My dog bit my son

[Mumoftwomonkeys1976]

I'm devastated. This afternoon our almost 2 year old Cavapoo bit ds1 16 on the mouth, hard enough that he had to go to hospital for stitches. He's never done anything like this before but now I feel as though I can't trust him at all.

I don't really know what my AIBU is, just wondered if anyone else has ever had this happen and what I should do next really. Ds1 is so upset and was more concerned about consequences for the dog than for himself.

It's the poodle in them.

FFS had poodles all my life, like any dog if well bred, well trained and treated properly they are fantastic dogs.

Problem here, designer 'Cavapoo' likely puppy farm/BSB bred, unsocialised as a puppy, not from good temperament parents, in a home where a 16yr has no bounders and everyone blames the dog!!

As stated up thread, dog needs safe place, I'd opt with a crate, dog is trained to go into crate when he's told, dog is never disturbed in crate, KIDS are trained, job done.

2 year old Kids bite other kids all the time but no one says put the 2 yr old human down.

Because that would be stupid. Humans are human and dogs are just dogs.

Idiotic thing to say.

I suspect from what you say about your DS´s reactions, he badgered and badgered the dog until it snapped. I imagine this isn´t a mistake he will make around dogs again, so I wouldn´t do anything more about it. In any case, I wouldn´t make any decisions for a week or two until you all feel calmer.

I was bitten by dogs twice as a child. I loved dogs then and I love them now. But I refused to learn that I had to respect their boundaries and I wouldn´t leave them alone. It took two bites for me to learn that lesson. Neither dog was put to sleep, thank goodness. It was entirely my fault (as I was told at the time, my mother didn´t go it for undeserved sympathy!).

My dog bit DGS a few years ago. I have put dog in another room when DGS visits. Ddog issue seems to be with small children so now DGS is bigger we allowed them to be together (supervised) and they were fine on last visit. DGS came last week and Ddog was growling again so back to square one. They have to be separated because DGS does not listen when told not to approach dog or to try and play with him. Ddog fine with other DGC but they have a dog so probably behave differently.

There's actually a dog called a Cavapoo????

My friend has a new Golden Retriever. She's a beautiful gentle dog and well trained and my friend allows her 2 year old granddaughter to play with the dog and "kiss* her face etc.I am terrified the dog will bite the child in the face. Friend say retrievers don't bite people, are friendly, she's had them before etc etc but I see the size of the dogs jaws and teeth and I see the baby's face and I feel ill. Why do people just trust a dog not to bite because it's never done it before?

Sandgrown so its the childs fault your dog can be trusted to behave itself? lets hope nobody ever makes a mistake and allows the dog to get to the child.

dementedma

I also have a golden retriever - she is so soft and gentle and loving, she has a "soft mouth" as she's a working gun dog. She's so loyal and biddable and I think the world of her.

However, she is a dog. As much as I trust her not to snap, I would never put her in the position where she felt threatened by another person, especially not a small child.

I think the problem is that a lot of people who have dogs can't read quite basic body language. What they think is cute panting is the dog telling you they are anxious and worried.

There is absolutely no reason why babies/toddlers/children cannot grow up in a household with dogs, but you have to be fair to your dogs and give them the safe place they really need.

Too right FRILLY.

The dog has to be pts, no question.

Get the dog assessed and go from there. It does sound like there aren't enough boundaries and your son was in the wrong. The dog should have a safe place to sleep and never be disturbed. We have a Labrador, once when my son was crawling he crawled up to the dog in his bed and pulled himself up by grabbing the dog. The dog growled. I put my son outside. My son who's 5 now never ever approached the dog in his bed now and the dog knows that we will deal with the situation, he doesn't need to. It's a non negotiable rule in our house- the dog mustn't be approached when he's in his bed. Even small children can understand that, if you think they can't then the dog should be crate trained.

Yeah, straight to the vet tomorrow and have the dog PTS before having it checked by a vet, through discussion about what really happened for it to bite and be seen by a behaviourist. Fabulous advice there xmasbaby.

The dog needs putting down.

Friend say retrievers don't bite people

They do, although the frequency with which they occur in the stats is skewed by the fact there are so many of them. Your friend is wrong - any dog has the capacity to bite if pushed enough.

The dog needs putting down.

Oh look, the vet/animal behaviourist who has met the dog & owners and made a thorough assessment is here to solve the problem!

