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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re travel time for my daughter?

153 replies

kimann · 19/04/2017 16:24

My daughter has been accepted into a school 40 minutes by train from our home - I didn't think it was that bad before someone commented that it was unbelievably long. Daughter can't go by cat because she has awful motion sickness. Am I being unreasonable to put her through such a long journey for school? I feel like crap now! ConfusedSad

OP posts:
GreatFuckability · 19/04/2017 16:41

wolfie where I live children start school nursery full time at age 3. We are in the UK.

motherofdaemons · 19/04/2017 16:42

Who will commute with her? I think 40 mins isn't bad (I'm guessing you're in London and she's got into a private nursery/school?) My kids school (private) is about 3 miles away from home, takes 15 mins in no traffic but in rush hour can easily take 40. The train will be more pleasant than being stuck in a car.

Wolfiefan · 19/04/2017 16:42

It's not a school. It's a nursery then.
I think adding that much time to a school day at aged three is madness. I'm guessing this a highly sought after private school?

Spikeyball · 19/04/2017 16:42

Children at special school can easily spend that long on school transport but it being on public transport may make it more stressful.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 19/04/2017 16:44

Unless you live in the wilds of Scotland, there is no school for a 3 year old that is worth that kind of journey every day.

MajesticWhine · 19/04/2017 16:45

Whether YABU or not depends on what the alternatives would be. It does sound like a bit of a drag to travel that far

drspouse · 19/04/2017 16:45

Well, she could be rising 4 so starting Reception in Sept.

Is this on your way to work/near your work and you'll be going to school then on to work? And are there no nearer schools with spaces?

Otherwise I would say no way. Even if this is the one allocated then I'd be looking for a waiting list space nearer.

brasty · 19/04/2017 16:48

My DP lived in a very rural area and had a long commute from 4 years of age. I think it will be fine.

happypoobum · 19/04/2017 16:51

I wouldn't do it.

  1. It's very squashed standing room only around here on morning trains, and no way would anyone give up their seat to you, even if you were pregnant/disabled.
  1. She will be very very tired with that commute.
  1. Do you work? How will it fit in with your work? If SAHP, you still have to spend HOURS of your day commuting and waiting around for trains there and back twice a day.
  1. It makes it hard for DD to make friendships outside of school hours.
  1. When she progresses to next stage of school, will you be even further away? Or is it a private school age 3 - 18?
TenFeetTall · 19/04/2017 16:53

That's a long commute for such a small child. Who is doing that with her? It sounds like a nightmare to me. I have a 20 minute school run and it's hard enough.

CantChoose · 19/04/2017 16:54

I was also disappointed this wasn't about time travel. Perked up when I saw it might be travel by cat but no such luck :(

Wedrine4me · 19/04/2017 16:55

You'll get fed up doing 4 ways each day. All her friends will be spread in all directions and she won't be able to get to parties or play dates because of the motion sickness.

Are we talking a state school?

BluePeppersAndBroccoli · 19/04/2017 16:56

I had a commute that long (often longer in the am when the roads were busier) when I was a child.
My niece who is living in the countryside has a longer journey with the school bus. She has been doing that since reception (4yo).

Yes it will feel very long for the parents who take their dcs walking to school.
But not every child can go to school to the school next door and have a 5mins walk and this is totally ok.

wickerlampshade · 19/04/2017 16:56

40 minutes on a good day or that's worst case? Loads of people send their kids to private school a distance away for primary, I wouldn't stress too much about it if you think it's the right school.

SavoyCabbage · 19/04/2017 16:57

That is quite a long journey to be doing every single day twice a day.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 19/04/2017 16:58

I did that, and many London kids do. yanbu

NorksAreMessy · 19/04/2017 17:00

Three!!!
I thought that was a typo for 13

Eek

witsender · 19/04/2017 17:01

I wouldn't.

Babymamamama · 19/04/2017 17:02

OP lots of UK based children dont go to nursery full time at age three. It's also far too much travel please rethink are there no options closer to your home I wonder?

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 19/04/2017 17:04

Mine are at a school which is a 10 minute walk away, come Friday they are a pair of mardy fuckers so no way would I consider it tbh.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 19/04/2017 17:06

What is the total travel time (including waiting for train)? If you are talking about a five min walk to train station, five min wait for train, 20 min journey and 10 min into school although a bit of a pain it would be doable. If it is 40 min actually on the train then it might be too much.

MitzyLeFrouf · 19/04/2017 17:09

a) i totally read that as 'time travel' to begin with and now i'm disappointed.

Me too Sad

I was hoping she'd timeslipped somewhere exciting.

sadsquid · 19/04/2017 17:16

Agree it depends - is that 40 minutes door to door or 40 minutes just on the train? I used to live half an hour's walk from DD's school. When she was 3 I bundled her in the buggy to get there at a reasonable pace, but it didn't feel like a crazy amount of time spent on the hoof or anything.

If it's get out the house, walk to the station, wait for the train, sit on the train for 40 mins and then get to school at the other end, that sounds like a heck of a palaver for a 3 year old.

harderandharder2breathe · 19/04/2017 17:16

That's crazy for a three year old! If you have any closer options at all then you're insane for choosing to send your toddler on a 40 minute commute twice a day!

Is it 40 mins total or 40 mins train journey? Because the latter will easily be an hour total, which is fine for an adult commute but far too much for a three year old!

Who's going to be spending 4 hours of their day taking her to and from school every day?

If she's ill and needs collecting, you're an hour away.

Commuter trains can be hellish for adults, why would you subject your small child to a jam packed train every day?

If you have ANY other choice, take it

Notso · 19/04/2017 17:18

My 17 year old has a 40 minute journey to a school that she chose. She hates the journey and it's caused some issues for her.
What will you do if she gets sent home sick? Or when there are parents days, coffee mornings, fundraisers and parents evenings?

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