about changing a nappy on a cafe table?

[Catsize]

So, I usually grab something quick and cheap for lunch but decided to treat myself to a nice baked spud in an art gallery cafe.

Half way through said spud, and perusing MN, I looked up to see that the people on the table nearby were changing a baby's nappy on the table where they'd just eaten.

My face must have been a bit of a picture because one of the women looked at me as if to say 'what?'. Feeling I had to justify myself, I said 'it's just that it's a bit grim changing a baby's nappy on a cafe table'.

The woman doing the changing asked if I was a mum. Instead of saying 'what difference would that make?', I said I had two children. She said she didn't realise I was watching(?). I said it was more of a hygiene thing, but yes, it had put me off my lunch somewhat.

She replied that it was 'only a bit of wee'.

So, was I being unreasonable hygiene thing and it is 'only a bit of wee', or is this utterly grim?

For clarity, this was in an area out of sight of the staff and I was the only other customer in that area.

The loos were ten paces away, full changing facilities and pristine.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

I think it's normal to be more tolerant re just wee from a tiny baby. If I had been one of the mothers at the meet up MrsKoala describes it wouldn't have bothered me at all.
But part of the reason why it is generally a no-no is that anyone who sees will be grossed out and put off their food regardless of actual hygiene risk. I don't believe any diseases would be spread by a quick wet nappy switch on a changing mat on a pub table but in general it's really not fair to the other customers regardless.

[Quimby]

Tabby

What a filth bag

[FamilySpartan]

It's fucking disgusting. If an adult walked in and pissed on the table it would be universally perceived as wrong. It makes no difference that it's a baby.

I think parents get desensitised to their own child's bodily waste.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

Changing a nappy on a table is gong to get you judged by most people. For a reason.

Family is exactly right - parents of babies change nappies so frequently, that they get desensitised to the contents.

Other people are not in the least bit desensitised.

Everyone who's been a parent has been in a tight spot when it's come to nappy changes - probably many times. It's part and parcel.

The great majority of people know to avoid tables.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

of course if you or Bibbity were there and said you didn't like it i would have left in search of other options.

It doesn't really work like that in real life though, does it? We're socialised to smile and be polite.

It's a social occasion, you're meeting people for the first time - nobody wants to cause a scene.

People will just say it's OK, even if they're internally thinking, 'grim, grim, grim'.

[JustCallMeKate]

I've seen this a couple of times in cafes and find it disgusting. The worst one is saw was on a flight and the mother changed a shitty nappy on her seat. The cabin was filled with the aroma of shit for ages afterwards,

[NotReallyMeToday]

It's incredibly grim and there is no excuse whatsoever. I'm actually pretty horrified that there are posters who seem to think it is remotely OK.

[Catsize]

The sanitary towel analogy is pretty good.

'It's only a bit of blood'.

And it wouldn't be going anywhere near a surface people use for a meal.

Of course, if it were a proper MN thing, it would have to be a Mooncup.

[frieda909]

I would find this grim! On the floor I could understand but not on the table. Never on the table!

However, nothing beats the time I was having lunch at a place with a big outdoor seating area and there was a kid (maybe 3 years old?) running around with no pants or nappy on, chasing the pigeons. Suddenly, right in my eyeline, he just squatted down and plopped out a massive turd right there on the floor

Then his mum came over, laughing, scooped it up with a paper plate and threw it in the bin. Then just went back to her friends without so much as a backwards glance.

I still feel ill just thinking about it.

[Valentine2]

I would have complained to the manager right there and then.its so disgusting at so many levels.

[ineedwine99]

Grim. I have an 8 month old, would never consider changing her somewhere like that, if your out alone you just have to pack up your things and take it all with you to the changing facilities.

[Valentine2]

frieda909

[MrEBear]

Sorry but there's no need to change a baby on a table.

The tightest spot I've been in is a very old boat. The baby change was in the disabled loo - except it was fitted with a radar key - the boat operators could not find their key. There was no space in the ladies. It was freezing cold on the deck - no chance was I stripping a baby when it was so bitter cold outside. The only below deck space was in the cafe area - very grim I know - I resorted to changing a very wet bum on the bench seat in the corner which I thought was bad enough. I can't imagine considering using a table.

[frieda909]

Thanks Valentine2... and sorry for sharing such a gross story

[dementedma]

Even "just" a wet nappy on a table is disgusting.
If I piss on a table is it ok?

[marriednotdead]

For the record.
I was at the meetup where MrsKoala changed her baby on the bench/table/worktop whatever at the side. She checked with everyone in the room more than once, nobody gave it a second thought and there were no cats bum faces behind her back either. There was nowhere else suitable so she did what she needed to do. Nobody died.
Sorry for those who missed the opportunity to froth in person

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Objecting to nappies being changed on dining tables is not frothing

[frauleinsallybowles]

.

[Italiangreyhound]

It's not just the people who are present. It is the next lot of dinners who will be using that table.

[Catsize]

I know, that was my first thought italian, and why I suggested that the staff might want to use some disinfectant on the table. They did, with gusto. The poor bloke who did it even thought that maybe they should put up a sign saying where the toilets are so people don't do it. Couldn't believe he was blaming himself! No need - you have to walk past the toilets in the gallery to get to the cafe. And it's pretty obvious that in a large art gallery with full wheelchair access over several floors, that there will be a loo somewhere.

[dontbesillyhenry]

So just because someone's mumsnet mates have to come and back them up the majority of normal people are 'frothing'???????!!

[dontbesillyhenry]

I might ask my mumsnet friend to come and confirm I am not in fact frothing as we speak

[user1471545174]

Rank AND stupid. YANBU.

[thatverynightinmaxsroom]

OP YANBU.

Mrs K YWNBU either.

Table in middle of cafe surrounded by strangers is very different to table at side of room surrounded by friends/acquaintances.

I've been to one MN meet up and about 8 of us used a side table to change nappies, nobody seemed remotely bothered (I normally do it on the floor if no facilities but since several others had used the table I followed suit) so maybe this thread is drawing a self selecting audience?!

Everyone laid out mats/muslins so no bums actually touched the table.