Oh, wait. 🙄

Good advice here (and not from the PTS gang). A dog who growls regularly isn't a relaxed or happy dog. I accept that training is all supposed to be 'positive' these days but that doesn't mean dogs don't need good routines and boundaries. Your son shouldn't have his face close to a sleeping dog. The dog needs a quiet safe space, that isn't a chair in your living area. My dogs are allowed on the sofa, with me, if they ask and if I decide they can come up, otherwise they're on their beds in the room.
When small children are here, the dogs are in the utility, with a child's safety gate stopping the small children going in there. The small children who are regular visitors know not to go into the dog's room even when the gate is open. Given you have a seven year old, I'd be very cautious as your dog has bitten.
Your vet should check the dog over and will recommend a good behaviourist. If your dog is insured, the insurance company will pay for this (once you've paid the excess)
A word about poodle crosses. I realise they are disliked by many purists. I have two currently, both lovely dogs. One is a cocker spaniel x miniature poodle, 1st cross. The other is 5th generation working lab x standard poodle. The group I train with has 2 cavapoo's, both lovely dogs with great temperaments. The issue is the x, it's difficult to predict temperament. The other issue is that because they look like Disney designed them and the breeders don't give honest information about how much training is needed, the fact that the large labradoodles almost all have a high prey urge that needs good managing throughout their lives, they are not hypoallergenic, they do shed etc. I could go on but i won't. I'd only say, these doodle dogs have many many positive qualities but they are not for the faint hearted. They are not ideal for first time dog owners - that's an understatement.
I hope you can manage this but you need to get on it immediately and take precautions in the meantime. Specific breed charities will sometimes take dog who has bitten in these circumstances and place it with a foster carer who does not have children, so an assessment can be made before the decision about its future can be made.

If you don't want to rehome or pts, that's your choice.
But you need to put the dog back in its place. No place on the furniture, they are for humans, its superiors, and a crate, so that it has its own safe space.

Ffs Being on the furniture does not create a dog who wants to take over the world!

Dogs do not have a concept of 'being in charge of the furniture'. What matters is that the dog feels safe and undisturbed when resting - which in this case it wasn't

If the dog does not like people going near it sometimes, and growls to let them know, I would be seriously considering if the 7 year old is safe tbh. You can tell a 7 year old not to do something til you are blue in the face but if they are in that mood..they will do it. Unless you supervise every second the 7 year old is near that dog, then I would be very worried

This occurred to me too Wanking. I don't like dogs, so know nothing about them.....but I do know about 7 year olds! And it's not just safe to assume that you have rules for your family to stick to. What if your DS2 has a friend or two round?

Your kids aren't safe around this dog.

Don't put the dog before their safety.

So the DS annoys the dog. The dog communicates that it's not happy. DS continues to annoy dog regardless. Dog communicates again but with a bite.
Train your DS to have respect for animals. If he carried on aggravating a person after being told not to he'd probably get some sort of physical response. Well a dog has limited options - it tried growling and DS ignored it. So it went with its only other option. Totally the DS's fault.

As I posted up thread we had some issues with our dog and one of the things our trainer said was that there isn't a problem allowing your dog on the furniture if you want to and it won't cause MOST dogs to guard the sofa but it CAN - we certainly couldn't allow ours on as he wouid growl when asked to get off . Our mantra was "all 4 paws on the floor"
On the rare occasion our dog does get on now he gets straight off
And Retrievers CAN bite!!!

Possibly a child free environment would be a much better option for your dog, who does sound to be of a nervous disposition.
I would seriously give this option your consideration.
There isn't a need to P.T.S..

**I don't understand why people think it is appropriate to have a dog in the same house as a child
Because they offer love, comfort, someone to talk to and someone to listen, responsibility and fun. And because they help to teach that if you treat others with kindness and respect you get a lot of love back, whereas if you are mean or ignore something, you get nothing back.

I'm astonished at the bonkers statements from people like 'retrievers don't bite'. Any dog can bite.

Loving all the pp saying the dog should immediately be PTS. If the 16 yr old was close enough to be bitten on the mouth, then he needs to back off when the dog is sleeping.

Mine will growl if someone looms over him and I don't let small children approach him. I doubt he'd bite, he never has done and he likes to be as close as possible, head on my collar bone close, but I wouldn't risk it. DS definitely needs reminding.

I think you'd have to really judge yourself if you think the dog is safe. We can't know that as readers, but getting territorial over sofa space isn't good with a 7yo in the house regardless.

I love animals but I'm not sure of the benefits of a family dog who gets stressed with the family