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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Welsh wedding invitation.

653 replies

Spikeyplant · 18/04/2017 22:39

Just as it says in the title really.

My DH has a significantly younger relative who is getting married this summer. We have just received an invitation to the wedding, written entirely in Welsh. Neither DH or I speak Welsh and the bride and groom are well aware of this.

I am totally cool with somebody who grew up in a Welsh first language family wanting to celebrate their wedding in their language. However I can't help feeling it is a bit rude to send out invitations in a language many guests can't understand without even a short note in a mutually spoken language.

AIBU?

OP posts:
SecretNetter · 23/04/2017 08:49

I am Welsh, live in South Wales and proud to be Welsh. I don't speak a word of Welsh

Bollocks you don't, if you've been born and brought up here.

I'm a long way from being anywhere near fluent but I've never met anyone, any adult or child over about 8 who literally couldn't speak or understand anything...even if it's just your colours and numbers which are drilled into you from nursery. You'd have to be brought up in a cave or spectacularly dim not to retain even a couple of words Hmm

lottieandmia · 23/04/2017 08:56

I agree SecretNetter - I picked up a lot just from being a student there.

Gwenhwyfar · 23/04/2017 09:04

" if I state that it would have been courteous to include a small translation I must be one of 'those people' mentioned above. "

I didn't say you were need. My comment, which you quoted wasn't about you.

Gwenhwyfar · 23/04/2017 09:08

"You'd have to be brought up in a cave or spectacularly dim not to retain even a couple of words hmm"

I'm not sure about this. If a person is over a certain age it wouldn't have been taught at school when they were growing up and many people are 'dim' in the sense that they don't look at bilingual signs or pay attention to any Welsh that's around them. A friend of mine didn't know what 'heddlu' means even though it's on every police car so must be something she's seen thousands of time in a context that would make it clear what it was. Another didn't know 'ysgol' was school, which shocked me as so many schools whether Welsh medium or English medium have it in their names now.

Other people pick things up more quickly. I remember a foreign resident asking me about mutations because he'd seen 'Croeso i Gaerdydd' and noticed it wasn't 'Croeso i Caerdydd'. His non-Welsh speaking Welsh girlfriend had told him he must have been mistaken.

SecretNetter · 23/04/2017 09:33

I can't be bothered to trail back pages again...but it's just occurred to me that it was the poster who said she 'doesn't speak a word' who also said she's forced to now answer the phone with a Welsh greeting...so that's clearly rubbish anyway as she know enough Welsh to greet someone whether she wants to or not Grin

Even for those in the age bracket where they didn't get so much at school, I honestly think you'd be hard pushed to find anyone in Wales who couldn't speak or understand a word. Even the majority of the older generation will have dc or gdc who are immersed in the basics and inevitably come out with the odd line. The news has a a Welsh greeting. Shops have Welsh welcome signs. A massive amount of signs have both Welsh and English, letters from HMRC and the like are two sided in Welsh and English and government telephone services answer with Croeso (the automated bit).

Some seem resolutely determined to ignore it but it's just not possible nowadays IMO.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 23/04/2017 10:18

YABU - it is fine to send out a wedding invitation in your own language. No translation is needed. I sent all ours in English even though people were coming from abroad. You could have asked a Welsh speaking MNer to help you translate rather than complaining. You went to uni in Wales I imagine you've picked up a reasonable understanding of the basic words you'd need to understand a wedding invitation. I feel sorry for the B&G in this case.

missmartha · 23/04/2017 10:35

I went to Uni in Wales, there is no way on I could understand a wedding invite in Welsh. It's hard, very hard and even people living in Wales but who haven't been brought up speaking it, and there are loads, have a problem with it.

missmartha · 23/04/2017 10:41

SecretNetter there are all sorts of companies in Wales who teach people on the front line to parrot a few words in Welsh. Words of greeting I guess. I have no idea what they're saying and a lot of them don't either.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 23/04/2017 10:42

I'm not a Welsh speaker but I can't say enough how strongly I feel about the importance of speaking and protecting minority languages. I feel sad at idea that a group of 8 Welsh speaking friend cannot chat in Welsh because of NonWelsh partners being at the table. I get that it's rude to exclude someone but I think that person should try to speak Welsh in those circs.

