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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think something should of been said?!

65 replies

user1470064958 · 15/04/2017 20:12

Visited some family with DD today, and I've come away really upset I'm not sure if I'm being oversensitive or overreacting.

A conversation took place and we looked at some old baby pics of their little ones, a comment was made by one of the kids how she was a fat baby in one of the pictures, she then said I was 'fat like you, you were really fat' to which I replied I wasn't a fat baby, she then replied 'no you used to be really fat!!! '

In context I was previously a size 12 (so never really fat , not fat at all!! ) I'm now a size 6 as I have severe IBS

What's upset me as mum and grandma were there and neither told her that was rude or not to say that, even after I repeated it to them in shock. Nothing was said at all apparently that was fine to say to me and not rude etc.

Also what concerns me is I think that must of been said about me by the adults as kids especially under 10s don't tend to remember how someone looked 4 years ago?!

I think if DD ever said that I'd be mortified , I can't believe it was ignored?!

OP posts:
helpimitchy · 15/04/2017 20:16

Were you fat when you were a baby though? Some babies are fat, then lose it once they get a bit older. Some of them will never be fat again.

SomethingBorrowed · 15/04/2017 20:16

Should HAVE been said
Sorry OP but why??

YANBU though

Original poster
user1470064958 · 15/04/2017 20:18

Yes I was a proper chubber as a bub, but I asked if she meant as a baby and she replied no.... meaning fat as an adult. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
user1470064958 · 15/04/2017 20:20

Title should read ;

To think something should of been said

Sorry I'm a little worn out tonight

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 15/04/2017 20:22

No OP should have. Never should of.
Some people think they can comment on the weight of others when it's none of their business. Ignore.

helpimitchy · 15/04/2017 20:23

Is she fat? Perhaps she's jealous because you're obviously not fat as an adult.

SoloDance · 15/04/2017 20:23

YANBU.

She was rude,as is the poster saying HAVE.

ThreeFish · 15/04/2017 20:24

But if the child is under 10 yo, and you used to be size 12 and you are now a size 6, then to the child's eyes you have lost a lot of weight.
= normal size now, therefore used to be fat.

NabobsFromNobHill · 15/04/2017 20:24

Of course something should have been said. By you. Why are you expecting other people to say it if you won't?

SoloDance · 15/04/2017 20:24

Some people think they can comment on other people's grammar. That's not on either.

Wolfiefan · 15/04/2017 20:25

Kids say what they think. They should be told when they are rude but I wouldn't stress about it.
And it is have.

NabobsFromNobHill · 15/04/2017 20:25

Of course they can comment. It's helpful for people to learn when they are wrong.
OP wanted to correct someone saying the wrong thing, so I'm sure she appreciates the advice.

SoloDance · 15/04/2017 20:25

Yes i think that's been pointed out enough.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/04/2017 20:26

I probably would have corrected a child if they were making rude/personal comments.

SoloDance · 15/04/2017 20:26

I bet you couldn't wait to point it out. It's fucking rude.

GloGirl · 15/04/2017 20:26

Yanbu, bloody rude.

Original poster
user1470064958 · 15/04/2017 20:35

I said nothing as I was shocked still am

And thank you for the grammar lessons. That was the most important part of the thread and exactly what I wanted advice on.

OP posts:
agentmarmalade · 15/04/2017 20:43

I would be suprised if a ten year old commented on my size (I am 14/16 but used to be 8/10) and I would point out to any child that "it's not polite to call people fat, it can hurt their feelings" and like wise I would correct my children were they ever to pass remarks on someone else. It's the only way they learn if they don't already know.
Are you worried that the family may have been saying you were 'really fat' back when u were a size 12? In which case, wondering if they've said other cruel things behind your back?

LovingLola · 15/04/2017 20:48

I said nothing as I was shocked still am
But you say you said it to her mother and grandmother. Why did you not say something to the child?

longlostpal · 15/04/2017 20:48

Can't believe people are being so blasé about this. Of course if a 10 year old child told you you used to be fat in the presence of their parents or grandparents, said parents or grandparents should have told the child off! Perhaps the child said it innocently, but they still need to be told why this kind of comment is not on and made to apologise. YANBU at all OP. The only thing I can think of is perhaps the adults concerned thought the child was talking about you being a fat baby, in which case there would have been no need to apologise. Or maybe they didn't hear. Anyway hope you were not upset about it -- you shouldn't be, size 12 is not fat.

Ginkypig · 15/04/2017 20:49

Some younger kids don't start out with a what not to say gene, it needs taught, it can be taught gently.

I remember when my step kids were quite young them seeing a picture of my father who had died a couple of months previously (but they didn't know I don't think) so I was a bit sensitive.
They looked at it and their only comment was he looks so old! Now he would have been competed to their parents but he had only been 64 when he died!
So I replied gently that they should think about what they say as it could hurt people's feelings, telling them I was a bit sad because he had passed away but then I laughed saying you think that because your so young that's all.

Years later my eldest sdd told me it had been a good lesson to learn and she had appreciated how I had kept it lighthearted at the same time.

Ginkypig · 15/04/2017 20:50

Compared*

BeverlyGoldberg · 15/04/2017 20:53

For fucks sake.

Since when was a size 12 fat?

You should HAVE got a grip.

amy85 · 15/04/2017 20:54

reminds me of when my 8 year old niece asked me a few months after giving birth if I had another baby in my tummy because it looked like I did...my Mum was there and in charge of here and just laughed at her comment...it's safe to say I never wore that top again and went home and had a little cry

some kids are insensitive when they should know better and of course whoever was in charge of the child should have said something too them

NabobsFromNobHill · 15/04/2017 20:54

So its "I feel like someone was rude to me but despite not saying so I'm appalled no-one else said so"?

Not really fair, is it?

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