My dog bit my son

[Mumoftwomonkeys1976]

I'm devastated. This afternoon our almost 2 year old Cavapoo bit ds1 16 on the mouth, hard enough that he had to go to hospital for stitches. He's never done anything like this before but now I feel as though I can't trust him at all.

I don't really know what my AIBU is, just wondered if anyone else has ever had this happen and what I should do next really. Ds1 is so upset and was more concerned about consequences for the dog than for himself.

I find it sad how many people scream put the dog down. Even with biting a good behaviourist/ rehoming away from children is always an alternative. It's sad people are so flippant with killing an animal! I think your doing the right thing seeking a behaviourist although it does sound like your son didn't take warning to leave the dog alone. I hope his lip heals quickly

You need a decent behaviorist to assess what is happening. Growling is a useful warning sign and must not be ignored, but equally a dog tha growls often is stressed. It would be best to figure out why the dog is stressed, what can be done to help him relax and then decide whether you all as a family can take on the training required.

Can you get the dog a crate to sleep in so she has a space thats her and safe. No one bothers her there?

If only we could put humans down as quickly as we do dogs! Humans are often the cause of issues in dogs

From Vetinari's post (the attachment):
Never punish a dog for showing that he wants to be left alone by growling, leaving the situation or demonstrating more subtle signs. If you punish a dog for growling or breaking a stay to get away from a child you might suppress the warning or avoidance behavior and he might just bite without warning first the next time (I am not a monsterimnotamonster.org/any-dog-can-bite/; accessed 150417).

As Op says...maybe her son ignored the dog's growling.

so I can only assume ds ignored the growl and that is when ddog went for him.

Everyone's assuming that ds1 ignored his warning growl and teased him. This isn't clear from what you've written.
You need to ask ds1-and without putting words into his mouth either, by suggesting he was teasing or whatever. You'll feel dreadful if your 7yo, or another child gets bitten.

This happened to me with our cocker spaniel when I was 7 - he was diagnosed with spaniel rage and since my mum was pregnant and there was also me and my brother (10) he had to be put down on the vet's advice as the condition was high risk.

To clarify I hadn't been winding him up, up until that point he had been the most lovable dog and I knelt down to stroke him when he was sat staring at a wall (very out of character to just sit like that and as an adult I'd be wary of approaching a dog sat staring at a blank wall but as a 7 yr old thought nothing of it) when he went for me. We were all devastated

I hope your situation turns out much more positively but just wanted to advocate getting a professional opinion.

Short term:
Get the dog off the furniture. ALL furniture, and get a crate, cave or donut bed in a quiet corner
When the dog is in the bed, it is not to be disturbed by DCs. No excuses, no exceptions.

Get the dog to the vet for a full check up. Teeth, ears and joints especially. If the dog I in pain, it will feel more vunerable and therefore more likely to snap when put under pressure

Medium term:
Behaviourist to teach you to read your dog's behaviour. Learn what whale eye is and respect it. Learn what your dog is telling you with its ears
They can also look at the behaviour and see if there is an issue. If there is, it is 98% likely to be trainable if this hasn't happened before

Rehoming is a cop-out lazy option for people who can't be arsed to address the problems they have almost inevitably created

cakes

Cocker rage is a totally, totally different thing. The situation OP described isn't a cocker rage one so your scare story is really not helpful or useful

But how did he get a bite to the face? Surely a dog that's upset and doesn't have its warnings heard and is being touched would bite a hand?
Dog needs a safe space. No one would bother a dog that's trying to sleep.

Rehone him. You have a younger child who could be at risk.

*rehome

People saying 'oh rehome him'
What exactly do you mean by it? Drop him off at a rescue centre and leave it to them to deal with?
Or advertise him on FB/gumtree 'lovely dog when he isn't biting faces. One careful owner'

There isn't a huge queue of people looking for dogs of dodgy temperaments with not enough detail of their past to be able to potentially train out the issue

When you say 'rehome', you really mean 'wash your hands by taking him to a rescue centre and let them put him down after you've left the car park', right?

To anyone saying dogs shouldn't growl - yes they should - it's an alternative to lashing out - it's like saying 'would you stop doing that please' rather than just punching someone in the face without warning.

The children need to learn not to disturb the dog when he's eating/asleep etc.

