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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My dog bit my son

181 replies

Mumoftwomonkeys1976 · 15/04/2017 19:12

I'm devastated. This afternoon our almost 2 year old Cavapoo bit ds1 16 on the mouth, hard enough that he had to go to hospital for stitches. He's never done anything like this before but now I feel as though I can't trust him at all.

I don't really know what my AIBU is, just wondered if anyone else has ever had this happen and what I should do next really. Ds1 is so upset and was more concerned about consequences for the dog than for himself.

OP posts:
leghoul · 15/04/2017 19:50

I think you're taking a huge risk with a younger child in the house. I wouldn't hesitate to rehome the dog. We can all make excuses 'oh but he reached for x, oh but she doesn't like people coming into her space, oh but they used the wrong door, oh he was holding a sandwich' or whatever it is. You have to protect your children. To even balance their safety and risks of doing nothing with your dog is reckless.

Inadither · 15/04/2017 19:51

Was the dog asleep then? Let sleeping dogs lie. When first awoken dogs can be grumpy as they're not quite with it and react unlike they would the rest of the time. It sounds like your son was not being very respectful of his personal space when asleep.

longlostpal · 15/04/2017 19:51

Sadly, I think that you can't keep the dog when you have a seven year old child. I think you need to take it to a vet and have your son explain honestly what happened so the vet can advise whether rehoming or euthanising is appropriate. I'm sorry, how very upsetting for you. I hope your son is ok. But you should act on this, as it would obviously be worse if your younger child or someone else is seriously harmed.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 15/04/2017 19:52

The key here is your dog needs to know ds can access any area and dog doesn't own the chair. .
Our husky growled at dd when she sat on 'her' chair. . Dog not allowed on the chair anymore and has never growled at dd again.
By letting the dog on the furniture you have given it status over ds. Easy put right if you are willing to accept the bite as a one off.

Screwinthetuna · 15/04/2017 19:52

If it was an accident or teasing (such as waving food to the dog and then putting it in mouth or if the dog went to catch a ball in its mouth and it went by your son's face, I'd just be very careful and watchful for a while. Similarly, if your child was beating it or had it backed into a corner and it felt afraid, I'd also be extremely careful about leaving them alone and never allow the child to bully/hurt/torment the dog while teaching the dog that your son is dominant.

If it was a deliberate bite, I'd feel I had no choice but to take to a rescue centre. Very sad but your child's safety comes first.

Badcat666 · 15/04/2017 19:54

My betting is the 16 year son was pissing about with or pissing off the dog, maybe involving rough and tumble or antagonising it face to face and got bit. Not the dogs fault if that happened it's the sons fault 100%.

God I hate it when ppl just say put the dog down. A dog will normally bite out of fear or to defend itself. 2 year old Kids bite other kids all the time but no one says put the 2 yr old human down.

piknmixer · 15/04/2017 19:54

I'm so sorry this has happened.

Does he growl as a warning a lot? That's not great in itself - a happy dog shouldn't need to growl to warn someone to leave him alone Sad

I'd getting him checked over at a vet to see if there's any physical reason for him growling/biting.

BrandMombie · 15/04/2017 19:55

PTS seems dramatic to me. I'd contact a few of your local rescues (not RSPCA - they PTS), and explain the situation. If they have the room they can foster, until someone is keen to adopt. Or they may have people waiting to adopt. I'd say safety wise your dog needs to be with a family that has no children, sadly. I can only but imagine what a difficult situation this is for you and your family, however just reassure your DS that your dog likes space and would benefit from another home. Flowers

Screwinthetuna · 15/04/2017 19:55

Just read update. Sorry, but if it was me I think I'd have to rehome Sad.
You could always take him to a vet and check there isn't anything causing him pain as that can lead to aggression but I don't think I could ever trust him again Sad

FireSquirrel · 15/04/2017 19:55

First rule of dogs is that you don't disturb them when they're eating or sleeping, and if your dog already growls when it doesn't wabt to be approached (which is a GOOD thing by the way, a dog who gives clear signals to let you know when it's unhappy is much better than a dog who bites with little or no warning) then it's making it as clear as it can that it doesn't always want physical contact and that should be respected.

I wouldn't automatically put to sleep, it sounds like there was probably a reason for the bite and it was a single bite rather than a sustained attack for no apparent reason. Your children are old enough that they should be able to respect the dog's need for space so with the help of a good behaviourist and a management plan put in place there's no reason why this has to happen again. If you don't feel able to trust the dog anymore though or aren't able to commit to hiring a behaviourist or putting a behaviour plan in place then you may need to consider rehoming through a good rescue centre - many will take dogs with a bite history and find them suitable homes.

Veterinari · 15/04/2017 19:56

I think you need to seek help from an APBC behaviourist - the fact that your dog needs to growl to communicate stress indicates he's anxious and your family is not listening to that

This is definitely fixable but you need professional help asap

witwootoodleoo · 15/04/2017 19:57

I would have the dog thoroughly checked by a vet for an underlying problem. I would get a well respected behavourist to assess the dog.

I'd also have serious words with the kids. The fact the dog feels it has to growl to be left alone suggests there's a lot of overstepping of boundaries going on.

You need professional help here and no-one can advise without seeing the dog in the flesh and observing the family dynamics with the dog.

