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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to leave my baby overnight just yet?

63 replies

LilacSpatula · 19/04/2017 20:53

She's 19 weeks and we have been invited to a wedding. They're happy for her to come but it's in Manchester and we are in the Home Counties, so it's fairly far away. Am I being precious in wanting her to be with me, even though I know she won't get much out of it? My sister has offered to have her.

Am I just being a knob? DH doesn't mind and has offered to go up to the hotel room when she sleeps so that I can hang out with my friends but I'm worried I'm being precious.

OP posts:
FurryElephant · 19/04/2017 20:57

No! Mines the same age and I wouldn't leave her her either, the longest she's been away from me is about 20 minutes Blushit's up to you if you're comfortable with it or not, everyone is different!

lilydaisyrose · 19/04/2017 20:58

Nope not being precious - she's still tiny! I have a 17w old and couldn't imagine leaving her yet. If they are happy for you to bring her and your DH will be there too, you've got a great solution and are all sorted.

We took DD1 to my cousin's wedding at 13m old. She slept in her car seat throughout the whole disco!

Chottie · 19/04/2017 20:59

Your baby, your rules.

If you don't feel happy leaving her, then don't. And you don't have to explain yourself to anyone either. :)

TheElephantofSurprise · 19/04/2017 21:01

Don't leave her! She needs you and you need her.

treaclesoda · 19/04/2017 21:01

Not precious at all. My son was four before I left him overnight and that was fine by me, I had no desire to leave him any earlier than that. Some people don't like to stay away overnight, some people don't mind. Neither is wrong, you can only do what you feel happy with.

PetalMettle · 19/04/2017 21:02

No not at all. Ds was bottle refusing and feeding 12-16 times a day at that age so I couldn't have left him

TotalPineapple · 19/04/2017 21:02

YANBU, can't imagine leaving mine overnight and she's 7 months.

Heirhelp · 19/04/2017 21:03

Definitely not. I can't imagine leaving my baby over night and she is nearly one.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 19/04/2017 21:03

I did not leave my son overnight until he was 18 months old. YANBU.

TooGood2BeFalse · 19/04/2017 21:03

OP DS2 is 9 months old and despite me encouraging all my mum friends - if it comes up in conversation- to get a break when they can...still haven't left him for longer than 5 hours.I completely understand, I wish I could unclench a bit but he's so dinky!!

RaeSkywalker · 19/04/2017 21:04

DS is 6 months old and no way in hell am I leaving him overnight anytime soon. If you're more comfortable taking her- take her.

SheepyFun · 19/04/2017 21:04

I haven't spent an entire night away from my 4 year old yet. And the only occasions I've spent part of the night away from her have involved taking DH to A&E. While I would consider it now (certainly if DH were around instead), short of a distant funeral, I can't imagine doing it any time soon. I don't think she'd be impressed at neither of us being around either (family aren't close).

Rainydayspending · 19/04/2017 21:05

When it's that far it's not as though you can just 'nip back' on your own early/ for an hour if it gets too much for you/ person caring for baby.
If they're fine I'd take the baby and wing it.

Cheby · 19/04/2017 21:05

YANBU. DD1 was 18 months old when I first left her overnight. And that was only for a job interview and I left her with DH.

Squidgling · 19/04/2017 21:06

No its fine. Do what you're comfortable with. My dd turned 2 last month and I've still not left her overnight yet.

wheresthel1ght · 19/04/2017 21:06

not at all precious. My dd spent her first time away form me when we moved house. it was awful and I hated it & she was with me overnight! she was 5 months so about the same age, there is no way I could have left her over night. in fact I think she was well over a year old before I felt comfortable leaving her. she is now 3.5 and has only been away from me a handful of times overnight.

CookingMamama · 19/04/2017 21:10

I havent left my DD once yet and shes 9 months old, I wouldnt even consider overnight but that is largely as she is still breastfeeding. 19 weeks is really young to be away all night and you might find it hard to relax and enjoy the night without DC

Original poster
LilacSpatula · 19/04/2017 21:13

Thank you everyone - I think it's because I can't nip back and see that she's ok so it feels massive!

OP posts:
Backhometothenorth · 19/04/2017 21:13

First and only time I have left 4 year old DD1 overnight was when I was in hospital having DD2. You should do what feels right for your family.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/04/2017 21:16

Would you consider getting a room for your sister if she was willing to come? That might be the best of both worlds. I had an over night from my baby at about 20 weeks but I was sober and he was at grandma's 2 minutes away so it was easy to fix if she was unhappy.

Crunchymum · 19/04/2017 21:18

Only left my 2y 3m old last week as the older child was admitted to hospital Blush

Crunchymum · 19/04/2017 21:19
  • left her overnight for the first time last week
Gillian1980 · 19/04/2017 21:20

Yanbu.

Dd is 20 months and I've not left her overnight yet. I've been on a couple of evenings out but not overnight.

NapQueen · 19/04/2017 21:20

Just take her with you. She will probably snooze ok in her pushchair in the evening.

Smashthelookingglass · 19/04/2017 21:23

Nope. My DS is 7 months old and I took him with me to a wedding last week. It was several hours away too. When he was tired, i went to bed with him and DH stayed at the wedding.
I haven't left him yet either as he is EBF, but do what makes you feel comfortable.