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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU with my friends?

999 replies

PhyllisNights · 19/04/2017 21:24

I'm the first one in my social group to get pregnant. I talk to my friends on a daily basis through WhatsApp and see them all in person at least once a week.

As it's my first pregnancy, I'm very excited. I can't stop talking about it. I'm so lucky, so happy, so fortunate & so privileged. My baby feels so special, like I know my baby will do something incredible in this world - I can feel it!!

And yet, my friends have started to turn on me. They've become very jealous. They make snide remarks, they mimick me & give me side eye. I feel like my pregnancy is the butt of all the jokes.

I can't help that I've been so blessed and so fortunate to get pregnant out of my friends first. I went to college, uni, started a professional career first & got married first. I've just always been up step ahead - I can't help it!!

Would it be unreasonable to sit my friends down and ask them to stop being so negative? I want to ask them to support me better and help me out.

OP posts:
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9
mikeyssister · 20/04/2017 21:53

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

WildIrishRose1 · 20/04/2017 21:53

Sorry to disagree, OP, but you clearly can't read people very well, if you think that your friends are unreasonable, and if you are questioning their reactions to your (perhaps) gloating about your perfect life. I think your attitude here is somewhat disingenuous; I think your self-obsession is the opposite of a good friend, actually, and if I've learned anything in life, is the value of friendship. Lots of PP have tried to advise you, but you have ignored their good sense. What a missed opportunity, OP.

WildIrishRose1 · 20/04/2017 21:55

Aw, Gaelic, we would have made great sisters, I'm sure! Ninjas unite!!!

LoveDeathPrizes · 20/04/2017 21:57

This is actually really well-pitched trolling. I'm only half convinced she can't be real - the other half is sad at all the broken dreams and crushed entitlement she'll be wading through for the rest of her life.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 20/04/2017 21:58

Why do the trolls always get 640 posts

We should all go to unanswered threads and exert effort on one of the poor souls there 😇😇

I just can't remember where it is

ThisAintALoveSong · 20/04/2017 22:00

OP, you are being completely reasonable.

What utter cow bags your friends are for daring to talk about a new kitchen! Why are they not as emotionally invested in your pregnancy as you are? They should practically be having sympathy pains for you!! They should be over the moon, especially since I'd imagine they would want to jump at the chance to be a godparent to little Harry Potter or Marie Curie or whichever great icon-to-be you've got cooking in there! Not to mention literally all the gifts from John Lewis they should be pampering you and bump with.
Absolute swines the lot of them!

PS Aldi do some cheap nappies and wipes and baby stuff, if your mates can't afford to buy John Lewis baby towels etc Shock

mikeyssister · 20/04/2017 22:01

Wild, you a ninja too?

HerBluebiro · 20/04/2017 22:02

What's an Irish ninja?

GaelicSiog · 20/04/2017 22:02

That's the great thing about Irish families. No quiet space to yourself, too many of you, but so many people to step in when there's a crisis. We're great at babies, us lot.

Wondermoomin · 20/04/2017 22:04

Ninja = ginger

Ecureuil · 20/04/2017 22:05

I can't help that I've been so blessed and so fortunate to get pregnant out of my friends first. I went to college, uni, started a professional career first & got married first. I've just always been up step ahead - I can't help it!!

This is the paragraph that really outs you as not being a good friend. You think you're better than them, and ahead of them... chances are this attitude shows. And chances are, that's why they're not gushing over your pregnancy (that and the fact that you're doing enough gushing for everyone)

helpneededormaybegin · 20/04/2017 22:05

Phyllis I'm going to humour you for a moment here as your posts are becoming a really really small amount more rational.

Babies, for people who don't have a babies, are, in the main, wonderful tiny beings until they poo, fart, vomit or fall asleep and then they do become slightly less wonderful. They are even less wonderful whilst they are still gestating and therefore unable to do anything remotely amusing like blow a spit bubble or babble something that sounds like a swear word.

