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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Welsh wedding invitation.

653 replies

Spikeyplant · 18/04/2017 22:39

Just as it says in the title really.

My DH has a significantly younger relative who is getting married this summer. We have just received an invitation to the wedding, written entirely in Welsh. Neither DH or I speak Welsh and the bride and groom are well aware of this.

I am totally cool with somebody who grew up in a Welsh first language family wanting to celebrate their wedding in their language. However I can't help feeling it is a bit rude to send out invitations in a language many guests can't understand without even a short note in a mutually spoken language.

AIBU?

OP posts:
AntigoneJones · 19/04/2017 20:36

well I have never been to a wedding held in Welsh but I have been to a funeral and the minister was very considerate of the English speakers. Like Welsh speakers have to be...
a little consideration back would be a good thing surely?
It was the original language of these islands after all...

SpreadYourHappiness · 19/04/2017 20:38

MrsTerryPratchett No, but so many people compose their own vows these days it'd be nice to know what they actually are.

zwellers · 19/04/2017 20:46

I once got something in a language the people sending knew I didn't speak or read. I chucked it in the bin end of. Why should I waste my time typing something into Google to get it translated. If they wanted me there they would made sure I could understand it

Siwdmae · 19/04/2017 20:58

I'm surprised it wasn't a bilingual invite given its probably gone to a mix of English/Welsh.

I went to a Welsh uni. All classes were in English. One shopkeeper did switch mid sentence from English to Welsh as I opened the door. It can feel a little isolating sometimes.

Has anyone mentioned the Welsh speaking community in Patagonia yet? Grin

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 22:58

"I'm surprised it wasn't a bilingual invite given its probably gone to a mix of English/Welsh."

Have you read ANY of the thread?
It's been brought up a few times that a bilingual invitation would give the impression that the wedding itself was bilingual. I've no doubt the OP would then be complaining about the wrong impression given.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 23:02

"if you are inviting somebody to your wedding they should be able to understand where and when it is!"

As I've written many times, when and where will be very easy to glean. Times and dates have figures in them, place names are, well, place names.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 23:06

"I know someone who lives in Brussels and speaks French but not Flemish - is that rude?"

I lived in Brussels for a long time. All French speakers growing up in Brussels get taught Dutch (Flemish) as a school subject, but because all the Flemish people living in Brussels are bilingual, the French speakers often don't bother to learn Dutch to a good standard. They have quite a superiority complex about it.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 23:08

"I don't understand why some posters take this as an attack to Welsh people / language. It would be the same if the invite was in another language that the OP doesn't understand."

I really don't think it would be.

SpreadYourHappiness · 19/04/2017 23:10

Gwenhwyfar

Actually, yes it would be. It is not an attack on the Welsh language, people or culture.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 23:10

"Unless the couple are very insular, it is very unlikely that there won't be a significant number at the wedding who don't understand Welsh (at least very well)."

So a Welsh speaker whose family members and friends are mainly Welsh speakers is 'very insular'? Hmm.

AntigoneJones · 19/04/2017 23:11

no, I agree, if it was in a different language all the English speakers would be falling over themselves to get to google translate and show off how cultured they are...
However it is Welsh, and that seems to drive English people insane.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 23:16

"They clearly don't care too much about me being there if they can't provide the means for me to understand the vows being said"

What do you think they're likely to be saying? Most wedding have the same kind of theme, don't they? Hymns can be enjoyed in any language and you can join in too if you have the words in a Latin script.

SpreadYourHappiness · 19/04/2017 23:19

Gwenhwyfar Same theme, certainly, but like I've already said, a lot of people these days like to write their own vows and it'd be nice to know what they were pledging to each other.

Stop taking this so personally.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 23:20

"Welsh speaker here. Few Welsh speakers have entirely welsh social circles and I must admit this is a bit odd.
We had some welsh language bits to our day but the invitations were mostly bilingual."

Frazzled, I'm guessing that either your spouse isn't Welsh speaking or quite a few family members aren't. If both bride and groom and their families speak Welsh it's quite different, even if they have some non-Welsh speaking friends.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 23:24

"Actually, yes it would be. It is not an attack on the Welsh language, people or culture."

No, I really don't think it would be. Someone mentioned above that it was nothing like an invitation in French to a wedding in France. I really don't believe OP would be complaining if it was in a language she respected in a country she respected as being a different country.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2017 23:26

"Gwenhwyfar Same theme, certainly, but like I've already said, a lot of people these days like to write their own vows and it'd be nice to know what they were pledging to each other."

We don't know if that's the case for the OP. In any case, you don't need t understand everything. There are bits that might just be a bit boring for you, but with a bit of effort you would be able to join in with the singing.

I think you're the one taking it personally actually as you think everyone should change their arrangements to suit you.

SpreadYourHappiness · 19/04/2017 23:41

Gwenhwyfar I'm not asking anyone to change their arrangements to suit me. I just wouldn't go.

And yes, it really would be the same. For me at least; obviously I can't speak for the OP.

Aintgotnosoapbox · 19/04/2017 23:41

I don't think they are intending to exclude you, it's just their first language and maybe they are signalling that the vows, service and speeches will also be in Welsh.
First language Welsh speaking people do just converse and live entirely through the Welsh language.

Bluebell28 · 19/04/2017 23:59

I have gotten wedding invitations written in Irish ..it wasn't offensive to those who can't speak it. Anyone who is a relative or friend knows the time/place/date of wedding already. English invitations aren't sent out with translations so why would the Welsh do it

SpreadYourHappiness · 20/04/2017 00:05

Bluebell28 I don't think it's offensive, but I do think it's rude.

English invitations don't need a translation in the UK as pretty much everyone speaks English. With Welsh, a lot of Welsh people don't even speak it, hence the need for a translation (particularly if you're sending invites to English friends/relatives).

Bluebell28 · 20/04/2017 00:07

Thatstoast sin sin

goose1964 · 20/04/2017 00:12

This post has made me realise just how much Welsh I've forgotten.

CeriBerry · 20/04/2017 00:46

As a fluent Welsh speaker and someone who is proud to be Cymraeg, the attitudes on this thread have really depressed me. As if people actually think that we turn to Welsh on purpose when anyone English walks in and deliberately exclude them?! Try speaking a different language to the one you've always spoken to your friend/family member. It doesn't feel natural.
Cannot believe how little respect there is for the Welsh language, even being compared to Klingon! It's not some primitive insignificant language, it's a living breathing one through which many people live their daily lives. I feel privileged to have gone through a welsh medium education and be able to speak the language completely fluently but quite frankly I'm horrified that there are people on this thread who would actually refuse to attend a wedding just because it was in Welsh. Xenophobia and paranoia.
It's the same on the baby names threads where any Welsh name gets mentioned. Heaven forbid you give your child a name that isn't a standard English one, they will face a life of hardship. So strange how so many English people just can't seem to bear the fact that Welsh exists and is spoken. Very sad.

Mwynha'r briodas OP!

SpreadYourHappiness · 20/04/2017 01:04

CeriBerry I wouldn't refuse to attend just because it's in Welsh. I would refuse to attend because I couldn't understand the language, and that goes for ANY language I can't speak. It just so happens that this thread is based on Welsh. It's not xenophobia at all.

Bluebell28 · 20/04/2017 01:04

I honestly can't see anything wrong with writing an invitation in your own native language. .it looks liks there is some background of bad feeling towards the person being invited because normally you know the details of a wedding before an invitation is sent, the invitation is just a to confirm numbers. I can't speak Welsh but if I lived in Wales I would expect to learn it and hear it as it is Wales