NotDavidTennant · 23/04/2017 10:52

The two biggest unis in Wales (Cardiff and Swansea) are in cities were you will virtually never hear Welsh used. You would have to actively seek out opportunities to hear and speak Welsh, it's not something you would just pick up.

DoorwayToNorway · 23/04/2017 11:36

I'm not sure about that notDavid my mum went to Swansea in the 60's. She hasn't been to Wales for at least 15 years but she still remembers lots of words that she picked up at uni.
I do think it would be courteous to include a translation, but in this day and age of the Internet, text messaging and goggle translate, there's no real need. If people choose not to go to a Welsh wedding because the invitation is in Welsh then that smacks of an overreaction by the terminally offended.
I'm really saddened by the attitude on this thread towards Welsh, especially by Welsh people. I teach ESL abroad, when I told my Year 10's recently that English is not the only language spoken in the UK. They were intrigued. One girl did a beautiful presentation about Wales and Welsh. If I was Welsh I'd be really proud of that heritage. English is boring by comparison, everyone and his uncle can speak it.

WelshMoth · 23/04/2017 12:19

I find the people that speak Welsh around here pretty pretentious if I'm honest.

Sad

I hope you aren't near me - Welsh is my first language, same for all my family and most of my social circle. We speak it and switch to English if there are non Welsh speakers in our circle, but on a day to day basis, it's the language we function in.

To be deemed as pretentious makes me feel a bit Sad. It's shit like this which causes issues.

welshweasel · 23/04/2017 12:31

Not sure about Swansea but I lived in Cardiff for ten years fairly recently and certainly heard Welsh spoken on a daily basis. Quite a few of my Welsh speaking colleagues would talk in Welsh if on the phone to each other for example. And it was common to be in a cafe and hear friends chatting in Welsh. Nowhere near as common as in some other parts of Wales where Welsh is the default language but definitely there.

Llareggub · 23/04/2017 12:33

I went to a meeting recently with a government agency in Cardiff. The entire meeting was conducted in Welsh. I hear it a lot in government circles but yes, generally you don't hear much welsh in Swansea and Cardiff.

I am in my 40s and we are the lost generation as far as Welsh is concerned. We weren't really taught it all all. My primary aged boys are educated in english but they use welsh words interchangeably as they hear so much at school. I think it is great that the use of welsh is increasing so much.

OverByYer · 23/04/2017 15:09

SecretNetter

I can say bore da
And penbll hapus
That's about it.

I went to a Welsh university- never spoken there.
I'm just not interested.
If people want to speak it, it's fine. Up to them. I have nieces and nephews in Welsh medium schools.
I am just not interested in it.
I don't need to speak it, I don't want to speak it.
I'm not stoppping anyone else if they want to speak it. I don't care if people speak it to each other and I don't understand it, box on.

OverByYer · 23/04/2017 15:11

Oh and I'm not dim either.
I'm in my 40s, it was never taught at school apart from learning the anthem parrot fashion

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2017 15:47

I can say bore da
And penbll hapus
That's about it.

And you know the anthem.

Yet you swore you couldn't speak a single word. Hmm
.

OverByYer · 23/04/2017 15:49

Whatever

AntigoneJones · 23/04/2017 16:53

so as well as bore da and penbll hapus, you can also say 'heddlu', 'diolch' 'dim ysmygu' and 'araf'...
In fact you have an immense Welsh vocabulary!

AntigoneJones · 23/04/2017 16:54

oh and 'dim parcio'..:)

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2017 17:00

I'd bet a tenner on your kids having taught you at least part of "mi welais jac y do" too.

OverByYer · 23/04/2017 17:07

Yes Antigone, you're right. On that basis I concede that would make me fluent. I've been so silly. Grin

OverByYer · 23/04/2017 17:08

Titty sorry I have no idea on that one sorry

AntigoneJones · 23/04/2017 17:10

..and 'cwtch'..:)

OverByYer · 23/04/2017 17:14

I'm going to go and eat a loaf of bara brith right now in shame.
There's me thinking I can't speak a word of Spanish either but I know
Hola
Gracias
Cerveza
On, dos, tres, quatro

I'm a veritable polyglot

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