Baby showers, for those of us who don't have babies, are pretty horrific affairs consisting of really fucking boring games like "guess what the shit coloured smear foodstuff is on the nappy" and "how well do you know the mummy to be" quizzes. Boak. The only way to enjoy them really is to drink heavily, and then little Cressida's mum who you only know through the "mummy to be" looks askance at you for drinking heavily at a baby shower. "I mean, can't some people even go one day without drinking"?, you hear her thinking aloud. No I fucking can't. But I digress.

Ask your friends why their not as pleased for you as you think they should be. You might not like the answer but at least you will have it. And then go and enjoy being pregnant. Have sex with your husband as in several months your vagina will be too sore to. Have very long hot baths - with candles - as they will become a thing of the past for a time. Paint your toenails - that too will become something you "used to do" soon. Just enjoy the experience and please, please, please don't make a John Lewis gift list for a baby shower. People will honestly hate you for it. Not to your face but behind your back things will be said about you that would make you cry if you heard them.

Over and out. And once again -thanks for such an entertaining thread!

GaelicSiog · 20/04/2017 22:06

Are you the youngest, OP? I remember you saying you had 3 siblings.

WildIrishRose1 · 20/04/2017 22:07

Indeed, Mikey, well ninja-ish. More autumnal. But in attitude, I'm ALL ninja!!!

AlcoholAndIrony · 20/04/2017 22:08

There's such a thing as throwing your "blessings" in people's faces OP.
some might call it bragging, boasting or being a dick.

Whilst it might be the most important thing to you, do you actually know how your friends feel? Do you know if they are trying and also struggling?

Anonymous1112 · 20/04/2017 22:10

This thread makes me sooooo happy and hungry. I want fajitas so badly I've ordered a Tesco shop for tomorrow with the necessary ingredients for fajita Friday (open plan kitchen diner- microwave is broken though)

GaelicSiog · 20/04/2017 22:14

wild, I have to ask, because it's rare I meet another of 10 nowadays. How did you lot do bedrooms? I'm having issues with DD's stepsister and room sharing at the moment, I want to be able to tell her how much worse we had it Grin

mygorgeousmilo · 20/04/2017 22:15

I now realllyyyyy want fajitas

Original poster
PhyllisNights · 20/04/2017 22:15

I am the youngest, yes. I'm also three quarters Irish and an Aries redhead (might explain why I provoke such a strong reaction!).

Honestly, I am taking all of this in and I thank everyone for taking the time to provide all of this advice. I'm going to sit back and try to gauge the situation tomorrow. I'll wait for someone to mention the pregnancy and then see where it takes me. It may be selfish of me, but I don't feel like apologising to any of them. I still feel very hurt from all the looks and comments.

OP posts:
WildIrishRose1 · 20/04/2017 22:18

4 bedrooms, parents in one, me and older sister in another (box room), four sisters in bunks in another (biggest), and three brothers in final one. Older brother in uni. Not a massive house, though; mealtimes were fun!

GaelicSiog · 20/04/2017 22:18

phyllis, what kind of comments? Or lack of comments?

The youngest in big families do have a tendency to be a little used to being the centre of attention. I'm Number 10 with a much larger gap between me and number 9 than between the others, I include myself 100% in this.

Ecureuil · 20/04/2017 22:18

I still feel very hurt from all the looks and comments

After reading all the responses on this thread, can you not see why they might be reacting the way they are? The reason for the looks and the comments?

TheZeppo · 20/04/2017 22:18

Am I the only one wondering why HQ haven't commented on this?

Gwilt160981 · 20/04/2017 22:18

Either find new friends or calm The pregnancy talk down a tad?

We all shit in the same pot. Humans are unique in some way or another but nobody is better than anyone else.

Chippednailvarnishing · 20/04/2017 22:20

Am I the only one wondering why HQ haven't commented on this?
I suspect it's Olivia on the wind upGrin