and it meant the kids could dance/play away and we were right there.

We went to Ibiza a few years before we had the kids, its a very child friendly part of Ibiza and we really want to go again, either there or Portugal. We've said absolutely not until the youngest is at least 5 though. Then they'd be 9,7 and 5. I think any sooner and it won't be an enjoyable holiday for us.

Where in oz are you? Maybe some local MNrs can advise some child friendly activities

We have dd, 4, who has autism and ds who is 1.

Change and new experiences are definitely not what they need or want at this age (not for holidays anyway )

Butlins has been the answer for us.

Relatively cheap, self catering apartment, free access to nearby swimming pool, free fair rides for toddlers and older, softplay and beach if you can hack it.

We massively adjusted our expectations of holidays, and take it on turns to 'mind' shepherd them both so one of us gets a little relaxation time some days.

Most of the time we just treat it as a home away from home thing and don't expect to relax anymore than normal

I love holidays with my family, and can't wait until the next one, but they are designed around the kids at the moment.
There are 2 adults at all time, no routine, we can get up and have breakfast whenever we feel like it. We are not at home, so there are always plenty of new things to do, places to explore so no one can be bored. We try to eat out at least once a day, which is always nice.
We do go self catering, as a big house is much easier than being stuck in a hotel room, or a place with dangerous pool. We have a cleaner coming a few times a week, never go more than 3 hours flight away. Most diners are at home, so we can have a glass bottle of wine whilst the kids play or watch tv.

I find holidays so much easier than being at home, but they are a world apart from holidays without kids. I always research and have activities planned for every single day (zoo, park, museum, play park, beach...), so we are never at loss about what to do. Nothing booked, it depends on the mood, but always something for the kids to look forward to.

OP - I hope your holiday gets better & you enjoy spending time with your brother

Next year, I suggest you consider self catering for a week in the UK. Northumberland is great for beaches and castles

For food, we arrange a supermarket grocery delivery to the holiday house. We take some food from our freezer, go out for a couple of meals, perhaps a takeaway or fish and chips. I would always hold out for a holiday house with a dishwasher

Personally, I wouldn't want to do laundry on holiday, but some people like to have a washing machine, either for emergencies, also they can do laundry towards the end of a holiday and not come home with seven days worth of dirty clothes

OP I'm trying to figure out if I am jealous or sorry for you. I had a lovely holiday in Oz when we took our then 15 month old out (based in Sydney, but went up to the Barrier Reef and over to Perth).

It sounds to me as if you need to hire a baby-sitter and get some "me time" for a few hours.

Jetlag was annoying for the first 2 or 3 days so we just did things like go to the park/supermarket/bought some cheap toys (lots of short activites close to where we were staying, so we could head home easily).

Everywhere we went we were armed with snacks and water bottles (being hot/hungry/thirsty was a recipe for disaster). We had kiddy song CDs for the car as we had some LONG drives.

If children aren't used to eating out, being in the wrong timezone with unfamiliar food is probably not the best time to try. In the early days DH and I used to take it in turns to be "on duty" in restaurants. It was rare we'd need to leave the table/bolting down food, but that was something we'd agree up front. We also tried to get into a UK routine (so regular food and sleep times), which helps.

By the sounds of it, the boys are either over-tired or you need to find an outlet for their surplus energy. Sorting their behaviour will need a unified front from you both (and it might mean that you need a kid each for a while). Unless they are in immediate danger, shouting is fairly pointless. Take time to praise them when they are behaving (let them know that good behaviour makes you happy). Also, try not to organise your days so you are setting the little ones up to fail.

Looking after little people 24/7 is hard work.

Well, my friend summed it up perfectly for me after I got back from a family holiday (cheap caravan by the sea) feeling more in need of a break than before I went...
"same shit, different kitchen" !!!
Seriously, any "holiday" with small children isn't much of a holiday for the parents (in my experience especially for the mum... Dad seems to thing he's on holiday too therefore does nothing... not much different from being at home!!!)
It;s even worse if you are on a budget and end up self catering. Then again, eating out with anything under 8 proved to be difficult as well...
As they get older it will get easier. Except that then you will be tied to school holidays, where you pay twice the price and have half the fun (because everywhere is so busy). So in some ways it is good to go while they are little!!!
Put it down to experience, enjoy it as much as you can, and think about something very different next year. And in 20 years or so you can get a PROPER holiday...

To those that self cater, do you actually feel like you get a break?

We do fair bit of take out occasional meal out - and quick to prepare meals and sandwiches for dinner or pop to bakery or picnic on beach. It's more of a mix.

We don't drive so we are near shops and supermarkets - so we pop in after beach or after a wonder round. Plus DH around to help with tasks - due to a long commute in usual lives this isn't always the case at home.

Means not trying to eat out when everyone is fractious and can have breakfast or dinner on our timetable. Works for us - though IL prefer hotels even when they had children as meant they didn't have to cook.

At that age a holiday with fantastic childcare was my priority so that it was,an actual holiday rather than a change of scene with jetlag thrown in!

Oh OP I feel your pain

I remember coming home from holiday early one year and not taking DC on holiday for a couple of years after that.

I was a single parent and literally felt I needed to have eyes in the back of my head, the later bedtimes, overstimulation, and lack of structure and routine seemed to send them mad, and because of a lack of space there was literally no where I could go for five minutes to myself unless I went to the toilet.

