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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My dog bit my son

181 replies

Mumoftwomonkeys1976 · 15/04/2017 19:12

I'm devastated. This afternoon our almost 2 year old Cavapoo bit ds1 16 on the mouth, hard enough that he had to go to hospital for stitches. He's never done anything like this before but now I feel as though I can't trust him at all.

I don't really know what my AIBU is, just wondered if anyone else has ever had this happen and what I should do next really. Ds1 is so upset and was more concerned about consequences for the dog than for himself.

OP posts:
DearMrDilkington · 16/04/2017 17:38

Firstly you need to sit your ds down and ask him to tell you exactly what he was doing. His reaction screams he was winding the dog up and knows it wasn't the dogs fault.

Find out exactly what happened before you decide.

Flossimodo · 16/04/2017 17:40

I've had 5 dogs in my care over the years but I don't profess to know anything about how to deal with aggression. None of my dogs have ever growled at me or anybody else. None have bitten me or anybody else.
Then again, none of them have been teased or rough played with. Just ex ercised with throwing and fetching and long walks and basic training. Given all that, if one of them had bitten, I would have it examined by a vet, and if nothing was found I would PTS. I would not pass the problem on to someone else. I would worry forever that my inability to carry through a hard decision might result in someone else getting hurt.

PippaH74 · 16/04/2017 17:43

Sorry to read this. Love our dog, real part of the family and would be devastated to have to deal with this situation. I would talk to your vet, and get some professional input, then make an informed decision. You are not going to be able to relax, worrying it might happen again. Poor you, v. hard.

angeldiver · 16/04/2017 17:55

I smoothed my nan's sleeping poodle, which promptly woke up and bit my lip. I should have had stitches but my nan disliked hospitals and by the time my mum took me, they didn't want to debride the wound.
The dog never bit again, just as I have never disturbed a sleeping dog without warning.
I know it's only anecdotal but you really, really need to make sure your dc's respect the dogs space. If you can't guarantee they won't, then you need to do the decent thing and rehome somebody dog savvy.

Needingchange · 16/04/2017 18:20

I really hope everyone saying put the dog to sleep never owns a dog. What right do humans have to decide if another life is worth living. Makes my blood boil. If you choose to put a dog to sleep so quickly don't invest in one!!!

ofudginghell · 16/04/2017 18:28

Awful situation op.
We have always had dogs and have always taught our dc from as young as possible to respect the animals and their space.
Our eldest ds 18 used to irritate the dogs and get a telling off from us to boot.
Our dogs have always been trained that dc are to be respected but also the other way round.
At 16 your ds really should know better but like I say my eldest has on occasion wound the dog up.
We have told him to stop and that he is not respecting the dogs space etc etc.
When the dogs are on their beds asleep touching and playing with them is a no no here and all have been taught that.
You are in a very difficult situation and maybe your ds will learn respect and boundaries now with the dog although it's not a nice way to learn it.

Ignore the sniping on some posts as I'm sure your feeling crap enough as it is.
A situation to live and learn from I guess.

user1480459555 · 16/04/2017 18:45

So many disgusting posts by dog hating idiots. Shouting "have the dog pts" when you don't even know all the facts is pathetic. Why should an animal be killed at the drop of a hat just because it suits a human?

The "rehome" brigade are not much better. Of course the rescue centres in this country are not full to the brim with dogs that need a home are they? So many people get rid of dogs on a whim - they get bored with them, they can't be bothered to walk them etc etc. A huge number of rescue dogs will NEVER find a home and will either be pts or live for years in a kennel (wow great life).

OP needs to find out why her son decided to annoy the dog when he is old enough to know better and make sure he knows not to do it again.

A dog will growl because it is unhappy and is letting that be known. It shouldn't have to though

Toffeelatteplease · 16/04/2017 18:49

I was bitten on the mouth by my dog under very similar circumstances.

Wasn't pulling the dog around or teasing it. just putting him to bed, but I was ill and smelt different. Without doubt it was my mistake; dog growled a little warning but not enough for me to realise I needed to move away. It really is an easy mistake to make if you trust the dog.

I'd have been horrified had my parents kept him. I would never have been comfortable in my own home again. Facial scars are no easy thing to deal with when you are a self conscious teen (although they did fade)

Thankfully an experienced couple no kids were able to take him on.

Please get rid of the dog. It just isn't fair on you child.

Toffeelatteplease · 16/04/2017 18:55

And frankly if it did happen again it would be entirely your own fault for keeping the dog. I couldn't live with that

Gottagetmoving · 16/04/2017 19:18

Your dog shouldn't growl at your ds even if he was in his bed and wanting to be left alone.
I think the dog has not been trained properly in that respect.

Chickenagain · 16/04/2017 20:23

Flapjack & Sparechange have summed it up perfectly. Good luck.

Gabilan · 16/04/2017 20:23

Your dog shouldn't growl at your ds even if he was in his bed and wanting to be left alone. I think the dog has not been trained properly in that respect.

As pp have said, it's important that the dog can growl and isn't told off for it. Growling is a warning sign that says "I'm not happy with this" without harming anyone. If you tell a dog off for growling then it may not growl but maybe more likely to skip straight to biting. (And before it growled it probably exhibited several other signs of stress that were also ignored).