WankStainWasher · 15/04/2017 19:57

Wow Trinity that escalated quickly. The fuck is wrong with me is that I think it's absurd that people are straight away "destroy the dog" while knowing as much as I did when I posted the OBVIOUSLY facetious remark about rehoming the 16yo. Cheers.

notanothernamechangebabes · 15/04/2017 20:00

I'm sorry OP but I wouldn't risk it with a smaller child in the house.

We rehomed one of ours when I was pregnant, because she was too unpredictable. Hadn't ever bitten, but was very aggressive with other dogs, and increasingly with me. The last straw was when she snapped at me when I shuffled my feet into my slippers and she was lying on the floor a few feet away.

Id rehome - be honest with the new owners- or if nobody suitable, sadly I'd PTS. I know it's not easy, and I don't say it lightly, but one bite and they're out for me.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 15/04/2017 20:02

It depends, can you find out from DS exactly what happened? He's 16 so be honest and tell him he's not in trouble if he did wind dog up but you need the total truth so you can work out what to do now.

If it is he's ignored a growl and wound the dog up then I would be looking at teaching DS not to do that (although i suspect the bite has taught him already) and making sure the 7 year old knows how to act round dogs, then making sure 7 year old and dog aren't alone together at least while you monitor dogs behaviour. Dog could possibly do with some training as well. Sensible precautions and you should be able to keep the dog. I would muzzle it while out in public, just to be safe.

Totally unprovoked I would look at rehoming to a family without DC or as a last resort, PTS.

GinIsIn · 15/04/2017 20:04

Is it happening often that the dog is growling? Because that's already a sign that the dog is at a point where it is stressed and unhappy. If the dog was exhibiting warning signs which your DS chose firstly to ignore and then to put his face in range, I really don't think the dog needs to be PTS. I do think if you want to keep the dog your DS needs seriously educating on how to behave around animals, and you need to work with a behaviourist to work our what is upsetting your dog in the first place.

RandomMess · 15/04/2017 20:04

That's not good that DDog growls to be left alone.

She needs behaviourist treatment, get her assessed & see what they say. Can you gate off a room for her so your 7 year old can't get bitten - ie the dog is out the way when she wants to sleep? Give the dog a chance to be assessed and take it from there?

oblada · 15/04/2017 20:05

I'd probably re-home. PTS is a ridiculous extreme without exploring the re-homing side.
If the dog has regular grounds to growl then the situation doesn't sound ideal and best to send the dog to a family more suited to his needs. I have a dog and 3 very young children and our dog has never had cause to growl at us or the children. He has growled at other dogs and once at the vet when his leg was hurting but never to us. Whilst it is important for a dog to growl (more problematic when they skip that part) I don't think it's normal for a family dog to have to growl at his family more than once in a blue moon... And of course it's concerning that your son potentially ignored the warning from the dog and got himself bit...

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 15/04/2017 20:05

Shot in the dark here OP, was DS16, blowing on the dog, whilst it was sleeping, by any chance ? Trying to get it to wake up. He must have been very close, to get bitten on the mouth.

ShamefulDodger · 15/04/2017 20:14

I've got to ask op, is your teen ds into 'selfies'?

It seems tonne the 'in' thing around here, taking up close selfies with family pets.

A neighbours teen had to go have stitches after taking one with their grumpy cat who hates phones.

(Also forgot in my earlier post, definitely the vets to see if there is any kind of medical problem causing the dog pain)

dailystuck71 · 15/04/2017 20:16

Poor dog.

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2017 20:17

The fact that the bite was so severe is concerning to me.
We had a few issues with our dog, including him biting twice but the bites weren't very bad because despite the fact that he DID bite ( not good I know) he was holding back - bite inhibition I think it's called and they are supposed to learn it as a puppy.
We have worked with our dog ( with professional help) and there are very very clear signs that he is uncomfortable with a situation and we all know how to defuse it so it doesn't escalate to a bite but I also the 2 times he has bitten since we had our dog both time the bites haven't been severe.

Original poster
Mumoftwomonkeys1976 · 15/04/2017 20:30

Thanks everyone, I'm going to try a behavioural therapist as we really don't want to lose our boy. Ds2 knows that as soon as ddog is settled down to sleep that he's to leave him alone, but it seems that ds1 ignored his warning (growls) and carried on fussing him when he was trying to go to sleep.

I'm honestly not trying to make excuses, my first thought was to get rid of ddog if I'm honest, but ds1 is so upset, that's all he thought about on the way to the hospital, he wasn't even concerned about his injury.

OP posts:
GiddyGiddyGoat · 15/04/2017 20:31

It's ds1 you need to train. If the dog is allowed on the chair and was lying there it's not ok to disturb him - was he asleep / dozing? Not surprising he bit if he was suddenly woken up. Does dog have a bed / crate that is his? he should be able to relax and not be disturbed - which means dos should respect that. There is a reason for the expression "let sleeping dogs lie" you know.

Poor ds though and all of you - must have been a horrible shock.

Busybusybust · 15/04/2017 20:38

Ok, right! So he won't do it again, will he?!

My late dog, lovely chap once bit my (then) 13 year old don on the cheek - enough to bruise and break the skin. I thought long and hard about my reaction. Son and dog were good mates - quite sure the dog thought son was another pup! So eventually came down on the side of the dog, and lectured son about being more respectful of the dog.

The dog never bit anyone again, and son was much nicer to him. They remained the best of friends!

Don't blame the dog - sounds like he was pushed too far!

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