I couldn't get home quick enough

We have always really enjoyed holidays with the children (now aged 12 & 9). I think you have to put their needs & interests first though. We have always found self-catering & usually looked for somewhere with an indoor pool, lots for kids to do & a beach nearby. Eurocamp style places in France/Holland & Haven type places here.

Sounds like you have just realised that you go to work because you would rather be at work than with your family. Which is probably because work is more predictable. less boring and you get more respect, so not unreasonable.
Try to find ways to enjoy the holiday with your dh and brother and make great memories for your children, but don't expect it to be relaxing! .

To those that self cater, do you actually feel like you get a break?

absolutely!
Holidays are the best time of my year. We still it out once a day, but breakfast are not work at all: husband takes kid to a local baker to buy fresh pastries, or kids have cereals they are not allowed at home (just sugar), fresh fruit salad, smoothies...
For diner, we buy pizzas, have barbecues, make loads of salads, anything quick and that everybody will like. Because the choice of food is different, and supermarket have different treats than in the UK (different chocolates, biscuits), the kids love it.

We had a month in southern US when DCs were just this age.

We stayed in one house and kept it low key - so storytime at the local bookshop, joined the local library, went to the playpark , enjoyed the novelty of massive supermarket (dear old piggly-wiggly), cartoons on tv (pre tablet days, can you imagine!). Then did a couple of big trips (eg drove down to Orlando and Disney for a few days).

Once the jetlag was over it was much like settling into a routine at home, but really lovely that no one had to go to work. Some days were blissful, others were tantrummy, but that's family life.

In the middle of the trip a dear friend came to visit and even babysat so we could go out. Perhaps your brother could do.the same?

They are very very young,try making the holiday a bit easier for yourselves only eat in family orientated restaurants(and then if you'd like to eat somewhere more grown up would your brother babysit for a few hours maybe once a week)whilst you have the DC with you.

Take something to keep them distracted and try to keep the meal times(when your eating out)short and sweet.

Try giving loads of praise when your DS is being good and kind and helpful and try to ignore(if it's safe to)the bad behaviour,fingers crossed he'll start behaving better then because he enjoys all the praise.

Could you and your DH give each other a break away from the DC(so DH looks after them and you get some child free time and then you look after them so he gets some child free time) once every week your away if only just for a few hours.

If your both not sure about time on your own whilst on holiday is there a registered baby sitting service you could use maybe?

we still *eat (it?!? I need my glasses)

Ohhhh @HeadDreamer don't mention tablets on mn you'll get shot and told your kids will all be antisocial morons 😆

We took our two away last year at 6weeks and 3yo and it was stressful. DS1 had never been away before and a massive hotel full of kids (yeah we did that sort of holiday) was very stressful for my DH as he wasn't comfortable with how much excitement he had and how much he wanted to run about. I think the idea to self cater is a good idea because a small enclosure type place is easier because there's only limited places they can go unless you're willing to take them out. Relaxing next to a pool is better sometimes than running around stressed. We are doing that this year but away with the entire family God help us so there will be five kids and eight adults all to take turns entertaining each other.

Try to enjoy the rest of the holiday xx

Best holiday idea for a trip with toddlers/infants would be a long weekend in North Wales in a caravan. I would never have gone abroad with mine at 2 and 4, let alone to Australia! Holidays abroad were reserved for when the kids were past 8 y.o. They enjoy it a lot more, and remember it more too.

Big, long-haul holidays with kids under 5 is no fun for anyone

To those that self cater, do you actually feel like you get a break?

Yes, absolutely. Simple meals, some pre-prepared food, couple of meals out. But I wouldn't consider self catering in a house without a dishwasher. That's a deal breaker for us. I like the freedom of self catering, you can come & go as you please. Also, you tend to have more space, unless you are sleeping in the sitting room. It's good not to be cramped up in one hotel room

I didn't take my kids abroad until they were 4 and 7 because i knew i wouldn't enjoy it, and even then we only nipped across to France (and it was still not what i would call relaxing). Got our third child on the way and we're going abroad for a wedding next year, dreading it! You have my sympathies, i'd maybe scale back the holidays for a couple of years, static caravans camps Wales/Cornwall/The Lakes or some Centreparcs-type places designed for families can really ease the strain!

Since we've had kids, our family holidays have changed. We did Disney and Butlins (kid heaven) and now older (teens) we do Universal. It's hard to find a holiday destination that's better than their own gadget filled bedrooms and constant whinging is no holiday for anyone.

Roll on university when once again we will be back to exploring Mexican swamps on jetskis and peddling fast through Balinese villages to dodge the hawkers, till then it's Island of Adventure Orlando and relative peace.

To those that self cater, do you actually feel like you get a break?

Of course! I'm not making a full roast dinner or anything, but the kids are playing outside and I'm throwing together a bit of pasta with local vegatables, or salads and fresh bread, or a bbq, or takeout, will drinking wine, then we eat all together outside on the deck in the sunshine....what's not to like?

Only ever did Uk holidays until Ds 7 Dd 10 could not bear the strain.Had a great time probably as I was more relaxed could take them home if worse came to fruition.
Cornwall ,Suffolk,Norfolk ,Poole,The New Forest,The Lakes ,Isle of Wight all fantastic for small folk.

Mine are 6 and 2.5yo and we do travel but only short haul and then off to child friendly resort...ideally with kids club. The only way the adults get to enjoy the holiday!