It is important that anyone living with a dog learns to read these signs and to respect them before the dog escalates. And whilst no, dogs cannot have carte blanche to do anything, they should be allowed to say, in effect "I'm a bit tired and a bit grouchy, please leave me alone".

Amaried · 16/04/2017 21:27

Honestly I'd get the vets advice. If your dog is that temperamental I'd be too concerned that a stranger could pet him at the wrong time and end up being badly bitten or worse..i couldn't have a dog in the house that people had to tip toe around to avoid him biting them.. way way too high risk

AbernathysFringe · 16/04/2017 22:00

Hi, so the son invaded the dog's space and got bitten. You need to get the son above the dog in the pecking order, as it clearly thinks it is above him at the moment. Do this by making him responsible for its feeding, training/games and walks but especially its feeding. Put the dog down a peg or two by banning him from the sofa/chair - hard with a spaniel but worth it for now as he's crossed a line. You also need to teach the son not to pester the dog when he's sleeping/semi-asleep, particularly relevant as a dog grows older and may sleep more deeply, become more irritable. It's not a PTS situation, just change your habits and get your dog subordinate to your son.

Flossimodo · 16/04/2017 22:03

If my dog had bitten my child I would have the dog pts. No ifs and no buts. The dog is given to biting. Most dogs are not, but aggression needs to be bred out of tnem. kept several dogs over several years and not one of them has growled or snapped

If a dog bit my child it would be gone spit spot

glasgoo · 16/04/2017 22:07

You are taking a big risk here op. If /when your dog bites again it could leave a life changing injury if it attacks your DC face. You will feel awful if it bites again and you've let that happen. I would pts no question.

AbernathysFringe · 16/04/2017 22:11

Just noticed the dog's age! 2 is a teenager. Dogs do actually have hormonal rollercoasters at that age, just like people do, any vet worth their salt will tell you that. Not an excuse but a note to bear in mind the dog's moods might be off. It's also a really impressionable age, almost more so than a puppy and negative or positive experiences can have long lasting influences on them. Put your dog firmly in his place in the pack below your kids, now.

SilverLeafClover · 16/04/2017 22:24

Get your dog subordinate to your son?!

Frillyhorseyknickers · 16/04/2017 22:37

If my dog had bitten my child I would have the dog pts. No ifs and no buts.

It's annoying, infuriating even, that people with your attitude decide to get a pet - you would be better suited to a stuffed toy.

Dogs require training, understanding a loyal, committed homes. If you can't accommodate an animal in your life and view them as disposable, you shouldn't get a pet. It's disgusting how many people on this thread view dogs as such an expendable item.

KoalaDownUnder · 16/04/2017 22:51

The dog is given to biting.

You do realise this is bullshit, right? A dog that bites once is not necessarily 'given to biting', any more than a child that hits another is 'given to hitting'.

I love all the tough posturing about 'my child comes first' by some people on these threads. Newsflash: for even the biggest dog-lover, a child will always come first. That doesn't mean you immediately kill the dog for any act of aggression . If it does, you have no business getting a dog.

MuncheysMummy · 16/04/2017 23:13

I agree wth those saying if the dog regularily growls this isn't acceptable anyway in a home with children (not that I'd want a dog that growls anyway personally not exactly friendly behaviour I've had dogs my entire life,large guarding breed and have never had one growl at me! At strangers yes but not close family or myself)

MuncheysMummy · 16/04/2017 23:15

Abernathys it's not a spaniel it's a mongrel cross breeds often don't take on any of either parents good traits sadly!

Flossimodo · 17/04/2017 00:18

Frilly
I've had several dogs and not one of them has growled or bitten. I've never had a dog pts, but I hope I would be responsible enough to do so if I had to. Piss off with your holier than thou attitude.

hellopeoplehowareyou · 17/04/2017 00:37

If my dog bit anyone I'd have them rehomed,
Iv owned lots of dogs and none of them have ever bitten anyone.
Iv had my babies pull their ears, mouth, tail etc and never once have any of my dogs so much as reacted.
Definitely a trip to the vets and look into why
Your dog might have done this as it does sound out of character for this to happen after 2 years.
Don't listen to anyone who says to have them put down, one bite isn't enough for that I feel. I was attacked by an alsation when I was 3 and it was sadly put down, but it was a constant offender with no hope for change.
I hope everything works out x

kali110 · 17/04/2017 03:44

This dog needs to be destroyed. Dog owners make me sick... putting a stupid animal above your baby! Social Services should by should be informed imo

And judgemental biased people make me sick, but there you go Hmm

Glad you're not automatically pts op, judging by your son's reply i think there maybe more to this.
If this is so out of character then you need to take him to the vet, get him checked out then behaviourist.
just because he's bitten once does not mean he is prone to biting!
Ofcourse you may have a diffucult decision to make in the future as your 7y/o safety is paramount.
Please if you do decide to rehome don't put an ad up on fb/ gumtree etc, you don't know where he'll end up, or use the to the rspca.
There are other, better organisations.
I'm sorry this is happening to you.

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