Personally I would get him checked over by the vet. Did you say he was on the sofa? Sorry can't remember if you did or not but if so then this needs to stop. Have his own area where he can retreat and make sure everyone knows that they are not to disturb him when he's there.

Rehoming a perfectly well mannered, healthy dog is hard enough - it's much much harder to rehome one with 'issues' and biting a child is not going to make him very attractive.

You'll get a lot of 'pts' on here because MN is full of dog haters - I absolutely wouldn't hesitate to suggest pts if I thought a dog was dangerous and especially a danger to children be it his fault or not - in fact I would often say it's the more responsible thing to do rather than rehome but I seriously don't think a small dog snapping at an older teenager who pushed him when he had already given a warning is grounds for pts if I'm honest.

I'm sorry your son was hurt and it must have been very upsetting for you. Probably here isn't the best place to post though as it's not the most sympathetic of forums - I would talk to a behaviourist and/or vet. Our vet actually has a behaviour specialist - think it's one of the nurses so maybe try there first.

@Greyhound81 talks a lot of sense. Good advice. I know it's upsetting but you need to understand why it happened so you can avoid it happening again.

You cannot simply rehome a dog that has bitten. That's extremely unfair on the next owner.

The dog needs to be put down; it is dangerous.

Does your dog have a place to go when he's had enough of fuss? Ours hoes under the stairs a la Harry Potter- its his safe place and no one disturbs him. Hope your ds is ok

Spreadyourhappiness, no, the OP's son was being a wally and pissing the dog off and clearly ignored warning signs.

Any dog can bite if they're forced into a situation they don't like. This dog didn't do it unprovoked, so don't be bloody daft.

Dog is annoyed.
Dog moves away from annoyance. (Maybe tucking itself in tighter)
Dog is annoyed more.
Dog grumbles.
Dog is annoyed more.
Dog bites.
The fault lies with the person doing the annoyance.
It really does.

When I was young our family dog bit me. He had an infected paw and I accidentally leant on it while playing with him. I begged my father to not put the dog down as it wasn't his fault. I had to have stitches and we kept the dog. There was no debate there really, it was my fault and I knew not to touch his paw.

Dogs bite for a reason. If he was annoyed and your LO kept on annoying him then he needs to learn not to do that. The dog shouldn't be rehomed or put down. Your DC needs to learn what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to the dog.

First things first, the dog needs a crate for sleeping somewhere quiet, dogs give out lots of warnings before resorting to growling and finally biting, learn to look out for them, ears pinned back, yawning, lip licking, tight mouth, whites of eyes showing, turning face away, these are all saying I feel uncomfortable with what you are doing, respect these signals, if dog growls listen and don't punish, punishing the growls is like taking the batteries out of a smoke alarm it will remove your warning signal. Do consult a behaviorist but be careful to make sure they are actually qualified and apbc approved and preferably member of the pet professionals guild. In the meantime keep the dog separate when eating or sleeping. A vet check is also always recommended in case pain is a factor, get the vet to check sight and hearing too.

We had a dog like this, that bit in very similar situations. She was a rescue and had had a bad start in life, unfortunately. Her biting progressed to the point where one of my sister's friends needed multiple stitches on her face and we were lucky not to be sued. We had her put down at that point, but imho we should have had her put down sooner.

It wasn't her fault that she had a bad start but we shouldn't have let her carry on biting people for as long as she did.

I don't think you should make any rash decisions. Let everyone calm down first. I do agree about maybe getting a crate for the dog to sleep in undisturbed.

Once you ds has gotten over the shock of the bite have a calm conversation about what actually happened. I suspect the "fussing" may have been a little more on the "playful" side than your ds wants to admit right now and he wasn't taking the growl seriously. Ask your ds to clarify if your dog only growled the once before he bit or was there more than one warning?

I'm not trying to accuse your ds of being willfully unkind to the dog but it's only fair to the dog to have an exact picture of what happened.

This does not sound like a family dog to me, even before you get to the biting your acceptance of his growling when he wants some space sets off major alarm bells for me. I feel very sorry for you - it's a horrible situation, but I would not have this dog in the home with my young family and I've had dogs all my life.

It could bite a younger child next time. If it catches whoever it bites next time in the eye area for example it could cause some serious damage. The only responsible thing to do is to have it put down.

The dog growls often and has now bitten badly enough that stitches were required. I'd PTS.