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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU with my friends?

999 replies

PhyllisNights · 19/04/2017 21:24

I'm the first one in my social group to get pregnant. I talk to my friends on a daily basis through WhatsApp and see them all in person at least once a week.

As it's my first pregnancy, I'm very excited. I can't stop talking about it. I'm so lucky, so happy, so fortunate & so privileged. My baby feels so special, like I know my baby will do something incredible in this world - I can feel it!!

And yet, my friends have started to turn on me. They've become very jealous. They make snide remarks, they mimick me & give me side eye. I feel like my pregnancy is the butt of all the jokes.

I can't help that I've been so blessed and so fortunate to get pregnant out of my friends first. I went to college, uni, started a professional career first & got married first. I've just always been up step ahead - I can't help it!!

Would it be unreasonable to sit my friends down and ask them to stop being so negative? I want to ask them to support me better and help me out.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
helpneededormaybegin · 20/04/2017 15:09

Ah OP.

I used to have a close friend just like you.

I don't anymore.

HTH

ForeverBroken · 20/04/2017 15:12

I think some of you don't understand how special these things are. Every night before I go to bed I go to look at how beautiful they all are.
My new kitchen cupboards, I mean. The kids are nice too but I really, really love my new kitchen.
I think I spent longer planning my kitchen than I did planning being a parent.

thatorchidmoment · 20/04/2017 15:13

You are so #blessed OP.

Placemark done

Shall read the rest of this one later. Looks juicy.

I can definitely share kitchen stories if that's a thing on this thread?

AvonBarksdale99 · 20/04/2017 15:14

Aren't all new mum's like this though?! Wink

Chavelita · 20/04/2017 15:19

OP, your friends are probably like I was at 29, pitying you for being married and pregnant in your twenties when their minds are on other things, and trying not to make that too obvious...

QueenieMum · 20/04/2017 15:29

Networking for baby shower guests? Have I entered a parallel universe?! I really am HmmShockat all your posts OP. You seem to think that everyone in your life should appreciate your brilliance and fall over themselves to be as involved in your life as you are. Carry on living your life as you see fit and if people want to join in, great but if not carry on regardless.

Cheby · 20/04/2017 15:34

Well this has been entertaining. Grin I almost want there to be real people like the OP in the world.

Crapuccino that was a picture of a taco, not a fajita. We at least need to be asking Mumsnet for the right food. 😂

NorksAkimbo72 · 20/04/2017 15:38

Shamelessly placemarking...this thread is gold!

Gah81 · 20/04/2017 15:42

It is the way you have expressed yourself, OP. It honestly does sound like you think you are something special and if that is how you sound in real life, then I can understand why your friends are getting irritating and making snide remarks.

Millions of people have got married, pregnant, left uni, had a professional career etc. It is lovely that you are excited but ypu are not the first to do any of this and will not be the last. We are all of us entirely ordinary (except for a very, very rare few eg Einstein or Ada Lovelace etc).

SheSaidHeSaid · 20/04/2017 15:43

Oh dear lord, this has moved on since I first saw it and commented.

Wtf. Seriously, op, you can't be serious?? You must be having us on now?!

Chippednailvarnishing · 20/04/2017 15:48

If none of them are up for organising one then I may delegate it to my sisters instead

Wow how generous of you.
I bet that will be the highlight of their social calendars.

Crapuccino · 20/04/2017 15:55

Cheby: Crapuccino that was a picture of a taco, not a fajita. We at least need to be asking Mumsnet for the right food. 😂

Dammit. Is this better?? The Fuck-off Fajita needs to be perfect.

AIBU with my friends?
PornSamMartini · 20/04/2017 15:59

YABU! Your friends do not want to constantly listen to you going on about a baby! they're happy for you but chill out a bit Smile

FrenchJunebug · 20/04/2017 16:04

op please come back! Also I now want fajitas.

NorksAkimbo72 · 20/04/2017 16:14

This thread has been a horrible reminder that I was once like you, OP, and I can assure you, your friends won't stick around. Though I wasn't first in my group of old friends to marry or have babies, I was the one who thought the sun shone out of my Dcs arses, and I talked constantly about them and boasted about how wonderful they were, how amazing it was that i could stay home with them (they all had to go back to work), and went on about every milestone they surpassed before anyone else's kids. I had a rude awakening when two of the group dropped me with no explanation at all...totally ghosted me. It hurt, it still hurts 10 years later, but I learned a huge lesson in humility and what it means to be a good friend. I cringe when i think of what a twat i was...and though I still think my kids are wonderful, it wasn't any sort of brilliant parenting that made them that way. The close friends I have now have stuck because I care for them, listen to them and don't compete with them.
Do NOT delegate anyone to throw you a baby shower. Realise that your friends just might not want to hear every detail of your pregnancy, and have their own stuff going on. Remember who you were before you got pregnant, and be that person with your friends. I say this because when I really needed my old friends as my children got older, they were gone, by my own doing!

lasttimeround · 20/04/2017 16:14

Sniggers

PaulAnkaTheDog · 20/04/2017 16:26

Reading this had made me the happiest I've been all day. No idea how I missed it until now!

HerBluebiro · 20/04/2017 16:36

Oh dear op. If mnhq say you are real I'll believe them.

But please listen to the message on here through the ribbing. You are pregnant. Same as so many women before you. Different to those who want it but can't have it. And different to your friends.

This does not make you a better person than your friends. Just a bit different. The stamp analogy above put it best. You are just not that interesting to them right now.

Whereas a new kitchen is interesting to everyone. I have total kitchen envy. And am sad that the pop up microwave was but a piped ream. But what a pipe dream

Mysterycat23 · 20/04/2017 16:45

OP I've only read your first post but it's a joke right? Or you're sounding out a character idea for one of those god awful Hollywood chick flicks? Please tell me it's a joke or at least a reverse... must read the rest of the thread soon...

Flumpernickel · 20/04/2017 16:48

Cheby... think this is a burrito actually but it is a tad closer! 🌯 🌯 Grin

Flumpernickel · 20/04/2017 16:52

Damn, I want mexican food...

babybubblescomingsoon · 20/04/2017 16:57

Please tell me this is a reverse. Please

UppityHumpty · 20/04/2017 17:02

Your friends are pitying you, believe me no twenty-something is ever jealous of then friend who got married and knocked up first. If they have an opinion either way it's probably judgement.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 20/04/2017 17:03

It's easy to get totally obsessed with your pregnancy but if you are anything like you sound in your posts, your friends will be sick of you going on about it. You sound very naive and also, I'm afraid, lacking self awareness of how you come across. Rein it in fast, or your friends will stop inviting you to Fajita Friday! Grin You're not the first woman to have a baby, billions have done it before you. It's exciting for you and your DH but not so much to everyone else, sorry.

Also, please don't tell someone to organise you a baby shower. It's really crass and tacky. If someone wants to do it, then it's a lovely gesture. If you demand it, it's grabby and awful. Most people in the UK prefer to wait until the baby is safely here then buy a small gift.

BTW, I was the first in my group of friends to get married and have children. It was not a big deal, just the way it happened. Please don't expect special treatment just because you got pregnant first. You are entering a time where you will have different priorities to your friends and if you keep harping on about baby stuff when they're not at that stage, you will alienate them.

Only1scoop · 20/04/2017 17:05

Blimey it was realShock

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